This is probably the longest story of my life

FLUFF is right. We can't know why he is being distant. I will GUESS that he really IS busy. I GUESS he doesn't want to listen to how horrible 2 days have been. I wouldn't. It was painful reading all this, because I don't know any of you. I GUESS that you are needy, wanting a good night etc in the typical epidemic need for constant and meaningless contact of your generation. I GUESS that he may be realizing that you two are not a good match. He's a high tech workaholic, and you can't understand both his job and his work demands. He said you aren't challenging enough. I agree and find it easy to understand. You write about life in a superficial way - fluff. Sorry!

My ADVICE is to retreat a little and breathe deeply and get over any hurt, and teach yourself to not make a big deal about lapses in attention, and then just wait. Keep busy. Still not sure you would be happy together for very long though.

Also practice writing. Concentrate on summarizing and concluding (or asking yourself questions) rather than telling a long drawn out string of events. About 3/4 of all this was irrelevant.

I don't understand the bit about 'maybe in love, maybe not' and pretending. Don't be coy. You had just met in person for the first time. Not POSSIBLE to be in love.

I know it might have been somewhat painful to read and I decided the fluff was relevant to understand all that has been going on. How can you analyze the whole situation if I give you a partial story? I have condensed it down as much as possible. It's better to understand him. I literally went through a whole relationship in 10 days. He never minded me to talk about what's bothering me. So if I'm having a bad day he is there to listen and I always listen to his bad days. He would pry me more or less. I really do not try to bother him and I try my best to not add to the stress level. His cousin thinks I do not challenge him enough. Not him. He didn't really agree to that comment. We literally had a blast the whole time I was there regardless of the weird day that we fought because of his roommate. I will take the advice and stay busy. Back off and if he doesn't make an effort in three days or plus the whole situation is a lost cause.

There was way too much info here that was irrelevant. You need to learn to summarize better.

This relationship is not going to work. After meeting him in person just once you are expecting too much and way too needy. He offered for you to go to Cali to visit your grandparents because he was not interested, but you stayed. You have this video chat thing that he doesn't approve of.

Chalk it up to experience and move on. There is not going to be a future with this man.

You had a fun hook up thing so why ruin it with being needy and dependent. You can't build a reality on a quick distraction with a stranger, that takes many months of adventures to build. Get back to your reality, and adjust your expectations to be more reasonable which may take some time and work to come down from cloud 9.

It is what it is, FUN, and adventure with a new person(s), but its back to your real life until the next adventure. Who knows what's next. Stay busy and be ready, but above all keep it real with yourself.

I think you expected too much, too soon, and trying to put the pieces together as to why things aren't working out.

Just from the overall tone of your post, it sounds to me like the two of you are very different people, and drifted apart, with nothing there to build any solid relationship on.

By trying to understand him now being distant, is impossible, because you don't know him well enough, and haven't known him long enough. You are guessing at the reasons- i.e. what his cousin said, and that you didn't challenge him, and you don't understand what he does for a living. And even those reasons, in a serious relationship, wouldn't be enough to just end things in silence.

That you smoke weed every day is something that you should have told him up front, before you met him. He made it clear he wasn't impressed with that- in a polite way.

For many, that would be enough not to pursue a relationship right there.

I would advise you to leave well enough alone. It isn't likely that from what happened in such a short time, that he would invite you to visit for another 10 days, or even a weekend. There is nothing left to work on, because there was nothing built in the first place between the two of you.

I missed the part about smoking weed every day. That's a deal breaker for many people. Couple it with the fact that you have this video online chat thingy, (several things ran through my head when I read that part), well, you aren't what he is interested in.

When the lust fades, so does the interest.

As a guy.... I would be put off by the constant weed smoking and, especially, the cam thing that you do. There could be other things that he doesn't like but those would be my main problems. Then of course, you guys fought in that short time. he is just trying not to be confrontational and maybe not hurt you by telling you he isn't interested in going further. You are supposed to take the hint at this point and just kind of fade away as that will make it easier on him than him having to tell you.

Your advices I do take into consideration for future reference. I was just over reacting and of course he contacted me the next day. And he was dealing with some roommate issues. I don't think he would side with me still if he wasn't interested and continue to contact me to make more visitation plans.

I'd love to give advice, but since the entire question was deleted, there's little point in adding anything. Might as well close the thread since there's no way for anyone else to give advice based on this.

Thread closed