Hey guys. So all your recent help on my previous online dating fiasco was extremely helpful, so thank you. I've moved on and ended up meeting someone much nicer.

I met this person online, the same place I met the last one. However, due to his job/vacations we both had planned we weren't able to meet up immediately. That gave us a good almost 2 weeks that we communicated simply via text message. To give you a bit of background, he is 28 and from Egypt, but has been living in the US for ten years. He's very strong in his Christian faith and very very very close with his family. He is a dentist who is working on finishing his residency which is over in a few months. He is also studying theology and is very active in a spinning club. So yeah, he's a pretty busy guy. I heard from him every morning. He would text me good morning and ask how my day was going, and we would carry on the conversation for a long time just finding things out about one another. Things seemed to click. Finally we were able to meet up, and it went really well. We spent about two hours talking in Starbucks and I really liked him.

The days following the date we kept in touch and he continued to wish me good morning each morning and have nice texting communication. We agreed to go out again that week and we saw a movie, which was kind of difficult since we couldn't really talk at all, so I felt like I got there, watched the movie and left. He walked me to my car and texted me after he got home saying thank you for coming to the movies with me and that he had fun.

So everything was fine and we continued to talk until that following Sunday, which is where, to me, things started to change. I texted him in the morning and I hadn't heard back from him all day, and he replied saying that his day was really crazy. I answered, telling him about a trip to Columbus I had planned. He didn't answer me at all which I thought was odd. He was posting on Facebook so I figured he clearly got the message. I waited a day and asked if everything was OK. He replied apologizing and saying he was sorry but somehow the message must have no gotten sent. He told me he hoped that my trip to Columbus would be on a weekend so we could go together and hang out before my training. I thought maybe I would take some initiative and ask if he wanted to get together that week. He replied quickly and eagerly, saying he would love to and he began suggesting days that were good for him that week. We both decided on Wednesday. So, low and behold, Wednesday comes and he contacts me saying he isn't feeling well and would like to reschedule. I waited for him the following days and he did not contact me. He liked a few of my things on Facebook but made no attempt to contact to reschedule. I tried texting him a few times and each time he replied very kindly, with smiley faces and more than just one word answers. So I asked him to let me know when he's free to reschedule hanging out. He said probably next week since this week he will be leaving for Texas. I suggested maybe on the weekend so there would be more options than on week nights like we have been doing. I told him I was looking forward to it and he agreed with a smiley face.

Yet since then, I still have not heard from him. I know I don't need to constantly be texting and hearing from a guy, but it's pretty confusing when you go from hearing from one every day to only hearing from him if you text him first. If I don't text him, days will go by and I can't wait any longer and cave in and text him. Then, on top of it, the other day I posted a status in remembrance of my mother's birthday, who had passed away of cancer. His mother had cancer too and that is kind of one of the things we had initially bonded over and had conversations talking about. Yet, he made no acknowledgment of the status nor did he contact me to say anything, as I clearly posted I was having a hard day. It sounds like such a small thing, but in the beginning he always would text me about things I posted or tell me that he was there for me when I needed it. I certainly do not get the vibe that he's "there for me" anymore.

A friend of mine told me I have the right to know what's going on after a month of knowing someone, so he suggested I just say "hey, I feel like I haven't been hearing from you as much. Just was wondering if we were on the same page." Would that be a good idea? I just wish if he met someone else or moved on he would have the courtesy to tell me instead of stringing me along and acting interested when I text him. I understand people get busy, but in my opinion it's not really an excuse for not taking a second out of your day to let the other person know you haven't totally disappeared.

I'm just confused as I really do like him :( Could it be cultural differences? Taking it slow? I'm just not sure, and I hate the idea of just "dropping" him and moving on since I felt like we had a real connection.

Leave him alone. He may not be as into you as you are to him. You have known him a month, stop all the texting. It makes you look desperate.
He obviously does not want to talk to you as much as you do to him. Take the hint.

Thank you for your response. Part of me knew this was true but I was having a hard time accepting it as it was just so sudden and out of the blue after everything was going so well and hearing from him everyday. It was all kind of just a shock.

That's one of the drawbacks to dating one person at a time. Easy to bond, and get attached very quickly and being unreasonably hopeful with high expectations. The least change makes you wonder and worry, and adjustments are even harder to make. Be honest, you made this the start of something good and wanted more, so its easy to be disappointed.

In a practical sense a month of texting and a few dates is hardly an exclusive agreement with a stranger. Dare I say all the texting doesn't count any more than chattering with a fellow bus rider on the same route as you, or the store clerk at your oft visited shop. Why don't you just back off, and go in another direction, and leave this open for later, rather than wonder, and worry, and confuse yourself about what's on his mind, or the change in the usual routine you have latched into.

Nothing wrong with making him Plan A for a bit, but single people always should have Plan B, and C, ready to go at a minutes notice.


I just wish if he met someone else or moved on he would have the courtesy to tell me instead of stringing me along and acting interested when I text him. I understand people get busy, but in my opinion it's not really an excuse for not taking a second out of your day to let the other person know you haven't totally disappeared.

Totally unnecessary line of thinking, since all you had to do was back off and go about your business (Plan B, C, and even D). Or better yet, don't be so available for that chat/text/facebook buddy crap. See how easy it was to get use to, and get so totally confused? You made that a priority, rather than the value of in person interactions.

That's too far out of healthy balance, and he should be chasing you, busy life or not. At least as hard as you CHASED him. RIGHT?

So after only two weeks, if I read this right, you met for the first time in person, for two hours, and then after that, things pretty much went nowhere, except for a movie date.

Usually in the beginning, when people click, they keep on clicking. It sounds like to me, that things are no longer going to keep clicking. All you will get is excuses and broken promises now, and he does not seem man enough to tell you straight up that it isn't going to work.

Which is much better than guessing.

I would simply let it go. Consider the relationship over. It was worth a shot, but obviously didn't work out. Move on.

I see nothing wrong with one last message to him, saying that you think it's time to move on, and thanking him for the good times and friendship.
Facebook is a wonderful place to get to know friends of friends, at least it has been for me. KEEP his friendship. And you never know what might happen a year from now...
Most nice people have a difficult time saying a possible romance is over, just because they don't know how to say it nicely!
There's a tiny chance that the 'crazy' day is continuing with real problems that he doesn't want to talk about, and he feels that he can't get involved with anyone at this time, and that wouldn't be fair to you.
(As for the friend who said you have some right or another - nope. Marriage, children, owning property together, living together for years, yes.)

I wouldn't contact him at all. Why should you? That need for closure, the last word, is no substitute for just moving forward without any more drama, fanfare, or emotional investment from you. You should have kept on dialing for dates even after you hooked up with this guy, like him or not.

You got stuck plain and simple, AGAIN. Stop committing so fast to these strangers.

OOPS - I now agree with talaniman. Re-read bits of your date with the puppy guy. I think it might be time to stop meeting men online. You seem to have a difficult time. Enlarge your circle of friends locally, and date men you have known a while, and your friends know.

Dating for fun while you get to know someone is what its all about. No strings, no attachments, no false romantic notions, no getting carried away by those intense heady feelings of attraction!

JUST FUN!!

Why is it so hard for single people to just have FUN!!

Thank you all so much for your words of wisdom.

He actually contacted me yesterday saying he's been in a bad mood lately and isn't sure why. I guess he just needs some time and space. In the meantime I will keep fishing in the dating pool.