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stevvo
Apr 9, 2007, 06:23 PM
I've been depressed over the past week and yet nothing I do seems to cheer me up, Just so many things have happened in the past week and I have no idea how I'm going to feel better soon. Can anyone tell me what I could do to help me out? Music doesn't work for me and neither does any comedy shows or movies. This has been distracting me for a long time. Grades are dropping and everything...

robertsqueen
Apr 9, 2007, 06:35 PM
What has been taking place in the last week? When I get depressed I go for a nice long walk, usually around dusk, and it helps to clear my mind. Or I take a nice warm bath with some bath soak, I use stress reliver. I need to know what has happened so that I can better advise you.

stevvo
Apr 9, 2007, 08:24 PM
Well, really one is that my dog had to get put down, another is that I have found out that my grandfather is ill and probably won't be here much longer, Then someone who I love that I never told is going out with someone else... but the thing I didn't know is that they liked me back, but it was too late for me. Just things haven't gone over very well for me in a while, Its just a feeling like you got shot several times in the same place, yet your still living but with great amount of pain.

stevvo
Apr 9, 2007, 08:25 PM
What has been taking place in the last week? When I get depressed I go for a nice long walk, usually around dusk, and it helps to clear my mind. Or I take a nice warm bath with some bath soak, I use stress reliver. I need to know what has happened so that I can better advise you.

I will try those things. The reasons on why I feel like this is answered. Just now I don't know what to do.

letamamya
Apr 9, 2007, 08:34 PM
I've been depressed over the past week and yet nothing i do seems to cheer me up, Just so many things have happened in the past week and i have no idea how I'm going to feel better soon. Can anyone tell me what i could do to help me out? music doesn't work for me and neither does any comedy shows or movies. This has been distracting me for a long time. Grades are dropping and everything... Get out and talk to people; make new friends.Try to get away from what is stressing you out. If she cares for you like you care for her it definitely won't be your only chance. If it is destin for you guys to be together it'll happen, give it time.Only you know what is wrong. Sometimes you may be stuck in a rut, but it will get better ! Good luck and I hope you feel better! I.

grammadidi
Apr 9, 2007, 08:39 PM
You have had to deal with a lot, so it's quite normal to feel depressed. The best thing you can do is find someone (or several someone's) that you can talk to about your feelings. If you hold them in, the sadness WILL intensify. You need an outlet.

It's okay that you feel sad, but if you feel it is overwhelming then you should see a doctor and tell them what has been going on in your life and how you are feeling. They will help you.

I am so sorry about your dog and your godfather, especially. You need to concentrate on the good memories with them, yet still allow yourself to cry. Crying is cathartic. If you have trouble doing so, try it in the shower... usually works for me! :) As for the girl... cheer up! Although it may seem like it's 'too late' for you... you really never know. Maybe there is someone better out there for you, or maybe she needs to be in the relationship she is in right now, in order to appreciate you better.

Remember, the best way to put your emotions in perspective is to look at other people's lives. There is ALWAYS someone worse off than you.

You say that distractions don't work? Try GIVING of yourself. Do some charity work. It will help you feel better in addition to making you realize that your life really isn't THAT bad!

Time will help. Everything is still so fresh. Try to make your outlook more positive. Imagine what you would tell your best friend in the same situation. Be good to yourself and take time to grieve.

There are groups for people who are grieving their pets. Speak to your veterinarian about one. It should help quite a bit.

Good luck!

stevvo
Apr 10, 2007, 07:55 PM
You have had to deal with a lot, so it's quite normal to feel depressed. The best thing you can do is find someone (or several someone's) that you can talk to about your feelings. If you hold them in, the sadness WILL intensify. You need an outlet.

It's okay that you feel sad, but if you feel it is overwhelming then you should see a doctor and tell them what has been going on in your life and how you are feeling. They will help you.

I am so sorry about your dog and your godfather, especially. You need to concentrate on the good memories with them, yet still allow yourself to cry. Crying is cathartic. If you have trouble doing so, try it in the shower... usually works for me! :) As for the girl... cheer up! Although it may seem like it's 'too late' for you... you really never know. Maybe there is someone better out there for you, or maybe she needs to be in the relationship she is in right now, in order to appreciate you better.

Remember, the best way to put your emotions in perspective is to look at other people's lives. There is ALWAYS someone worse off than you.

You say that distractions don't work? Try GIVING of yourself. Do some charity work. It will help you feel better in addition to making you realize that your life really isn't THAT bad!

Time will help. Everything is still so fresh. Try to make your outlook more positive. Imagine what you would tell your best friend in the same situation. Be good to yourself and take time to grieve.

There are groups for people who are grieving their pets. Speak to your veterinarian about one. It should help quite a bit.

Good luck!

Thank you for your help, Just the thing is, I haven't cried in a long time, and now the last time I cried was from stress that I could not handle, but ever since then, its hard to even have a tear over anything for me, its just I get a really deep pain that hurts constantly and that's it... would you know why?

grammadidi
Apr 11, 2007, 09:30 AM
Every loss - deep emotional pain - causes all previous losses to resurface. Everyone grieves in their own way, but I suspect that if your pain is so very deep that you are afraid to allow it out in the form of tears because you subconsciously know that you will reopen old wounds. Sometimes we pride ourselves in being strong. People often commend us for being strong. That makes it difficult to let go enough to cry. Men, in particular, have a more difficult time because of the societal norms we tend to live with.

