View Full Version : What to do
izushkhan
Feb 17, 2015, 07:32 PM
Salam
I married a disabled girl to get passport after around two year my wife converted to muslim I said to her if you converted to muslim I will not leave you ever after 6 year being married she cant have children I still love her but I want children she won't let me get 2nd wife and one more thing last year my brother and his wife two kids moved in to live with us she doesn't want to live with them she says if you don't move out this house I will get divorce or if you get 2 and wife I will leave you my only worry is that there is no problem to get divorce but I am only scared if she gets divorce will Allah punish me for that or after divorce she could get boy friend or do wrong things will I be responsible for that please help me I am very stress
Allah bless you.
Thanks
Alty
Feb 17, 2015, 08:21 PM
You married a girl only to get a passport. Passport to where? Where do you live?
Most places don't allow 2 wives, it's illegal, not to mention immoral to many.
Do you love your wife? You say you do. Are you sure she can't have children because of a medical issue she has? Are you sure it isn't you? It's not always the woman's medical problem that prevents pregnancy. It very well could be that you're the problem when it comes to having children. Have you gotten checked to make sure? How long have you two been trying to conceive?
If you love her, respect her, and her wishes. How would you feel if she decided that because she can't have children, she should get a second husband, someone that may be able to give her children? Would that be okay with you? He'll have sex with your wife, just like you'd have sex with the second wife you want. That should be okay with you, since you expect her to accept that, you should accept the same.
If she divorces you, and she has many reasons to do so, than what she does after you divorce is none of your concern. I'd focus less on possible divorce, and try harder to make your wife happy, and make your marriage successful. Get tested, both of you, to find out why pregnancy isn't happening. If one or both of you are incapable of having a child, look into adoption. There are many children in the world that need parents. You don't have to give birth to be a mother or a father.
Get your priorities straight!
Fr_Chuck
Feb 18, 2015, 08:27 AM
Under your religion you are allowed a second wife, and I do not believe you are required to have her permission. If you want to get a second wife, then your current wife is expected to accept and adjust. **I know this will offend some, but I am merely speaking from the culture that this normally is at.
At this point your wife is making all the choices and you are not in control of your household.
talaniman
Feb 18, 2015, 08:57 AM
Divorce done in a lawful way bears you no consequence for the action of your wife.
afaroo
Feb 18, 2015, 11:40 AM
Divorcing and getting second wife are allowed in Islam you will not be punished for that, but you will be punished for using her that she got you a passport.
As Alty says Most places don't allow 2 wives, also I agree with Alty regarding she can't have children is the problem with her are you, in most Islamic country's if the women can't make children she is blamed for it no the men, Thanks.
Alty
Feb 18, 2015, 05:48 PM
Under your religion you are allowed a second wife, and I do not believe you are required to have her permission. If you want to get a second wife, then your current wife is expected to accept and adjust. **I know this will offend some, but I am merely speaking from the culture that this normally is at.
At this point your wife is making all the choices and you are not in control of your household.
Yes, religiously he's allowed a second wife. But depending on where he lives, two wives may be illegal, if he actually legally marries them both. Even if he doesn't he may get into trouble depending on where he lives.
smoothy
Feb 18, 2015, 09:26 PM
I know a few Muslim women (and at least one man)... and they are anything BUT willing to quietly accept it (trust me... I'm hearing it right now about a family member of theirs that's had it forced upon them)... but then they don't live in a country where they have few rights to speak up or anything unlike their family member that had it forced upon them.
talaniman
Feb 19, 2015, 06:41 AM
What would happen if your wife converts back to her original religion? Does where you live recognize your passport after a divorce? Can your family live with you after the divorce? Whose house is it?
Many legal questions arise that may affect you depending on where you are.
Fr_Chuck
Feb 19, 2015, 06:58 AM
A lot can make a difference, from the women point of view. I will use my wife for example, Her grandfather had 5 wives, the family was a richer ruling class in older China, Her father had two wives, so people and families like that grew up just accepting multiple marriage as a fact of life. Richer men were almost expected to have another wife, as a sign of status