6 months ago my life was a mess. My father passed away in May which is when I came up to the country where my grand parents live to organise his funeral and so on. At this time I was also struggling with an addiction to alcohol and ice. Before my father had passed away, I had contacted several rehabs to sort my life out. After my father passed away and I was at my grandparents I received the good news telling me I had a spot in a 6 month rehab commencing 16/6. I met a family friend of my fathers while up here. He also had an addiction to ice, so we could relate and I had somebody to talk to that was my own age. We ended up using together and started to have feelings for each other. He had just broken up with his ex girlfriend of 2 years and was a pretty big mess himself. As we got to know each other our feelings grew. He treated me like a princess and I felt so special. There was no separating us. On the 2/6 he asked me to be his girlfriend which I said yes to. He had also organised to come to the same rehab I was going to buy was going to arrive a couple of weeks after me. The relationship should never have really started considering the circumstances. I certainly wasn't looking for a boyfriend. On the other hand I think he was. It was all very quick. We'd jumped into a relationship only knowing each other almost 2 weeks!!

Anyway.. We both decided against rehab and said we would help motivate each other to stay off the gear. That never happened. We were having too much fun.

He told me he had to ask me to be his girlfriend before I left for rehab. He told me he couldn't just let me go in case we could have a really happy loving relationship.I was none the wiser that I was actually his rebound. He originally told me he broke up with his ex 3 months before he met me, only to find out it was actually 3 weeks!!

At the start of our relationship he was still talking to her, which I had no problem with because of the way he treated me. I knew he was crazy for me. I ended up being wrong when I found out he wasn't only talking to her he was making advances and had planned a sleep over one weekend I went back to the city. When I found out I was furious. I came back to end it with him but his kind words just pulled me straight back in. Although I forgave him I never got over it.
Then about a month later I was openly going through his phone when I read fb messages chatting up other girls. I completely flipped but again his kind words made me stay.
I know I'm a moron but he can be so good. We had ongoing issues with him talking to his ex which finally stopped after 3 months when she got a new partner. Not long after we found out we were 5 weeks pregnant. An abortion wasn't an option for either of us. We decide to have the baby. About a month later I caught him talking to one of his good girlfriends inappropriately which I again was very mad.

From the first time I met him. I knew all he wanted was a family. He gave me hope that we an do this, even if I can't. I know he can.

Now my major problem is him and his phone. I don't trust him with his history. I know he never cheated on his ex. I'm crazy insecure and untrusting of him. I questioned him about his phone habits and told him how uncomfortable it makes me. He is very strange with his phone. Has a passcode won't let me see what he's doing blah blah.
His solution to the problem was to delete everything in his phone and continue doing so as he receives anything. That made me madder!

Since we fell pregnant we made a pact neither of us will touch the drugs. He has had a few slips which is expected. I haven't once.

I'm certain he's not talking to his ex and am pretty sure he isn't cheating on me but I do know he is up to no good!

He has really been trying the last week since I made it very clear I will be leaving if I can't stop feeling this way. I love him, I really do. I'm scared there's no truth behind when he says he loves me. Except for the last week he has been the man I first met :)
I'm pretty sure he is done with the drugs and chatting up girls and so on, but a part of me knows he is hiding something and I can't deal with it. We are nearly 15 weeks pregnant now and live together.
Please give me advice :(((((

Your post says it all. You snoop on his phone because you don't trust him, you're constantly upset with him, mad with him, because of the things he does. He's gotten better at hiding things from you by deleting the things that upset you, and blocking you from being able to snoop. He flatters you treats you nice and you forgive, but you don't forget and you don' t trust him.

You have a few options. You stay with him, raise this child together and turn a blind eye to the things he does that upset you, or you leave and do it on your own, co-parent, claim child support, but move on from him.

If you choose to stay you then accept the bad with the good. You know who he is, and you know what upsets you. If you choose to stay, you accept that behavior and you live with it.

No one has put a gun to your head, you have had plenty of incidents you didn't like, but you chose to stay. You can't blame him for that, you made the choice.

First I am not clear on what bad, he is doing, drugs ? Girls, but you say he is not cheating?

But he was a drug addict when you meet, and may be one, till the day he dies, he will not change for you, or for a baby, he will only change, when he is ready to.

If he is just chatting with girls, it is not good, but if he is not cheating??

You need to stop snooping though his phone, that is a bad thing to do. He sounds like he is just the same person he always was, and you are no longer happy with that

Mm.. I'm just so stuck because I know the man that he can be. And that man is everything I want. I know I'm hormonal and all which makes everything so much worse. He sucks up like no tomorrow. I understand everybody needs privacy and I don't expect him to tell me everything but I do expect him to be open with me. And be completely honest. I don't think that's too much to ask for from somebody that claims to love you.
I found out I was his rebound maybe a month into our relationship which hurt but we have a great connection which is why I don't want to be irrational and just jump! I'm starting to think the reason he treated me the way he did at the start when he literally wooed me of my feet was because he had just broken up with his ex and was trying to replace her and mirrored the way he treated her to me.
He has an amazing family and his parents have been together for something like 30 years. He was told from a young age that this is how a family is supposed to be. My biggest concern is that he doesn't actually love me but is saying it to keep us together for our child.