I did some pretty stupid things recently and I totally understand why me dad doesn't trust me but I'd kind of like to be able to get his trust back so he can back of a bit. I mean I understand why he doesn't trust me but at some point he got to start right? What can I do to help him start to trust me?

That is something you need to ask him. Sitting down and calmly discussing how you can begin to earn his trust is a start. Listen and do your best to adhere to the rules he sets. Try not to hide things from him. Be honest with him and ask for help.

Understand that it takes a moment of bad judgment to destroy trust and years to rebuild it. He probably won't back off for quite a while.

He is your dad and hopefully open to discussion (only you know that), so yes, I agree with Cat, sit down and talk to him and ask him how this can be accomplished. Good luck and we are here if you need us

I was kind of hoping that there would be a easier way to it than that. Im not really good at having conversations with me dad we don't really talk to well most the time it just turns into an argument but that's my bad, but I'm working on that. Suppose talking is the way to go. It's just very frustrating I can't do anything because he doesn't trust me. But how long is that going to last

It's going to last as long as it takes. It takes time to rebuild trust.
Behave yourself from now on.

It's going to take as long as it takes! I really don't understand adults. I've been doing everything he has asked of me not just for him but for me self as well. It's just so frustrating being stuck at home not aloud to go out because he doesn't trust me and I don't want to just go out because that's just not going to prove anything to him but that I can't be trusted. If he would just give me a bit of freedom then I could show him that I can be trusted. I mean I don't want to spend the rest of me life stuck at home he's got to give me some chance to prove me self to him, well I hope anyway.

This is still very new. It may seem like it is taking forever but it hasn't even been a month since you told us you were trying to get your life turned around. It's been about two weeks since you went to the police. That is very little time.

This isn't going to be fixed quickly or easily. Frankly, your father would be a fool to give you too much trust at this moment. It isn't because deep down you aren't a good kid and you don't want to change but because temptation is going to be strong. You need to take time to build coping skills before you have too much freedom.

I'm not asking for him to give me total freedom I just want to get out I'm sick of being stuck in this house. The only time I'm aloud is with him I don't even go to school anymore I have to be home schooled until the end of the year. I just feel like I'm suffocating. You know let me go for a 20 minute walk let me go around the block. Anything every time I try to ask I just get shut down No No No. I messed up but it's driving me mad.

THis is what we call actions carry consequences. You are complaining about WEEKS... pull this stunt as an adult... you might have 10 - 15 years or more in a jail cell to complain. As was said multiple times before.. it takes however long it takes... a few weeks ISN'T nearly enough time to earn back even a tiny little bit of trust when you consider what you did. Its going to take a LOT longer. And it happens on HIS schedule, not yours.

So you suck it up and put up with it. All in all you got off really easy...instead of complaining you should be grateful you weren't put in jail or put out of the house and onto the street to fend for yourself for the rest of what could be a very short life. Many families would have done either of those. You got incredibly lucky you weren't too.

You have to keep behaving as is expected of you...you do it gracefully, because kicking and screaming about it only proves you really weren't sorry about what you did. When you fully see what you did and how it was wrong. You would gracefully deal with your punishments because you would accept that you got exactly what you deserved. And you could have gotten much, much worse. I actually know people that did. In time you will earn back trust, but it will be slow, and it will take a long time. It's not like you showed up 30 minutes late.

I am doing what he askes of me, I doing everything and I'm not just doing it for him I'm doing it for me self as well. I'm not kicking and screaming when I askes and he says no I just go back to my room. I understand that I messed up big time I know I'm lucky I didn't go to jail or end up dead or on the street. I can't handle being stuck in this house I go out 2 times a week I'm trying me best to obey everything I've been told believe me I'm trying and I want him to be able to trust me, but I don't know how to deal with staying in this house any longer and I don't want do anything stupid and I'd rather just sneak out and him have no trust in me then sit here and feel like doing something stupid.

Next time he might put you out of the house and change the locks. Would eating out of garbage cans and sleeping under a bridge, or on the sidewalk be better? Sneak out and you might find yourself doing that.

THe fact you are even THINKING about that says a lot as to why you aren't ready for trust... besides the fact its only been a few weeks. You haven't really changed yet, you only think you have because you aren't getting to do what you want when you want... which is exactly what got you into this mess in the first place.

Its all about learning self discipline. You don't like it... but you need to do it without whining about it. The rest of your adult life you will at times need to do things you don't want to do, like REALLY not like to do, but you do them because its required of you, you do it because you must do them. You force yourself to do them. Because you might find yourself unemployed and without a place to live because you have no money if you don't.

