How to get my ex-girlfriend back?
Me and my ex girl was in a relationship for 6 months. I broke up with her out of frustration. It all started 2nd of February when I found a condom at her apartment by the trash can on a Monday morning when I was about to go to work I asked what is this she said I don't know so I left without not trying to start a fight she called and text me for two days I didn't respond I called her back and she said she bought a ***** and she was not liking the sex that I'm too rough on her I told her that you should have let me know cause we already talk about our sex life that anytime she is not feeling satisfy she should let me know. I went of on her that night on the phone and she started crying It was our first major big argument..

The next morning I text her I'm sorry for What happened she replied we will talk about it later that night. She text me that night and say we need some time apart I called her and ask her why she said is too much for her and I told her that I was feeling stress also.

I gave her space for a week and text how are you doing she told me she is fine and I ask if she wants to hangout for valentines day she said she still need her space. I text her again lets put our differences aside and hangout she didn't respond for two days. I text her again on Thursday night no respond and she text me that Friday morning I don't feel like going. So I text back its fine but can you call me please later tonight cause I don't think I could play this petty games. She didn't call and out of frustration I sent her a text that I'm moving on the day before valentine's

She never text back for a week then I text her the Thursday before her birthday I'm sorry for making that statement I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive. She replied and said she is not mad at me I text back can we meet up face to face and talk she replied what for? I answer about us and of you are in the process of moving on I respect that All I can say I love you and I'm sorry if you don't want to take me back its fine, she never replied.
21st of February 2015 was her birthday I text her happy birthday and she replied thanks. The next day Sunday morning my little brother mistakenly dialed her number twice. She text back what's up and I told her it was my little brother who called we had a quick conversation of how are you doing type of thing then since then I have yet to text her or she have yet to text back.

So I told myself I'm going to try the no contact rule for 2weeks I'm on day 4 of no contact and each day is tougher I want to text her so badly at the same time I don't want to sound so needy. I want my life back but I keep thinking about her. I need your help

The only problem I have with her is that she don't communicate well she don't express her feelings that much she rather talk to her friends than me. I'm her first boyfriend in college I like this girl a lot but she is just not trying to open up to me she said I have trust issues that I should stop treating like her dad I told her that I don't want to but you making me to talk too much cause you are not telling me what's on your mind.

No contact is not a method to get a person back. It is a method to get over them and move on.

Ok what should I do then

What should I do to get her back

Ok what should I do then

You tell her the truth, about the way you feel. But remember, if too many things are said, and she got too upset, there is not always a way to get back together.

You can try, just asking her to do something simple, and hope she will

At this point I think you stick to struggling with No Contact, if nothing else to get your head on straight, and get your heart under control.

Maybe she misses you, maybe she won't, but she obviously is trying to do without you, and maybe you need to let her. Its very simple when they ask for space, give it to them, and don't make a pest of yourself.

You already know the communications was poor, and she is even more unwilling now to talk to you, so back off, way off, and leave her alone. No Contact is for you to get yourself together, and do other things besides think of ways to get her back, which often makes things even worse.

You must admit you could use some space yourself just to let your emotional dust settle a bit, and gain a fresh perspective, with fresh eyes.

Thats what No Contact is really about, healing from the trauma of a break up.

I would have walked out upon finding the condom and never looked back. I think she has someone else. C'est la vie. Happens to all of us. Suffer because that's what we have to do.

You do have a major problem - you think there are ways to 'get someone back.' There are NOT. People are not possessions. They are as free as you are to drop you on a dime.

If she end up calling or text back while trying to get myself back together what should I do?

Cross that bridge when you come to it.

I want to text her so we can meet up and talk but I don't want to sound so desperate this is our first major argument I feel like we can work it out but I don't know if she wants to. I'm currently trying to give her space so I can concentrate on calming my emotions down and get myself back together.

I need a serious advice.

Copying and pasting new threads will yield no more advice than you have gotten. Been in your shoes, and know very well the frustration of having to accept she doesn't want to talk, meetup, work things out, or any other solution, or try any fixes you THINK will work.

You have gotten serious advice, are leaving her alone, so all that's left is getting yourself together, by calming your own emotions. For you I suggest some serious strenuous PHYSICAL activity to work some of that frustration off, and a few understanding close male friends, or even family to be around for a while as you adjust your thinking.

