PDA

View Full Version : Is this short announcement grammatical? Is it too wordy and hard to understand?


backhoe13
Mar 27, 2015, 08:48 PM
BTW, the rules of St. Patrick affect nearby parishes and communities.

"In accordance with the guidelines of the Parish of St. Patrick, the Anticipated Mass for the celebration of Easter this coming Saturday should start at 9 o’clock p.m. However, considering the difficulty and inconvenience of celebrating the mass on such a late hour, the Berkeley Square Community sees it best to cancel our Anticipated Mass for Easter on April 4. The regular schedule of our Anticipated Sunday Mass will resume on April 11 at 5 o’clock p.m. Thank you. "

Fr_Chuck
Mar 28, 2015, 02:52 AM
Really too wordy, and for some perhaps even confusing, when you talk about when the mass will be, then that it is cancelled. The entire first half is not really needed.

Really all that is needed is:

"The Berkeley Square Community sees it best to cancel our Anticipated Mass for Easter on April 4. The regular schedule of our Anticipated Sunday Mass will resume on April 11 at 5 o’clock p.m. Thank you. "

joypulv
Mar 28, 2015, 06:51 AM
I agree! I might insert 'because of the late hour' somewhere.

J_9
Mar 28, 2015, 07:33 AM
Celebrating a mass ON such a late hour? How about AT a late hour? Also, why will we be celebrating mass 6 days, on the 11th, 6 days after the fact?

This is all wrong on many levels.

talaniman
Mar 28, 2015, 08:29 AM
This would be my version,

"The Anticipated Mass for the celebration of Easter this coming Saturday should start at 9 o'clock p.m. However, the Berkeley Square Community sees it best to cancel our Anticipated Mass for Easter on April 4. The regular schedule of our Anticipated Sunday Mass will resume on April 11 at 5 o'clock p.m. Thank you. "