When you are old enough and have graduated. Perhaps some time in the Military would be a good thing. Seriously... its turned more than a few undisciplined people around before they ruined their lives. Plus it gave them a job and a purpose, as well as direction in their lives. And gave them training for a job when they get out.

I have grounded my children for 2 or 3 months, if something was serious enough.

And trust ? It can take a year or more, of showing you are really going to do right,

Trust is easy to lose, very hard to correct and gain back, At times it could never be gained, if the trust is broken bad enough

I hope my dad will trust me again, don't really want him to always not trust me. To be honest I don't even know why he's being the way he is. It's not like I was hurting him nothing I was doing was affecting him I didn't lie to him he never knew. I know I made wrong choices really bad choices and I know that's why he doesn't trust me but I don't know why he's so angry at me for. I want him to be able to trust me. Am I being punished because I made bad choices but how can I learn to make better choices if I'm never aloud to leave the house. It might not seem like along time but I feel like I've been in here for ever.

You are 15 years old. Everything you do affects him to one degree or another.

You ou were taking some very dangerous drugs, and you obtained them illegally. That affects him in that he could have had to bury you, he could have had some very expensive legal expenses if you had been caught buying from an undercover cop. He has your future to worry about and you were headed down the wrong path.

Accept your punishment gracefully, do whatever he asks of you without complaint. One can lose trust in a second, but it can take a very long time to build it back up m

I am listening and doing what I've been told, I don't complain to me dad at all. I wouldn't dare complain to me dad that would not get me anywhere. I'm just confused I guess I don't even know if I'm being punished or for how long me dad hasn't said I was in trouble, all he said was I'm not aloud to go out unless I ask and I have to stay in my room unless I'm called out. I don't know seriously me dad is confusing I just want him to be able to trust me enough to be able to at least leave my room and not be watched like a criminal when I'm called out

You are very lucky you are being confined to your room. Jail would be a lot worse. You are also lucky you have access to the internet. Many children would have only a mattress in their room and the clothes on their backs.

Actually, you are being watched like a criminal because your actions were criminal actions.

I know I'm lucky to have the things I have. I really don't get it its not like I got caught doing drugs it's not like me dad found out some other way I went to him I told him. I took some pills I know it was wrong and believe me after everything I never want to take them ever again. But I think I made the right choice there, shouldn't that at least mean something to him. I know I had pills I shouldn't have but I didn't do anything really I didn't steal them. What are they watching me for as if I'm going to steal their medication.

I know I'm lucky to have the things I have. I really don't get it its not like I got caught doing drugs it's not like me dad found out some other way I went to him I told him. I took some pills I know it was wrong and believe me after everything I never want to take them ever again. But I think I made the right choice there, shouldn't that at least mean something to him. I know I had pills I shouldn't have but I didn't do anything really I didn't steal them. What are they watching me for as if I'm going to steal their medication.

Have you told him about the pills you have/had hidden in the kitchen?

We have a board for people to ask us about addictions. The number one question asked is "Did I pass?". The number two question is "Will I pass?" These are adults who are in the court system because they got caught and now have to submit to drug testing. They have been arrested, tried, sentenced, did time (in some cases), decided it wasn't worth it and still mess up. Some of those posters tell us they will never do it again. They learned their lesson. One drink, one pill, one hit, etc. isn't worth the fear and apprehension of a dirty test. Several of them are back every month or two telling us they know they messed up and they won't do it again. Moral of the story, you say you won't do it again, now, but tomorrow, when you have more freedom and temptation is in your face, you may think differently.

Give yourself more time.

That you still have computer privileges says he does have some trust in you. Or are you sneaking behind his back to get on-line or go where you want while you are on-line?

I am doing what he askes of me, I doing everything and I'm not just doing it for him I'm doing it for me self as well. I'm not kicking and screaming when I askes and he says no I just go back to my room. I understand that I messed up big time I know I'm lucky I didn't go to jail or end up dead or on the street. I can't handle being stuck in this house I go out 2 times a week I'm trying me best to obey everything I've been told believe me I'm trying and I want him to be able to trust me, but I don't know how to deal with staying in this house any longer and I don't want do anything stupid and I'd rather just sneak out and him have no trust in me then sit here and feel like doing something stupid.
You are not ready to be trusted. You have not fully understood what you did wrong and the harm it could have cause not only to you but what you would have put your dad through. You would have less freedom had you gone to jail. Stop complaining and be glad your punishment is not worse. You at least have computer access. You would not have if your were mine.

