OrangeToaster
Jan 4, 2015, 06:46 PM
Where do I even begin? There's a lot that I have to say to give the best view into my situation, so bear with me.
For background purposes, my girlfriend and I met in my senior year of high school. I'm now 21 and she's almost 20. So we've been together for 3 years now, technically. This last year, however, hardly counts for me because at best we see each other once or twice a month. From my perspective it all started summer 2013 when she got a 40+ hour work week and began seeing me less. I will say that the relationship prior to this was the best I've ever had. We were practically a perfect match and we were both really happy together.
Sometime in spring (2014) she began apprenticing at a tattoo shop, because that was her dream, she wanted to be a tattoo artist one day. This was on top of her already busy schedule and meant even less time for me. I was doing my best to be supportive of her and not be selfish. But soon summer hit and I was losing my patience. She was too busy to make plans together so I constantly tried to get her to see me but rarely prevailed. The only responses I ever got from her was that she was too busy.
This is when I began to feel like I wasn't a priority to her at all anymore. There were times when she was clearly making time for friends and family but not for me. I remember her sending me pictures of her at the beach when I had asked her to come to the beach with me only a week prior (which she said she was too busy for). There was also a weekend I tried getting into contact with her only for her to respond two days later saying she went to Warped Tour (a concert music festival). She took the time off for a concert but wouldn't take time off for me even when I asked if she could. She began being more secretive in what she did when she wasn't working. In total I think I saw her maybe four or five times that entire summer and it was only for 3 hours at a time for a "date night". I was becoming increasingly furious with her behavior. She had never been like this before with me. I kept wanting to bring up these issues with her but every time I was with her I didn't want to start an argument, I just wanted to enjoy what little time I had with her. So no progress was made and the behavior continued into Fall and only got worse. This was my fault, I was being too considerate and giving her the benefit of the doubt.
Eventually she did agree to see me more often but this time she began canceling last minute. Even worse for me because I got my hopes up only for her to crush them by bailing on me. Her excuses weren't always acceptable to me. A lot of it was roommate related. Like she had to drive them somewhere. It was bull that I never called her out on because I didn't want an argument.
So now I don't know why I have even put up with this past year at all. We've been progressively growing farther and farther apart everyday but yet I stayed. I clung to hope that things would return to how they were before she got that job, because those two years were just that great. But now its but a memory and isn't enough to make me put up with this for much longer. On top of that she has changed dramatically in the past few months. She is now covered in tattoos, which I find moderately unattractive. She use to be beautiful to me, even with only a few tattoos, but now there's just so many, plus the piercings.. I know that's being shallow but it really is becoming an issue for me. When I do see her, she feels like a stranger, and I feel slightly uncomfortable around her. She knows we're in a rocky situations and says she wants to fix things but never does anything to actually fix it.
At this point I'm just looking for validation in what I'm feeling. I personally don't think what I feel is unreasonable. I've done everything I could to make things work but nothing has changed. Now I feel like I don't want to fix things anymore and I don't know how to tell her all this. She use to be such an amazing person that brought color to my dull world (as cheesy as that sounds its true), but sadly she just isn't that person anymore.
So should I confess these uneasy feelings and move on? Or should I tell her all this and try to work through it? And how do I even tell her any of it?
For background purposes, my girlfriend and I met in my senior year of high school. I'm now 21 and she's almost 20. So we've been together for 3 years now, technically. This last year, however, hardly counts for me because at best we see each other once or twice a month. From my perspective it all started summer 2013 when she got a 40+ hour work week and began seeing me less. I will say that the relationship prior to this was the best I've ever had. We were practically a perfect match and we were both really happy together.
Sometime in spring (2014) she began apprenticing at a tattoo shop, because that was her dream, she wanted to be a tattoo artist one day. This was on top of her already busy schedule and meant even less time for me. I was doing my best to be supportive of her and not be selfish. But soon summer hit and I was losing my patience. She was too busy to make plans together so I constantly tried to get her to see me but rarely prevailed. The only responses I ever got from her was that she was too busy.
This is when I began to feel like I wasn't a priority to her at all anymore. There were times when she was clearly making time for friends and family but not for me. I remember her sending me pictures of her at the beach when I had asked her to come to the beach with me only a week prior (which she said she was too busy for). There was also a weekend I tried getting into contact with her only for her to respond two days later saying she went to Warped Tour (a concert music festival). She took the time off for a concert but wouldn't take time off for me even when I asked if she could. She began being more secretive in what she did when she wasn't working. In total I think I saw her maybe four or five times that entire summer and it was only for 3 hours at a time for a "date night". I was becoming increasingly furious with her behavior. She had never been like this before with me. I kept wanting to bring up these issues with her but every time I was with her I didn't want to start an argument, I just wanted to enjoy what little time I had with her. So no progress was made and the behavior continued into Fall and only got worse. This was my fault, I was being too considerate and giving her the benefit of the doubt.
Eventually she did agree to see me more often but this time she began canceling last minute. Even worse for me because I got my hopes up only for her to crush them by bailing on me. Her excuses weren't always acceptable to me. A lot of it was roommate related. Like she had to drive them somewhere. It was bull that I never called her out on because I didn't want an argument.
So now I don't know why I have even put up with this past year at all. We've been progressively growing farther and farther apart everyday but yet I stayed. I clung to hope that things would return to how they were before she got that job, because those two years were just that great. But now its but a memory and isn't enough to make me put up with this for much longer. On top of that she has changed dramatically in the past few months. She is now covered in tattoos, which I find moderately unattractive. She use to be beautiful to me, even with only a few tattoos, but now there's just so many, plus the piercings.. I know that's being shallow but it really is becoming an issue for me. When I do see her, she feels like a stranger, and I feel slightly uncomfortable around her. She knows we're in a rocky situations and says she wants to fix things but never does anything to actually fix it.
At this point I'm just looking for validation in what I'm feeling. I personally don't think what I feel is unreasonable. I've done everything I could to make things work but nothing has changed. Now I feel like I don't want to fix things anymore and I don't know how to tell her all this. She use to be such an amazing person that brought color to my dull world (as cheesy as that sounds its true), but sadly she just isn't that person anymore.
So should I confess these uneasy feelings and move on? Or should I tell her all this and try to work through it? And how do I even tell her any of it?