mimi12310
Oct 2, 2014, 07:19 AM
I have a problem with my bf's dad. I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 yrs now and I've always heard him bash on his dad. It took me at least a yr to understand their relationship because my boyfriend was too embarrassed to share it with me. Anyway, my bf's dad is quite arrogant and he's always trying to put his son down. My bf's told me that he's never introduced any of his past gfs to his father because he was too embarrassed to. When I met his father for the first time, he was very nice to me and to my boyfriend, but after that first meeting, I realized that my boyfriend was right about him.
He's always trying to bring his son down and mocks him in sarcastic ways. For instance, I recently friended his dad on fb because he insisted, even though my boyfriend didn't want me to, but I finally got his permission (it was getting to the point where I felt like I was being rude to his dad). Anyway, I had a small conversation with his dad and I told him that I think his son is really awesome. This was his response: "Yeah he's awesome all right....some people look at a jackass and think that's awesome to" I don't know how to respond to him hating on my boyfriend like this. I respect both of them a lot, but I boyfriend just doesn't have the patience for his dad anymore.
His dad is divorced and has never married. He's living with someone else right now, who I think is just their because of his money. Anyways, recently him and my boyfriend had a huge fight over something and his father reached out to see if I could help. Even though he is always rude to his son, he talks to me a lot of respect. I didn't want to be rude to him, so I gave him my number. We had a very normal conversation about the issue they were having. I tried my best to explain things to my boyfriend, but eventually, I had to let him know that I talked to his dad about the issue they were fighting over, but here's my bigger problem: my boyfriend is now mad at me because his father has my number and every time him and his father argue, his father is going to give me a call.
My bf's mad because he warned me not to interact with his father through fb, texting, or calling, but I was too dumb to listen to him. He's also very mad because he can't stop thinking about his father hating on him to me behind his back. I literally begged him for a yr to let me accept his father's friend request on fb and now his father has my number.The issue that I discussed with his father is still not resolved and his father has already texted me to ask if I can talk to him about it some more, to which I couldn't do anything but agree.
The bottom line is that I have a lot of respect for both of them, but no matter whose side I take, I will be disrespecting one of them. I don't want my boyfriend to think that I'm listening to his father disrespect him behind his back. At the same time, I know that I can't change the way they are with each other, because they've always been like this with each other and probably always will be. I also can't completely shut my communication with his father now, because he may be my future father-in-law, regardless of how he is.
What can I do now? I'm thinking that the best thing to do is let his father know that as much as I'm willing to help him get through to his son, I don't want to be "the negotiator" between them because it will always end up hurting me. What do you guys think? Can anyone please help me out with this. Thank you so much!!
He's always trying to bring his son down and mocks him in sarcastic ways. For instance, I recently friended his dad on fb because he insisted, even though my boyfriend didn't want me to, but I finally got his permission (it was getting to the point where I felt like I was being rude to his dad). Anyway, I had a small conversation with his dad and I told him that I think his son is really awesome. This was his response: "Yeah he's awesome all right....some people look at a jackass and think that's awesome to" I don't know how to respond to him hating on my boyfriend like this. I respect both of them a lot, but I boyfriend just doesn't have the patience for his dad anymore.
His dad is divorced and has never married. He's living with someone else right now, who I think is just their because of his money. Anyways, recently him and my boyfriend had a huge fight over something and his father reached out to see if I could help. Even though he is always rude to his son, he talks to me a lot of respect. I didn't want to be rude to him, so I gave him my number. We had a very normal conversation about the issue they were having. I tried my best to explain things to my boyfriend, but eventually, I had to let him know that I talked to his dad about the issue they were fighting over, but here's my bigger problem: my boyfriend is now mad at me because his father has my number and every time him and his father argue, his father is going to give me a call.
My bf's mad because he warned me not to interact with his father through fb, texting, or calling, but I was too dumb to listen to him. He's also very mad because he can't stop thinking about his father hating on him to me behind his back. I literally begged him for a yr to let me accept his father's friend request on fb and now his father has my number.The issue that I discussed with his father is still not resolved and his father has already texted me to ask if I can talk to him about it some more, to which I couldn't do anything but agree.
The bottom line is that I have a lot of respect for both of them, but no matter whose side I take, I will be disrespecting one of them. I don't want my boyfriend to think that I'm listening to his father disrespect him behind his back. At the same time, I know that I can't change the way they are with each other, because they've always been like this with each other and probably always will be. I also can't completely shut my communication with his father now, because he may be my future father-in-law, regardless of how he is.
What can I do now? I'm thinking that the best thing to do is let his father know that as much as I'm willing to help him get through to his son, I don't want to be "the negotiator" between them because it will always end up hurting me. What do you guys think? Can anyone please help me out with this. Thank you so much!!