To be honest, I am not sure where to ask this question. I was married for 9 years to my ex wife. Our divorce was final almost a year ago, but she is refusing to turn in her military ID because she still uses it to get military discounts everywhere she can. Is this legal? Is there a way for me to get her to turn it in, or do I have to suck it up and get over the fact that she is benefiting from my military service after cheating on me and breaking up our family? Honest question, please don't be harsh.

I thought she had to be married at least 10 years before she would be entitled to it. I'd report it to the military, give them the details and if they determine she should not have it... tell them where she uses it and they will seize it next time she uses it.

That is what I thought, but our divorce was final three months before our 10 year anniversary. The problem is, most places that accept id for a military discount do not check to see if it is expired, and I am not sure when it expires. I am wondering if I can request the judge order her to turn it in since we are in the middle of a custody dispute.

You could, but you can also speak with the people on your base at pass and badge and see if they can do anything. They usually are very strict about such things.

... since we are in the middle of a custody dispute. ...

If OP and his ex have children together, isn't it plausible that she should have the ID for the benefit of the children, who could be termed dependents? I don't know but it's a thought.

If OP and his ex have children together, isn't it plausible that she should have the ID for the benefit of the children, who could be termed dependents? I don't know but it's a thought.

Ex-spouse of Military members generally aren't entitled to half of their future pensions or base ID cards until they are married OVER 10 years being it takes 20 years of service for the military member to qualify themselves. Military regulations are fairly specific about that. Saw more than a few spouses lose base benefits and ID cards after a divorce. Plus many of the benefits a spouses ID card allows them to access are taxpayer supported or subsidized.

Smoothy, I believe you are mixing pension entitlement (as should be covered in a QDRO) and ID cards. Are you saying that it take's 20 years for a GI to get an ID card (and 10 years for his or her spouse) so as to qualify for PX privileges? That doesn't seem right.

Nope... if they are no longer married to a Military member, their right to a Military ID card ends (if its been less than 10 years).

Now that's not the kids... just the ex-wife. The kids I believe would still qualify in this situation assuming the non-military spouse gained custody, and those would end after they because adults legally....but can't remember if its 18 or 21..

If a GI leaves service before 20 years voluntarily or severed for misconduct... they neither collect a pension... nor get to have an ID card for life.

Why would everyone that's did a single tour or two have benefits for life? The spouse would have to have been married to them for at least half of their military career and dealt with the hardships and everything that goes with a military career for a spouse. I actually think its very fair. Why should an ex-spouse of less than 10 years get benefits the military member wouldn't qualify for if they left service?

Those benefits are more significant than most people realize. And gets them access on closed bases around the world where those benefits are significantly more valuable, not just the USA. It goes far beyond PX and Commissary access.

The PX and Commissary are really not the fantastic deals people remember from 30+ years ago, and are the least valuable benefit in the USA when they were in the service or with a family member that was.. In many cases particularly in the USA...better deals are to be had in off base stores. They are not heavily subsidized like they once were.

It sounds like it is void, and she is not using at on a military base. She is merely using it to get a military discount at stores, movies or other private places that give discount to military families.

The problem is, she is the type of person who will use it wherever she can. So, for example, I get one pass to say Busch Gardens for myself and my current wife and kids, but if she goes before me and uses her military ID, she could use my free pass. That is just one example. But yes, I don't think it is right that she should benefit from a military discount since we are no longer married (and she is the one who cheated on me multiple times, including while I was deployed, and screwed me over with not paying our bills which shot my credit and caused me to have to wait to even start the process of buying my own home).

Why this issue was not resolved as part of your divorce is beyond me, but it would seem you still need the courts to make her surrender her military ID, and stop her discounts. I get how it upsets you, but if the military or the courts cannot make her stop using this ID, and that would seem to be a matter of you reporting her to the right authorities.

Don't those ID's have an expiration date?

My kids aren't refusing, they actually want to live with me. I am surprised she is risking this since we are in the middle of a custody situation as it is through the courts.

Why this issue was not resolved as part of your divorce is beyond me, but it would seem you still need the courts to make her surrender her military ID, and stop her discounts. I get how it upsets you, but if the military or the courts cannot make her stop using this ID, and that would seem to be a matter of you reporting her to the right authorities.
...

Actually, neither the military nor the OP is harmed by the ex using the ID. The only party who's ox is gored is the merchant who gives the ex-wife a discount based upon the ID. In other words, it's really no one else's business.