CravenMorhead
Oct 9, 2014, 07:44 AM
Yesterday afternoon for no reason that I can fathom I went from suddenly blah to content and even happy. The reason for this is that I don't know why and it is confusing me.
A bit of history. My wife and I are living through those years that we will nostalgicly refer to as "Those hard years at the beginning". We've got a toddler (15mo), a baby on the way (14wks), a year old puppy, and two-three month kitten. We've had a few huge expenses and one waiting in the wings. We had a dishwasher go, the clutch on a old xterra go, my newer ford has a bad (assumed) bearing, and we're living tight in a budget. We can live and survive but not much money for extras. There has been a lot of stress over the last two years and it has had an effect on things. My wife and I are strong and smart enough to talk things through and work it all through. We were besties for 10+ years before we were married so we both know each other well. There is stress and there will always be stress, we know this and we're both stubborn enough to work things through.
I am borderline OCD. I am the historical intrusive thoughts variety. There are moments in my day where my brain will just insert itself into whatever I am doing and go, "Remember this embarrassing this that happen a bajillion years ago? You suck. How could you have done that? Think of what people would think of you..." I have accepted that these events happened and there is nothing that I can do to change them. I have held myself up to an impossibly high standard and have had to lower my expectations and forgive myself for my daily trespasses. I have the coping mechanisms that allow me to successfully deal with these events.
It is like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I don't what the weight or stress was. I suppose I am looking for general reasons I could be suddenly feel like this that don't involve a tumour. Quoth the Governator: "It's not a tumour!"
A bit of history. My wife and I are living through those years that we will nostalgicly refer to as "Those hard years at the beginning". We've got a toddler (15mo), a baby on the way (14wks), a year old puppy, and two-three month kitten. We've had a few huge expenses and one waiting in the wings. We had a dishwasher go, the clutch on a old xterra go, my newer ford has a bad (assumed) bearing, and we're living tight in a budget. We can live and survive but not much money for extras. There has been a lot of stress over the last two years and it has had an effect on things. My wife and I are strong and smart enough to talk things through and work it all through. We were besties for 10+ years before we were married so we both know each other well. There is stress and there will always be stress, we know this and we're both stubborn enough to work things through.
I am borderline OCD. I am the historical intrusive thoughts variety. There are moments in my day where my brain will just insert itself into whatever I am doing and go, "Remember this embarrassing this that happen a bajillion years ago? You suck. How could you have done that? Think of what people would think of you..." I have accepted that these events happened and there is nothing that I can do to change them. I have held myself up to an impossibly high standard and have had to lower my expectations and forgive myself for my daily trespasses. I have the coping mechanisms that allow me to successfully deal with these events.
It is like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I don't what the weight or stress was. I suppose I am looking for general reasons I could be suddenly feel like this that don't involve a tumour. Quoth the Governator: "It's not a tumour!"