He can't really stop me from having Internet privlages the whole house has wifi, he doesn't want me to go to school anymore so he can't take me I pad away or I can't do me school work or receive me emails from teachers. I'm not sneaking behind his back he knows I have me Ipad he was there when me mum sent it to me. He didn't give me any rules about the Internet. I do fully understand what I did wrong and what harm I could have done to myself I asked for help because I realised. I get reminded two times a week when I go to drug classes. You're right it hasn't been very long I suppose it just feels like forever being in my room all the time. It would be nice just to be able to come out of my room or when I come out not to followed around. If I went to jail which I highly doubt I would have I would have more freedom than what I get in here at least they get to leave their cells. I'm stuck in mine

He can't really stop me from having Internet privlages the whole house has wifi, he doesn't want me to go to school anymore so he can't take me I pad away or I can't do me school work or receive me emails from teachers. I'm not sneaking behind his back he knows I have me Ipad he was there when me mum sent it to me. He didn't give me any rules about the Internet. I do fully understand what I did wrong and what harm I could have done to myself I asked for help because I realised. I get reminded two times a week when I go to drug classes. You're right it hasn't been very long I suppose it just feels like forever being in my room all the time. It would be nice just to be able to come out of my room or when I come out not to followed around. If I went to jail which I highly doubt I would have I would have more freedom than what I get in here at least they get to leave their cells. I'm stuck in mine


Oh yes he can. Simply by password protecting the access. And limiting the hours of your account. Its HIS internet... he pays for it. He can limit it to whenever he wants to let you have access... and he can make new rules whenever he wants.

Don't for one minute think he can't or won't. Because he can really easily. And he can take them away when you aren't working on school assignments. And you aren't all the time. It doesn't matter WHO paid for the iPad.

Any privileges you have or don't have are completely up to him at any given moment.

Despite what you are saying... I see a lot of behavior that isn't accepting of your responsibility here just from your actions and words. Yes it is that obvious.

And many people in jail... only get out of the cell one hour out of 24, and even then its under strict supervision and many times its with handcuffs and shackles.

Not to be mean...but you still aren't seeing this all in the right perspective yet. You are still acting very much like the victim and not someone that takes responsibility for what they did.

Its really easy to say one thing...is a very different thing to actually do it.

I really don't understand maybe cause I'm not an adult. I've done everything he has asked me to do I don't argue with him he tells me to stay in my room I stay in me room he wants me to do me school work I do it. I haven't done anything to not accept responsibility of my action I'm not doing anything but what I've been told to do. My actions I took drug I needed help I told me dad so he could help me get help. How else can I take responsibility of me actions. I'm sorry for making bad choices I haven't taken anything since I told my dad. You say I don't see the harm I could have caused myself well I do I could have died I understand that. The harm I could have caused my dad, I could have been caught by the police and cost him money ( he took me to the police station) I understand that it would have been terrible if I had of died but I didn't I asked for help before it got to that point because I did realise I was making bad choices. I understand why he won't let me go out unsupervised because he's scared I'll make bad choices, but what is going to happen if he lets me out of me room. Am I being punished for asking him for help? Why am I being punished he wouldn't have even of known what was going on if I didn't tell him

I recognize your restless, irritable, and discontent feelings as being normal considering your background so buck up and see where you are in 30 days. Then 60 days! Until you are truly grateful and have overcome your problem only a zip darned fool would trust you in any way whatsoever!

You are lucky to have the chance to even get on the right path through Good Orderly Direction, so expect this for a year! You want out of the house more? Ask to be taken to AA, and NA meetings! Then you can get out EVERYDAY and maybe twice a day! You really should be around those that can relate, after a 30 day detox period.

That's how it works like it or not. Its not about trust, but recovery, and healing!

You are doing good by doing everything he asks, when he asks. Don't get me wrong there. You don't argue about everything. Also a very good thing. Perhaps you aren't seeing the point I was getting at. And maybe it is a maturity thing. I do remember being your age very vividly... but as an adult... I also can see all the many ways I was mistaken as a teen. And there were many, and its true in most cases. I have the benefit of life experience... something you don't yet. Just like everyone else your age. So don't knock yourself there. This is part of learning to be an adult. It doesn't come to you suddenly all at once. It's a process that takes time.

Sometimes doing the right thing means its going to result in something unpleasant. But that same unpleasant experience helps teach you that you can't do anything you want. You never will get to do anything you want even as an adult.

Now the point I am trying to make... which might be a bit difficult to grasp in its entirety as someone your age. But if you REALLY did. You wouldn't be whining about being stuck in your room after what has only been literally a couple of weeks.

No lets say, you might know that action a + action b = Result c , but its an abstract thing... now if you had a very close friend or family member do the same thing, only they almost died of an overdose, or really went off the deep end with heavy use and because a shell of a human as serious junkies do. OR if you saw someone close to you do this and DIE from it. It becomes something very, very real, and not something someone else told you about.

Or put it in another way you might be able to relate to. If you saw the movie Platoon or Jar-head II. You might see a fairly accurate representation of what its like to be in combat... at least as much as can be expressed on film... but its absolutely NOTHING like someone actually shooting at you when your life can be extinguished at any moment if you do the right thing and even quicker if you don't.

Or express it in another way in something I actually have personally experienced. You see a movie that has some exceptionally realistic gore and graphics... lot a dead burned bodies.. you think oh wow... maybe even EWWWW! but if you ever had to see almost 150 (the exact number is slightly different but I'm avoiding the exact number for a very good personal reason) You were stepping over them when everything was still smoldering... many of them barely recognizable as human if you hadn't seen the teeth, or enough exposed bones in what looks like people shaped charcoal to know otherwise, and the smell that you will never forget as long as you live, that comes back every time you remember the situation... that has you waking up in night sweats at times for years later... knowing that somewhere among them, two were people you had dinner with the night before that were good friends.

You would see the difference from what you THINK you know... and the reality of the situation, are very, very different things.

I hear what you are saying that I don't really understand what could have happened because I've never seen or experienced it for me self. To be honest I don't really see me self as being a junkie or addicted to the pills I was more scared of the things I was doing to get the pills I know taking them was wrong. I really don't know f all I've decided, I'm just going to listen to what me dad says stay in my room and do what ever it is that I need to be doing

THere are a lot of things its going to be difficult to really understand at your age... and other kids will believe the same as you and they will be just as wrong too... because until you do have those extra years, and you do have that extra life epxerience that nobody has while they are still living with their parents. You just won't have the perspective, you will eventually have it. Its all part of maturing. Almost every teenage thinks they have it all figured out... how their parents can't possibly understand because the earth didn't exist xTeen years earlier... (if you understand a bit of my Yankee sarcasm) but give them a few years of having to fully support themselves and pay ALL their own bills, rent, utilities, insurance... everything. Or risk being homeless. Your perspective on everything changes from a fantasy to reality. By your late 20's you will clearly see all the misconceptions nearly every teenager has. Real life is nothing like most teenagers imagine it is. Its certainly not as easy. It might get easy after years of working hard for a few lucky ones... for the rest its going to be a struggle the rest of their lives. Balancing what they want (or even need) with what they can afford at the time. The less responsible you are, the more difficult it will be for anyone. That's a universal statement. Very few people are born to the rich with silver spoons in their mouths. THe rest of us have to work hard for everything. Making the right or wrong decision on anything can mean the difference between being successful and being homeless.

I've been destitute...I've worked extremely hard to get wher I am which is comfortable....and I know it that could change, very , very quickly for the worse....and almost did recently. A lot of luck..and the right choices barely let me get through it. It was more likely to go the wrong way.

If you see my point. I have to do a lot of things I'd rather not HAVE to do....but I do it without complaining because the alternative would be far less pleasant. Plus whining never improved a bad situation, or changed anything for the better. It keeps you from facing what needs to be done and works against you in the long run. Eventually you will learn how to do that. If you join the Military after you graduate ( Graduating is the MOST important thing you can do, many doors are closed to people who don't) You will have many of your bad habits drilled out of you during your service.....and everyone has bad habits. Some just have more than others.

We like to say Grin and bear it in the USA...the British say, Keep a stiff upper lip....

Thanks for the advise. I'm so looking forward to getting older now. I guess I don't have much of a choice but to sit in my room and do as I'm told until my dad thinks I'm ready to be trusted to come out. As we say here I guess I'll just have to harden the f up!

I have heaps on spare time sitting around me room all day any suggestions on something to keep me occupies? I have heaps of school work to do but I can't sit there for hours doing it I need something to break it up a bit

Make yourself useful around the house. Ask for more CHORES.

Heck, don't even ask for more chores, just do what you see needs to be done.

If there are dishes in the sink, do them. If the floor needs vacuumed, vacuum it.

Show your dad that you have matured through this situation by taking action where action needs to be taken, without being asked.

Sounds like a good idea, but do you think it's OK to come out of me room without asking I mean I don't mind I'd love it but he did stay in my room

Then ask him first.

Well that was a waste of time asking me dad if I can help around the house. Basically he said me step mum is busy enough looking after the me little brother she doesn't have enough time to supervise me all day as well. They don't need to watch me all the time it's not like I'm going to do anything. But whatever I didn't argue I'll think of something else

Ask him if there is anything you can do to help him or your stepmother around the house, but actually suggest to them that you take over the hoovering, washing your own clothes, dusting, washing windows, cleaning the bathroom, preparing some simple meals, for example. Point out that someday you will have to take care of yourself, so you might as well start learning how to do things now. Or see if they would like help with yard work, learning how to maintain the car, etc..

In your room you can exercise, write in a journal or write short stories, read, watch television on the computer, do some research online of something that you are interested in, you might find some free courses on a topic of interest that you can do online. Find a forum of people who share an interest and get involved. Or maybe consider finding a forum of people who you know would be a positive influence and get involved online with them. You could start thinking about your future and what career you might want to get into. Find out what is involved for education or training.

Thanks for the advice, I don't think I'll ask him about helping again I don't want to keep on bugging him he'll probably just get more annoyed at me. But the other thing sound great, It will be good to try something else to keep me occupied I get so bored sitting here doing school work.

Seriously how long can he keep me in me room. I'm starting to think he's just keeping me in me room cause he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I'm over it

Then go tell him that

Seriously there is no friggin point talking to me dad I know me step mum don't want me here. I just want to get out of the house then I won't be a problem for me dad. It's been heaps long now

Start doing something for yourself; do you still go to school? You are in the UK, right ? You have been in this muddle for days now and you say there has been no settlement reached between you two??

Seriously there is no friggin point talking to me dad I know me step mum don't want me here. I just want to get out of the house then I won't be a problem for me dad. It's been heaps long now

A month is not that long. I know it feels like forever, but it hasn't been.

Have you looked into support groups or asked your father about attending one?

How are your studies going? Making good grades?

I don't know what happened with your mother to have her send you to live with your father, however, I am beginning to wonder if history might be repeating itself. Have you been as calm and understanding as you think you have been?

As we have said, it is going to take a long time before your father calms down.

I have to agree with Cat.

This may sound harsh, but your mother couldn't handle you so she sent you to your father in hopes that he could. While you paint a pretty picture about being the perfect daughter, it is glaringly apparent to this of us who are parents that you are not. We can tell by your posts alone.

It is time for tough love and your dad is doing just that. In the grand scheme of things one month is nothing considering your drug use and the method you used to obtain those drugs.

If you want some semblance of freedom, you need to face your punishment. Pay the piper so to speak.

Suck it up my young friend, what you did was not only unethical, but illegal. You could be in far worse conditions than this. Consider yourself lucky.

I'm not the perfect daughter I know that but I'm not stupid either. Know if I want him to let me out of my room then I got to behave me self. I've been doing that I've done everything they have wanted me to I haven't argued or complained once I know I come here to complain a lot I'm frustrated but I haven't said anything to either of them I'm not stupid I know that would only make it worse. I've been going to my drug awareness classes and been going to teen challenge to do a programme. I've completed all of my school work given to me and school finishes for the year next week. I get average grades I'm not top of me class but I don't fail anything. As for me mum she sent me here to me dads because I don't like her a$$ of a boyfriend and he doesn't like me and I was rude to him and I'm not sorry at all about that. I just want to get out of me room you try being shut up for this long god I come out to eat shower and toilet. Then 2 times a week I get to leave the house for 2 hours. I'm going friggin mental here. I'm just going to sneak out when he's asleep I'm over it

I highly suggest you fight your rebellious impulses and follow the rules for a change rather than make things worse. You may think the punishment doesn't fit the crime but it really does, and won't end until its ends.

Your behavior got you here, and your behavior will keep you here. Where do you think the consequences of more bad behavior, and breaking the rules, will land you next? Jail??

Bad as it is for you it could be worse. Get with the program!

I doubt I can go to jail for sneaking out. It's not like I'm going to do anything bad I just want to get out of me room go for a walk do something. I don't understand if they think keeping me in me room I will stop me from taking drugs that's funny cause if I wanted to I could have but I don't want to if keeping me in me room is punishment then it sux and me step mum must hate it to seeing she hates having me around.how is keeping me in my room fair

How long were you not being fair?

I get it already I messed up how am I suppose to show them that I've changed by sitting in my room. They are just ignoring me and it hurts he hardly speaks to me I mean he can't still be that mad

You go to school, to drug awareness classes, and to the teen challenge thing. Sounds like you get out. Do you mean get out "for fun"?

Is there any way to reconcile with your stepmum?

I don't go to school not aloud to had to finish year at home. I don't even know what I did wrong to my step mum. I mean just out of my room even in the back yard I'm sick of being stuck in here seriously what can I do in the back yard really. I'm just over it

I am sick of hearing you complaining about this, and almost consider you a TROLL.

This thread should be closed, because quite frrankly, it isn't going no where.

Close it it doesn't matter anyway. I complain too much ill get over it

I am sure you will when you GROW UP

This thread will not be closed because ALL the young dope heads should know what they will face when caught doing drugs and have to pay the consequences! You are lucky to be at home, and not in jail! Keep complaining, who cares since you did this to yourself, and are acting like any dope head who cannot use!

Its part of detoxing and its supposed to be hard, and miserable for the first 30 days, and gets harder after that! Expect a year at least of discipline, and tough love, and you are just getting started on a better path than you were before! I am sure you have been told this already.

Ahmen tal

You can't understand what you did to make your step mother dislike you? You came into her house as a troubled child with a rebellious attitude. Of course she didn't want you in her home to influence her young child.

It's time you realize that you are solely responsible for the position you are in.

You ou could very easily be placed in a juvenile detention center where eyes are on you 24/7. You can't even use the bathroom or take a shower without someone watching you.

You created this drama, now you have to suffer the consequences.

They didn't have to have me it was their idea I didn't even want to come here I was happy where I was. Just because I didn't like me mums boyfriend. I know I'm here because of what I've done I know it's my own fault and I'm doing what I need to to not do it again. I'm just frustrated being stuck in this stupid room my problem ill stop complaining

Start keeping a journal about your experience, thoughts, feelings, etc. It might help you deal with the frustration to write all of this down. With so much free time on your hands, start a blog to help other teens avoid the same mistakes. Teens often listen better to their peers than to others. Put your energy and time to good use.

As has been said so many times, you get out when your father says you get out. Ask him. Ask him what else you can do to earn back his trust and how much longer he thinks you might be staying in your room. Just those two questions... nothing more, no whinging, short and to the point. He may give you a time limit, he may respond, "When I say you can get out", he may say nothing at all, but you will have put the questions out there.

Figure out what you can do with your time that will either benefit you, such as learning some new things, or ways that you can help others.

They took you, because they cared and wanted to try and change your life

If you think this is bad, consider a room the size of your bath room, that you get out of 1 hour a day, to go to a prison yard.

The teen challenge program is one of the best, if you try, but with the attitude you have, it is going to be worthless unless you are trying to change.

And change is not a week or two week, it will take a longer time, for things to get back to a level of normal.

I get that none of you know me and I appreciate the advice but I don't like being called a dope head because I'm not I might of made bad choices but I isn't no dope head Being stuck in me room and being sick of it has nothing to do with not being able to take drugs because I can if I want to I have pills in the house and I could have took them if I wanted to its not even about that. If I could get out of me room I would get rid of them. I realise I messed up I get that but how would you like being stuck in a room for ages it ain't nice. Yes me punishment I did it to me self I know. I asked me dad how long am I going to be stuck in me room for till he feels I'm ready to come out is there anything I can do no just stay out the way and behave. Far enough. He didn't take me to try and change my life for the better he took me because he wanted to look good to seem like he cared I wasn't even that bad. You all keep talking about prison I wouldn't have even of gone to prison I've never done any thing bad and if I didn't tell me dad then he wouldn't have know. Pane I told him because I needed help. I wanted to stop not be locked away

Maybe you were not a full blown dopehead YET, but you were headed that way, and you get credit for wanting to stop and knowing you needed help to do so. Well you got that help, and you should accept and embrace it.

Unfortunately it takes more than good intentions to help you, and only a FOOL that didn't care would trust the good intentions of a troubled future full blown DOPE HEAD! (Like being a half a dope head is any better)

Trust me, soon you will stop denying the full gravity of your bad choices, and decisions, and the effects it has on not just you, but the people around you. Go ahead, keep thinking its all about you, and what YOU want, when its NOT! When you can see beyond just what you want, and the devastation you have caused others you may be ready for the NEXT step. There are many you must take.

Until then do as you are told and get with the program, and start being grateful you have been given a chance to avoid the future of most dope heads... JAILS, INSTITUTIONS, and DEATH... for now any way!

And you are wrong about NOT knowing you. We have seen many like you before, wanting help, but wanting the easy way out, YOUR way. It NEVER works YOUR way, so try this way. If you could have cleaned up you act without help you would have right?

Good intentions are never enough, you NEED good orderly direction and that's what you will get when you stop complaining about what you want. LOL, you aren't even locked up, just restricted, for your own good.

Your right I did ask for help I couldn't do it by myself. I know me dad is doing everything he can for me and I'm just being selfish worrying about being locked in me room. Obviously you all seem to think I'm where I belong so I should just suck it up. I'm not going to complain anymore I'm going to work on being a better person and thinking about other people instead of just myself. Thought about it heaps and I couldn't make the right choice and I should just believe that me dad is making the right choices for me even if I don't like them. Think I've been told like a million time by all of you so I'm going to stop being a baby and listen. Thank you all for the advise its been helpful I know I don't seem like I listen but sometimes I just don't take it in straight away. So I'll stop bothering you all now.

No. Don't stop bothering us! We'll try to help you be sane, and you tell us the positive ways you are filling your time.

Yah me dad is finally letting me out me room. Freedom can't wait to leave me room.

Glad to hear it! Think of it as a fresh start.

Now that you've had loads of time to reflect on all that has happened, I hope you have given some thought to what you might do differently from now on, from the friends that you choose to hang around with, to what your future goals may be and how what you do now can potentially impact what you want to do in the future. Good luck!

I feel so stupid right now seems like every choice I make is always the wrong one. I totally screw everything up. Me dad let's me out of my room and let's me leave the house and I messed up. I'm so stupid. If I was me dad I would want to send me away to.

Sorry to hear that. What did you do?

How did you mess up?

Some of the kids that I'm in a program with we're going out and they asked me if I wanted to come along. I don't have anyone to hang out with so I was excited to me dad said no though. I went anyway waited for him to go to sleep and climbed out the window. We went to a party and were all drinking me and this boy were messing around and he was chasing me and I must have tripped or something and hurt my leg I couldn't walk on it so one of me friends took me to the hospital. They rang me dad and now everything is a mess I feel so stupid don't know why I keep making these stupid decisions. Now dad is talking about sending me to boarding school in the new year

I think you belong in boarding school. You just don't seem to get it, in spite of all the good advice you have had here, and THE SUPPORT.

Give your dad a rest and get on with it. It might work out well in the long run, and you may learn a lot, but you have learned nothing here.

This was why your dad did not trust you, why you were not ready to be off punishment. Maybe boarding school will be good for you.

Maybe it would be better for me dad if I wasn't in the house any more. I just wanted to have some friends I know I should have not gone out cause me dad said no but I didn't want to seem like a I don't know I just wanted to fit in I suppose. I don't like being by me self all the time. Maybe boarding school will be good don't suppose I can get into much trouble their. Guess I'll just have to see 6 weeks till school goes back, I guess I'll be stuck in me room again not like it matters anyway can't really walk in this stupid moon boot. So stupid don't know what's wrong with me

I don't know if boarding school will help or hurt. I do know that you need healthier ways to make new friends and to change your definition of 'fitting in'. Home or away, you will repeat the same mistakes as long as you continue to think that drugs and/or alcohol is how you make/keep friends.

I am going to be honest that this was a major mess-up. I don't know what will happen in six weeks but take care of your leg and try to find positive/productive ways to relieve your stress.

It's hard where I come from that's what most kids do on weekends drink go out to parties. When I lived with me mum I use to play lots of sports hockey basketball athletics but here no one does that so I just do what everyone else does. It's not easy moving away from all my friends I grew up with. I know it was pretty dumb sneaking out and I felt pretty bad about doing it but then I suppose I just kind of forgot about it cause I was having fun until I hurt me self. I really wish me mum would let me go back home but me and her boyfriend don't get along, which was my fault. Just sick of messing everything up :(

You need to be locked up in jail, sent to a strict no nonsense rehab facility, or a psych ward! How about telling your dad to read this?

We are talking major intervention!

I snuck out man seriously why do I need to go to jail for that I only had a few drinks I didn't take drugs I just went out when I wasn't aloud to which was dumb. But I'm not totally stupid I know if I take drugs ill get busted when I have a drug test. I just don't want to be a total loner

You're not legally allowed to drink, so you broke the law. You could be charged for underage drinking, spend some time in jail and get a fine for doing that.

Alcohol is a drug, so yes, you did do drugs.

Just because everyone else is doing something, doesn't mean you have to do it. If they're not your friends because you won't sneak out and get drunk with them, then you don't need them.

Until you start realizing that everything you do has a consequence, you need to be locked up, be it in your room, boarding school, or jail. It's obvious that you can't be trusted to make good decisions on your own.

I know I don't make good choices me leg is friggin so painful and they won't even let me take anything for the pain so I know all about consequences. God I'm so stupid way to go mess up me whole life just can't seem to do anything right. No wonder why me dad hates me definitely do nothing but cause him trouble. Anyway me problem Im just going to leave they don't need me causing trouble for them

Stop the pity party. You made your choices, and your mom and dad had to make decisions based on the choices you made and continue to make. They're doing the best they can to get you on the right track, with no help from you.

Your dad doesn't hate you, he just has no idea what to do to help you. He's only human. He's tried, and you still go out and do stupid things. What is he supposed to do now?

You started this thread asking how to get your dad to trust you again. Well, you've done nothing but make him trust you even less. Until you get your act together, start thinking, stop doing stupid things, you won't regain his trust. You're at the bottom again. Any headway you made was lost when you snuck out and went drinking with friends.

Whatever he decides, you do it, and you do it with a smile on your face, and determination to stay clean, to be good, to do the right thing and stop making bad choices.

Hopefully he can get through to you before you're an adult and he no longer has any say in how you live your life, because I have to tell you kiddo, you don't make good decisions, and if you keep that up your adult life will be far worse than your teen life is now.

Smarten up. Realize that your dad loves you, so does your mom, they're just lost on how to help you, and you won't help them help you at all.

I give up.

I don't want me parents to be disappointed in me I want to be able to make good choices as me dad puts it. I don't know why I keep doing stupid things I guess I just want to have friends but the more I think about it the worse I fell Im not really thinking of what I'm putting me dad through or what I put me mum through just thinking about me self. Totally not fair on them. I guess I just need to stop being selfish and think about them I know they are trying to help me but when they say stuff to me I just think they are being unfair and then I do it anyway and realise they were right. I know I don't know nothing and that's why I should listen to them. I do want to do the right thing I just don't know what is the right thing until its to late

I know I got it pretty easy stuff I've done not to proud of and me parents still are here for me haven't just given up about time I stop worrying about having no friends and worry about the rest of me life need to grow up a little. Think I'll just give up trying to think I know what's best for me and listen to me dad.

And you've said this before. Why should we believe you this time?

This is really getting tiring. I truly feel sorry for your family.

You don't care. You are probably at home laughing at us wasting our time on you and your little pity party.

You need some serious counseling before your family finds you dead.

Im done wasting my time on you. It's obvious you don't care about your father or yourself. At this rate it won't be long before you find yourself living on the streets prostituting yourself just to live.

I don't expect anyone to believe me I know I've totally wasted everyone's time here giving me advice and just not doing it anyway. Your right there is no point in it anymore. When I do thing I don't really seem to care until I get in trouble and I know if I didn't hurt me self and got away with it I wouldn't have cared. Time to do this on me own stop bothering other people with me selfish problems. And just so you know I'm not sitting at home laughing I do really feel bad about everything, you all took time out to give me advice that I didn't even do, and I have put my family through a lot and I know I've said it before and I don't expect anyone to believe me but I am tired of being this person and I know I need to get my act together. Stop making excuse for the way I act.

You aren't tired of acting out or you would have not snuck out. You are only tired of it because you got caught.

Stop with the pity party already, we aren't falling for it. Every person answering your threads has raised children. We are all old enough to be your parents or your grandparents.

You don't deserve access to the internet, you don't deserve freedom in any way, shape or form. You act like a spoiled, self-entitled brat. What you deserve is to be locked up in a rehab, or jail, for at least 3 months. You are a very troubled child. I feel sorry for your parents.

I'm trying not to take offence of what your saying because I know your probably right. I didn't sneak out though just to cause trouble I just really wanted to have some friends stupid now I know. I could make a million excuse for why I did it but what's the point I made a stupid choice. I messed up big time and I don't ever expect me dad to trust me again and I think him sending me to boarding school will be best. I think jail is a bit harsh for just sneaking out or rehab. I know heaps of kids who do worse stuff than me.

What makes you think boarding school will change you? It won't. Not until you are ready to change, and clearly you aren't.

Stop with the excuses already. You are only claiming you made stupid choices because you were caught. You wouldn't be saying that if you weren't busted out.

You aren't going to change because you don't want to. I've heard it all before... "Poor poor me. Daddy is mean to me because (insert your problem here)." Well guess what princess, you make your bed, you lie in it. That basically means you get what you deserve. So stop your whining.

Do you need some cheese to go with that whine? Suck it up buttercup. You reap what you sow.

Omg seriously now I'm having a laugh is that really what I sound like god. I don't think boarding school will change me but how much trouble can I get in being in the bush really. Maybe your right if I didn't get caught I wouldn't care probably keep on doing it but I did and I do feel bad not cause I got caught but for all the stuff I put me dad and step mum and mum through. I don't do drugs anymore I have already changed from how I use to be what more do they want from me what am I suppose to be like

You don't use drugs? Alcohol is a drug.

This thread is now closed. When you are ready to take responsibility for your actions please come back. Until then, stop whining because you refuse to improve yourself and blame your father for your punishment.

You will go nowhere until you accept what you have become, a dope head, and are out of control! Laugh all you want but you are in denial! Typical for a dope head! Lol, a dumb one that doesn't know alcohol is dope, just liquid!

Wake up why dontcha!