Hi, I am a 15 year old girl. My sister is 17 years old.
We used to live in Japan because my mum is Japanese, but at the end of 2009 we moved to Australia. My sister was 12, and entered high school (year 8). She had a hard time, because she was still getting used to English, and she didn't have a lot of close friends.
Then she changed schools in year 9, and that was also really hard for her because she used to be really shy and didn't blend in well. Also she was accepted into the school through a special ballet program, but the teachers weren't very nice, and I think she felt worried and depressed. She made really close friends sometime in year 10, and I think they really helped her.
But my parents had pretty high expectations of her and she didn't like studying so she slacked off quite a bit and didn't do very well in tests. She's had a really rocky relationship with our parents for a while, my dad doesn't have a job at the moment and my mum is working and really stressed out.
My sister got really depressed and she was seeing a psychologist for a while but it didn't really help her, and she keeps a small blade in her drawers and she cuts her arms and legs sometimes.
I've tried comforting her but I really don't know what to do.

I've feeling a bit depressed recently too, I feel like I fail at everything and that I am just a waste of space. I can't do anything right, I'm just really hotheaded and lazy and scared of everything and I think I have slight ADHD and OCD but not the bad kind, just the perfectionist kind, and probably anxiety and I think I'm asexual and I'm okay with that but you know, it just adds to the pile of things I'm keeping from everyone. But my depression is not as bad as hers, I never think about self harming. I think all teenagers feel a bit down. I sometimes think about suicide but I could never do it. Just sort of thoughts when I was feeling really sad. I wished I could have died instead of someone important who died because not many people would miss me and I'm not important. But I do want to live. I think I'm just scared of dying, maybe.

So my sister is in Japan at the moment, she graduated last month and she is having a break. That's another thing – she hasn't decided what she wants to do yet. I think she's going to uni, but she's not sure what she wants to become, and that adds to the things she's worried about.

I don't know if anyone can advise me on this, I just had to let it all out.

All teenagers do feel down at some points, I personally do. Especially when everything bad just seems to out weigh the good, you are important. And I would miss you, I don't know you but it would be a loss to our world.

If you sister is currently in Japan just wait for her to get back, don't push for her to open up to you and don't expect her to do it instantly you could just one day say it her if she's feeling down in the dumps that you are here for her and she can trust you to listen.

When parents are having a tough time, it can really take a toll on children. Your parents sound like they might be having huge worries, with your dad not working, your mother trying to support all of you, and even provide you with good schooling, classes, therapy - all your basic needs and many extras. Parents rarely if ever discuss finances with their children, but I wonder if maybe you are old enough to ask for a general outline of theirs. You could start out asking how you can help, if there is anything you can give up, can they tell you something about their situation because you worry too. Will your sister be able to pay tuition, or is it free, and what about room and board. Can they foresee what it might be like when you go to uni, if you do. Maybe you could research some careers that don't need a 4 year college degree, and you could talk about that. You are old enough to actually help your parents with their worry!
They may talk with you, they may not. Some parents think they are protecting their children by not discussing worries, especially financial ones.

As for depression, suicidal thoughts, and cutting, please do continue to comfort and listen to your sister. Her depression sounds 'situational,' meaning a direct result of her situation, and it's ongoing. She needs talk and supportive listening. You can't be expected to see her leap to her feet in therapy all happy, or be all happy around all of you, but every little bit helps. And you need help too! If you could all four talk, that would be ideal. Your parents need to see how their lives can have such a huge effect on the self worth of their children. (I felt worthless as a teen, too, when my parents were fighting all the time, and I wanted to die.)

If you can arrange this talk for after dinner, let us know how it goes?