I am 3 months pregnant. I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old, both boys. My 4 year old Lyndon will not listen to ANYONE! You tell him not to do something and he does it anyway. Spanking him and punishing him doesn't work. We have tried everything, taking stuff away and everything. He doesn't care. Last night he was jumping on my husbands back and my husband asked him to stop repeatedly and he would not stop until he started yelling, then my 4 year old started to cry and have a fit. He also never sleeps. We have to fight him to go to bed and he wakes up everyone at 6 in the morning when he wants to get up. I really feel like I'm about to lose it! I don't know what to do anymore. I thought it was the attention thing so I tried to spend more time with him but things never got better. PLEASE HELP ME! I really don't want to lose this baby because of stress.

Thanks
Ambra

Ever watched Super Nanny?

Oh, yes, I know where you are coming from. But a child of this age wants attention. Good or bad it does not matter. By yelling and/or spaking he is still getting attention.

Have you tried redirecting? For instance when he was jumping on your husband's back you should just take him by the hand and redirect him to an activity that is acceptable. No words, don't say anything, thus he is not getting the attention that he desires. Continue to redirect without eye contact until you get the desired response, i.e. he is doing what he is supposed to. Now, it may take a while for the first few times, but is well worth it in the end.

The age of 4 is all about control. They are attempting to assert their independence and want to control their environment. But as parents we have to maintain control at all costs.

I have been where you are 4 times now. My youngest just turned 5 and my oldest is 21. I understand the frustration you feel.

I wonder.. have you mentioned this to your sons DR? It may be a number of things causing this.. [im sure nothing serious tho], but when you also mentioned that he isn't sleeping well it made me think of what I would do in that same situation.. and I think I would check with the DR. Also... have you given any thought to pre-school? Or maybe like a program that would help him to have a chance to express all of his energy.. and perhaps get a little more tired out.. and also.. give you a little time alone? LOL.. cause believe me.. when you have 2 at home, lol.. there won't be a lot of time for yourself!!
Best wishes to you and your family... and.. CONGRATS on the new baby!!

I agree that pre-school would be a great idea. And also, going to your Dr. to find out why he is not sleeping.

When my daughter was around that age - she was ms. independent. You could not tell her anything. We had to start being very firm with her. We don't spank her unless she has done something really wrong. But, what we would do, hold her face (not hard) and make direct eye contact with her. Tell her what we expected from her and then go on. Making her STOP what ever she was doing and make her focus on what we were telling her - helped. We of course have a time out corner in our home. She would have to stand with her nose in the corner for up to 5 minutes. If she got out, we would start over. It didn't take long for her to realize that if she just does her time - she can get out.

If you feel he is totally out of control - you could try this - I saw it on Dr. Phil.
Strip his room of EVERYTHING. Leave nothing but a mattress and box spring on the floor (and of course his bedding) And tell him he has to earn his belongings back. Set the rules and stick to them.

Good Luck!

I so know where you are coming from you just have to be firm with him and keep punishing him he has to know who is the boss he is just testing you to see if you will give in and you can't no matter how big of a fit he throws try putting him in time out in a nice quiet place it will take awhile though but that's what I kept doing with my little one he would get put on the stairs if he was bad and if he got up which he did like 100 times but I would just ALWAYS place him back there telling him he was bad and when he would be good he could come talk to mommy nicely and he did learn he now he knows who is boss and when I say no I mean no