Isolation is your enemy, it make you dwell too much on your loss, instead of ways to rebuild a life that you enjoy without depending on her to be happy. What is this your first break up? First girl friend, first sex partner? Break ups suck, but don't let it make you a desperate, overwhelming, obsessed person who overreacts to messed up situations. That's a recipe to lose your dignity and self respect, and make yourself even more miserable and stuck on a pity pot.

Go get a friend and hit the gym before you drive yourself NUTS over a female. RELAX.

I know thats not what you WANT to hear at this time, but its the serious advice you NEED to hear. Get BUSY!

I'm sorry to start at the beginning but I take it it was a used condom - with semen... sorry to ask. I would have checked. Not sure I understood the reason she gave.

Anyway, give her the space she needs but keep in touch. Maybe be friends for a while - go out as friends - show how you feel - but no pressure.

Obviously, you like her but when someone suddenly has a go at you you get a bit wary (frightened) of them so, you'll need to be gentle. If you do get back together make sure you are more mature about it next time.

Anyway hope it all goes OK but if not, you are young and unless she is "the one" you may be hurt but there will be other loves and this will fade... it's a xxxx this love business.

Richard

You need to leave her alone!

There is nothing in your post to suggest that this six month relationship was going to go anywhere. I suspect that it should have, in fact, been over sooner than the six months, with all the time-outs.

Leave her alone is my advice to you. It's pretty clear she is not interested in you.

I'm a bit confused. Perhaps, I need more coffee? But you said you found a used condom, no? Um... I think the **** meant... a toy/machine/device, no? If so, why would you use a condom on a personal device such as this? I've never owned one. Kudos to those who have them :) But... is this normal? Would one use a condom on a personal device that I use solely on myself? I say... something is wrong with this picture. Leave her be. I don't believe she is telling you the whole truth.

You cannot get your ex-girlfriend back if you continue to be the same person who broke up. Are you getting it?

After all there was a context to the breakup. Am I right? If you are the same person who broke up, how will you engage with her again? To engage with her again you will have to be an absolutely new, fresh person, that old fellow must die. Unless the old ‘Kari’ dies there is no possibility of a new relationship. Is this becoming clear?

And what do I mean by, ‘the old Kari must die’? What is this ‘old Kari’ all about? When you say, ‘I am Kari’, what are you all about? You are your entire worldview, you are the entire set of beliefs that you are carrying about yourself, about the world, including your girlfriend.That’s what you are in your head.

But that’s not so easy, because we have grown great attachment to those dead beliefs, to all the residue of the past. We think that if it goes away, something very important goes away. We think that it is the essential ‘I’, how can we let it go off?

A relationship is lively.You cannot remain in the past and yet have a living relationship with anything, not only with your girlfriend, but with anything, anybody, not with your parents, not with your teachers, not with your friends, not with books, not with anything. If you remain anchored in the past, then you will never come to the new. And this moment is always new, this moment is always new.

The past will have to die. The false will have to die. When the past dies, then you see the present. When the false dies, then you see the truth. Getting it?

There is brightness everywhere, but you will only see darkness if your eyes are closed, and then you will claim, ‘it is very dark’. It is not dark at all and light is not far away, it is there, your own eyes are closed.

Open your eyes. And ‘open your eyes’ means, opening your eyes to the reality of the present moment. When you open your eyes, what do you see? Do you see the yesterday? Or do you see the tomorrow? No, when you open your eyes, you see what is right now.

Kari have you ever bothered to know that why it comes to a breakup? It’s not only about the ‘girlfriend’. Have you ever bothered what is the cause of all conflict in the world? Boyfriend breaks up with girlfriend, husband fights with wife, friends can’t get together, nations are quarreling with each other, communities are fighting with each other, and all this is just the same.

Have you ever bothered to know that why there is conflict in life?

There is conflict in life because man lives in a virtual reality.

Approach her, approach the present in all freshness. It is there, right now. Let those memories, let those images be present just as an information, but let them not interfere with what is. Let them not become a substitute to what is, and then see the magic. Are you prepared to die?

It is not so difficult. It’s the false that will die. The real one will always remain, it cannot die. The real one will always remain, it is impossible for it to die. Getting it?

This love, which begins mostly just as an attraction to another human being can be a great force of self-awareness. So the question may just be, ‘how can I get my ex-girlfriend back’. But that question will cause a great movement in life, a great movement in life. It may begin just as an attraction, but it will be a life- altering thing. The whole structure of the mind will change.

Prashant Tripathi