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View Full Version : My dad is cheating on my mom; and is this normal?


sammi_
Apr 22, 2015, 02:47 PM
Hi everyone! Let me tell you a little bit of myself. I live with my parents and they have only one child (which is me). My mom is a stay-home mom who does the chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.) and my dad is the one who goes to work and earns money for the family... Actually, we don't even act like a family...

I have no idea when or how this has started. My parents were pretty young when they had me. Well, not as young as teens, but early twenties. I guess growing up, their relationship started to fade. I don't remember when it started to fade I just know that they barely talk compared to 10 years ago.

My parents never talk. At all. Its almost like they pretend they don't exist. Well, okay not exactly. But all they would say to each other each day is, "what do you want for dinner" or "is this enough food" when my mom is making dinner. That's pretty much it. I hate to say this but, my dad would come home, not even say hi to my mom or I, then go to his room, and lock his door. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, my parents don't share a room. In fact, I share a room with my mom which you can guess why. I actually don't mind sharing a room with my mom (I know some teens hate it) since I love my mom obviously. But anyway, yeah my dad spends his whole time in his room when he is at home with the exception of dinner or when he's coming downstairs to get a drink or something. During dinner time, it is just me and my dad downstairs eating in front of the TV (yes, the TV my dad watches television during dinner) and my mom doesn't even eat with us she eats upstairs so we don't sit together for dinner as a (not so) family. Also my dad doesn't talk to me during dinner all he does is watch TV and eat. Other than questions like "do you have homework" and that's it. He doesn't ask anything else about school other than if I have homework.

Okay so now you have a view of what my family is like at home, here is where it gets to the point. It started about 5 or so years when he all of a sudden says he's not coming home after work or dinner. It was very strange at first and he never told us where he was going all he said was he's not coming home. But one day my mom actually asked him where he went and he actually did tell her he was going out with another woman. My mom told me that and of course I was upset. And he continued to go out about twice a week not returning home for dinner and he would come back at around 3 in the morning to sleep. This pattern continued for a year and a half until eventually he kind of stopped for about a year. Then after that it started up again but this time he goes out as much as 5 times a week returning home extremely late and sometimes, not even coming home at all. Who knows where he went or what he is doing? He could be out doing ANYTHING and possibly things like
... I don't even want to say!

Also, my parents could divorce anytime. If my dad declares a divorce, then he has the right to kick my mom out of the house because they mentioned if they ever were to divorce I would stay with my dad (since he's the one who has a job) and I could possibly never see my mom again which would upset me because my mom and I are close and I would hate to not live with my mom. If my parents ever did divorce I would actually be very depressing. It would affect me and hurt me a lot. But who knows when it would happen. It could be tomorrow. You never know.

Does anyone know or have a similar situation to this? Also what would you do if you were in a family like this? Is it normal?

Oliver2011
Apr 22, 2015, 04:56 PM
When it comes to the makeup of a family it's very difficult to define "normal."

Some adults fall out of love and their lives drift apart. It's sad but sometimes being apart is the best solution for all parties involved. Their relationship is their relationship and you won't get a vote. When two people separate they don't stop loving their children.

Do you have any friends that are from homes where the parents got divorced? Maybe you could talk to them for advice on how to handle it.

Fr_Chuck
Apr 22, 2015, 05:41 PM
What country do you live in? Since in most of the world, a divorce is a difficult legal process that can take years. Only a few places can a man "declare a divorce".

Also why does your mom not work? If she could be out on the street anytime, she should be taking measures to find work and save money.

Also, if they divorce, why would you not see her? I am divorced and my son calls his mom every day (if he wants) and visits her when he wants. The normal on divorce is that the child sees each parent some, if the parent wants.

There is also no normal, lots of family live like this, but the man stays since a divorce would give a lot of his money to the wife. Often they would have three bedrooms, where the child has their own.

talaniman
Apr 23, 2015, 03:48 AM
It's tough on kids when parents don't get along enough to make a happy home environment that ALL kids want to live in, but it does happen. The best you can do is respect their arrangement and love them both no matter what because despite what's going on between them they do love you, so don't take sides. Does no good any way.

In the US, divorce is as common as marriage and a lot of people get divorced several times and have kids from each marriage. A complicated mess of emotions, and broken relationships. You try to love both your parents, (and stepparents) and realize parents are flawed human as we all are.

What country are YOu from?