I am a fourteen year old boy who is very privileged, I am always at the top of my class but my parents never seem to be satisfied. My mom overreacts about everything and my dad is the only one who I feel understands me but lately none of them have been understanding. All through my life I have always done something wrong nno matter how good life is going, I always find a way to mess it up. I started drinking as I was looking for an escape from my life of order and now my parents found out, I am banned from using my phone and right now I think why am I here if I cause so much strife in my family?

Why are you here, as in alive?
We humans do need love as children, that's for sure. I grew up feeling unloved (heck, despised) by my mother and loved in a distant way by my father, so possibly similar. Maybe not 'privileged' but that's not even important. I actually blamed my father for not stepping in between my mother and all 3 of us kids, but years later I realized that a gentle sweet person comes as is, and we can't expect them to be something different. That's true of anyone of course.
The way to feel like life is worth living is to decide who you are independent of your mother. Easy for me to say (not)! It may be a lifelong process. You may find an area of academic study that gives you identity, or art/music/dance/writing, or a way to start your own business. If you can be your own person, you can replace the feelings of worthlessness that come from Never Being Good Enough.
Meanwhile, how do you get through the next few years at home? By planning. What do you see yourself doing in 4 years? I would guess college. That means keeping your grades good for YOU, not for your parents. Not easy to separate the two, but it really is true - it's for you. And what ways do you avoid tension around home? I used to hide and read, but that was before computers and our own phones. How about a talent - photography, woodworking, being an expert on whales? I'm old now but love all that's going on with drones and cameras. I want a drone that can self-navigate through the forest behind my house, and videotape the wildlife. Doesn't exist yet! Do you ever feel like an inventor?

Taking away your phone as punishment for drinking is PRETTY DAMN MILD. Ask to sit down with your parents after dinner and talk about how you can prove that you are responsible. Extra chores without being told might be a good start, and don't expect instant gratification. Hard ones, like scrubbing around the baseboards in the kitchen, behind the toilet, weeding around the house, the awful chores I'll bet your parents do. If they have hired help, use your good brains to think of something. Also, et them know that you feel like no matter how good your grades are, you feel like you are never good enough, and ask is there some way to be less of a project to show off to relatives. But keep that short and no whining! Mainly you are making up for the serious matter of drinking. All kinds of dangerous things happen when we are drunk, and parents are 100% liable for anything you do. 14 is old enough to show plenty of maturity in how to handle this in a way that is good for all of you. You could also ask your father if the two of you could go somewhere together, and just talk. I never did that as a kid. I guess we see our parents as one person in a way.

Childhood is a tug of war between growing into your own person vs being beholden to your parents, who not only support you and have a right to certain expectations, but also are legally responsible for you.

Thank you for your response maybe we can talk in messages?

No, it's good for you to talk openly here, because half the reason for this site is for YOU to be helpful to others like you who will read what you say. You are anonymous, so no worries there.

Maybe your parents have reason to worry about you, if you've ended up drinking at age 14, there are more problems here that can't be only the fault of your parents.

14 is a tough age, and growth in all areas- emotional, physical, psychological, hormonal, moods, highs and lows, are all part of a nasty picture, that all teens live through to some extent. You aren't the only one who thought, because of your immaturity, that drinking, drugs, sex, self-harm, etc. are all caused by, parents.

At some point, when parents no longer feel the need to be controlling, and instead, you've earned their trust with control over your own actions- temper, moods, blaming others, drinking, etc. they will let up a bit. At this stage of your life, you lack the life experience of someone even a few years older, who is better able to regulate their emotions, and reason why things are the way they are, and, change things in a positive way.

For example, if you feel that your parents are not as supportive or understanding, there are many things you can do, to express that. If you try, they will acknowledge a little leap in the maturity direction, and you may very well realize that what you thought was true- their lack of understanding for example, wasn't all their fault after all.

Try communicating- also a good sign toward finding more common ground and respect between you and your parents. Ask them, even by email or text, to sit and talk with you at the kitchen table, next Friday night at 8 p.m. Make a list to include what you have said in your post, and add to that, as specifically as you can, and go through things, one at a time. You may not get through the list this time, but maybe the following week you can pick up where you left off.

Learn to accept the concept that sometimes you just have to agree, to disagree, on some points. That is where compromise comes in. On both sides.

Discussions are very different from making demands, or arguing, yelling screaming, throwing things, name calling, and a 'my way or the highway' thinking. Anything you do by way of a threat- you'll leave home- will only shut down the discussion, and prove that you are not mature enough to be able to express yourself. Then you're back to square one.

Get a diary, and start writing out specific things that make you say, "they are not supportive" as a heading, and then put your examples down. Make another heading for "they are critical of everything I do", and write down the specific examples. See if you can't learn from your own words and descriptions where problems might be. For example, they were after me for a week to cut the grass, and I did it in half the time, and they were critical of how it looked. You may realize that you were making a point- didn't want to cut the grass- and it showed. But, it was negative and immature.

I'm sure you can come up with examples on your own, that, when you are angry or getting stressed out, you do things to get back at them. Maybe leave blobs of toothpaste in the sink.

Bottom line- take the next step, and instead of complaining, and blaming your parents for all that is wrong in your life, talk to them. Negotiate. Be considerate and understanding. Do things without being hounded. Be more pleasant, and when you are feeling yourself getting really angry and miserable, force yourself to get out your diary, and write it out. Best to deal with it, than let things pile up until you explode- or hit the bottle, or worse.