You have to reallly want to allow the tears to come. Sometimes we just fight them for so long that it's difficult, maybe even because we fear they won't stop... that we won't be able to control ourselves. Often it's that loss of control that we fear.

If you need to cry, but find it difficult to do so, you might have to set yourself up! Watch some tearjerker movies, sit and allow yourself to feel the pain, recall incidents from the past that made you cry or feel like crying, even starting by pretending to cry can help. You can't really force the tears that are hidden unless you allow yourself to feel the emotions, though. If you aren't ready, you just plain aren't ready.

My guess is that if you are feeling very, very depressed as you indicated in your first post, that you could cry, but you are stopping it every time the feeling hits. If it's just allowing your pain to build up and overwhelm you then that's not good for you. If you are despondent, then you should discuss this with your doctor. If you are dealing with your pain and depression in other ways, then I would say just let it run it's course, being sure to allow yourself to cry if you feel it. If you have sad things happening in your life then it's OK to feel sad! Feel it, work through it, and then keep yourself busy enough to not be overwhelmed by it.

Talking to others and/or writing about your feelings can help a lot.

Good luck to you. I think you'll be fine.

Didi

stevvo
Apr 11, 2007, 12:30 PM
Every loss - deep emotional pain - causes all previous losses to resurface. Everyone grieves in their own way, but I suspect that if your pain is so very deep that you are afraid to allow it out in the form of tears because you subconsciously know that you will reopen old wounds. Sometimes we pride ourselves in being strong. People often commend us for being strong. That makes it difficult to let go enough to cry. Men, in particular, have a more difficult time because of the societal norms we tend to live with.

You have to reallly want to allow the tears to come. Sometimes we just fight them for so long that it's difficult, maybe even because we fear they won't stop... that we won't be able to control ourselves. Often it's that loss of control that we fear.

If you need to cry, but find it difficult to do so, you might have to set yourself up! Watch some tearjerker movies, sit and allow yourself to feel the pain, recall incidents from the past that made you cry or feel like crying, even starting by pretending to cry can help. You can't really force the tears that are hidden unless you allow yourself to feel the emotions, though. If you aren't ready, you just plain aren't ready.

My guess is that if you are feeling very, very depressed as you indicated in your first post, that you could cry, but you are stopping it every time the feeling hits. If it's just allowing your pain to build up and overwhelm you then that's not good for you. If you are despondent, then you should discuss this with your doctor. If you are dealing with your pain and depression in other ways, then I would say just let it run it's course, being sure to allow yourself to cry if you feel it. If you have sad things happening in your life then it's OK to feel sad! Feel it, work through it, and then keep yourself busy enough to not be overwhelmed by it.

Talking to others and/or writing about your feelings can help a lot.

Good luck to you. I think you'll be fine.

Didi
I got to say, you really told me the things I needed to know and I feel better then I did. Thank you very much. But I still hold back tears and there is not one thing I have seen that made me cry. I still cannot sleep, for the past 4 days, I have gotten 2-4 hours a night, just last night I had no sleep and I am so tired but I can't even get a nap in my day. One of the things that is causing me even more stress is school, I got a speech to present tomorrow but I still do not have it memorized and been spending all the nights on my speech but with the depression, its getting in the way and my teacher is not giving me any chances, its just going away, but spiking back at me when things start to settle down. I still got some stress removed from the things you have said what I could do. It helped me, thanks again.

letamamya
Apr 11, 2007, 02:21 PM
Don't worry so much! Everything will be okay, after the presentation I'm sure you will see that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. I have anxiety disorder as well. But after I see that everyone isn't laughing, and they are acting respectably then everything is okay.

grammadidi
Apr 11, 2007, 10:23 PM
You are most welcome; glad that I can help a bit. I would say if your sleep suffers a lot, you really should speak to a professional. Can you speak with a counsellor at school, your parents, or family doctor? Talking about it will help, but you also may need some medication. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Depression often affects your ability to concentrate and/or sleep. A very mild anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication may be in order. An anti-depressant can help with the sleep disorder as well as the depression. Remember, you have had a lot to deal with. It's okay to seek help.

Good luck you you.

Didi

stevvo
Apr 13, 2007, 07:19 PM
You are most welcome; glad that I can help a bit. I would say if your sleep suffers a lot, you really should speak to a professional. Can you speak with a counsellor at school, your parents, or family doctor? Talking about it will help, but you also may need some medication. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Depression often affects your ability to concentrate and/or sleep. A very mild anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication may be in order. An anti-depressant can help with the sleep disorder as well as the depression. Remember, you have had a lot to deal with. It's okay to seek help.

Good luck you you.

Didi

Thank you, I am a bit nervous about talking to someone about this, yet I've been able to control my sleeping. Things were going good but I saw something that just put me into confusion and as well scared. Just at my school a few days ago, something awful happened. There was a group of teens walking in behind where most "smokers and drug users hang out" and they were carrying knives and pipes, I saw them walk in there from the school. 9 cop cars showed up and someone got stabbed, it was this weird feeling and now it just makes me mad to think why would they do that to someone? Now its all just confusion that is spinning.:confused: