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Dukeofpasta
Nov 2, 2014, 09:27 AM
This girl I met at a party became unusually interested in me. We started talking and went out on a date, but sometimes she seems very clingy a lot of the time.

I recently discovered her last boyfriend was emotionally and physically abusive and raped her. She seems over the trauma part of it, but says she feels worthless, no man will love her because of it, and doesn't deserve to live. I asked her if she would go to a therapist and apparently I'm one of if not the only of a small amount of people she's told about this. I cannot tell anyone, but she said she 'told on him' and feels bad about it. That she deserved the beatings. I don't know if he's in jail or not. He beat her when she did anything he didn't like and repeatedly told her she was worthless, that no other man would take her, stuff like that.I tell her she's beautiful every day, but she never believes me. She refuses to tell her parents or go to a therapist, so I stopped pushing it at all.

I do not want her feeling dependent on me because I want her to be happy with herself. Don't get me wrong, I like this girl a lot and my opinion of her did not lower because she was raped. But I don't want to be a band-aid on this wound.

J_9
Nov 2, 2014, 09:35 AM
How old are the two of you?

Dukeofpasta
Nov 2, 2014, 09:47 AM
15. She was with her ex for two years, two months ago.

talaniman
Nov 2, 2014, 11:08 AM
So young! Can't you just have fun dating because you like her? If you are the same age as she is, and her past makes no difference then what's the problem? Why are you making this such a big deal when all you have to do is be honest, and have fun, not try to fix her, or even help her since you don't know how anyway?!

smoothy
Nov 2, 2014, 12:06 PM
You are 15, enjoy the present... statistics prove even if you DO date her now... there is very little chance you will still be together in a few short years anyway. Hell you just met her....its years too soon to be planning out a life together anyway.

Oliver2011
Nov 3, 2014, 06:39 AM
"but says she feels worthless, no man will love her because of it, and doesn't deserve to live."

Rarely when someone starts a relationship with this much drama, true or not true, drama tends to always be there. Enjoy your teenage years and have fun with friends.

J_9
Nov 3, 2014, 06:44 AM
15! Holy moly! You are way too young to get in a serious relationship with someone who has so much baggage. You can't be her savior, your young mind is unprepared to deal with someone so complicated. Keep it friendly, but don't get too involved.

Fr_Chuck
Nov 3, 2014, 07:22 AM
She needs to tell her parents if she has not, and she needs to get into counseling.

If she believes she deserves it, there can be good chance she will even go back to him. Be a friend but she needs professonal help