Okay, so, there is this girl at work who is super cute, we hung out yesterday and it was really cool. We smoked, chilled, then I asked for her number and she gave me it and left. Anyway today, I texted her just for like a little. We exchanged like 4 texts, but I really want to hang out with her on Friday, but I don't want to seem too desperate and text her like a bunch of days in a row. This girl is like way out of my league, I don't have like low self esteem or anything but I mean, I can tell when someone is out of my league. Anyway, should I ask her to hang out Friday? Neither of us work that day and I don't have plans. Or should I wait? What should I ask? It may seem simple, but my last relationship, my ex said I was too clingy and too nice. Don't want to make the same mistake. Oh and I'm 19 and the girl is 18.

Thanks for any help.

First off, no on is out of anyone's league. That is all this friendzone crap starts. Everyone is in everyone's league, if you think otherwise you'll consign yourself to looking 'in your league' and miss out on something special and possibly hurt many people on the way.

I would ask. There's no harm and the worst she can say is no. You want to spend time with her and it 'isn't a date'.

The other thing is that one person's clingy is another person's distanced. You do the post morteum of your last relationship and figure out if you were too clingy. If you don't think you were then you're fine. It is all about how you grow as a person. It might be that you fall fast and get into things quickly, or she wasn't as into you and you thought you were further along then she did and that's were the difference in perception was.

Regardless that is old news. Just go with confidence. As her to hang.

Ask her in person if she wants to hang out Friday.

Agreed, if she is working, where you do, then she is not out of your league. I assume you may be talking about "looks"

But hanging out, is not a date, (although I think you should ask her out to do something, besides use drugs and sit around)

No, asking someone out, after a few chats is not wrong, it is the correct thing to do

First off, no on is out of anyone's league. That is all this friendzone crap starts. Everyone is in everyone's league, if you think otherwise you'll consign yourself to looking 'in your league' and miss out on something special and possibly hurt many people on the way.

I would ask. There's no harm and the worst she can say is no. You want to spend time with her and it 'isn't a date'.

The other thing is that one person's clingy is another person's distanced. You do the post morteum of your last relationship and figure out if you were too clingy. If you don't think you were then you're fine. It is all about how you grow as a person. It might be that you fall fast and get into things quickly, or she wasn't as into you and you thought you were further along then she did and that's were the difference in perception was.

Regardless that is old news. Just go with confidence. As her to hang.

I guess, she like models though and stuff and I'm good looking, but no model haha. Maybe I was a bit clingy, not like a bunch, but my ex cheated on me so she's kind of a bit ch. But she was my first long term relationship. Should I ask her through text? Tomorrow? I don't want to ask Friday cause she might have plans by then.

Agreed, if she is working, where you do, then she is not out of your league. I assume you may be talking about "looks"

But hanging out, is not a date, (although I think you should ask her out to do something, besides use drugs and sit around)

No, asking someone out, after a few chats is not wrong, it is the correct thing to do
Yea, looks, obviously lol. I don't think anyone is out of my league via socioeconomic status haha.

But should I ask her via text? I went in work on Tuesday for paperwork and ended up talking to her for like an hour then we hung out so I don't want to go in again, on a day I don't work.

Oh goodness, don't text her. That is so tacky and juvenile. If you want to go out with the girl ask in person.

Oh goodness, don't text her. That is so tacky and juvenile. If you want to go out with the girl ask in person.
I already asked her in person though. The first time we hung out. I won't see her again till Saturday unless we hang out.

Well then call her.

Maybe....call her? They used to do such things back in the old days and it usually worked pretty well.

Edit- LOL...Homegirl and I answered at the same time.

What did she say when you asked in person?

Well then call her.


Maybe....call her? They used to do such things back in the old days and it usually worked pretty well.

Edit- LOL...Homegirl and I answered at the same time.
Lol that's awkward. We don't call much. We being my age group.

What did she say when you asked in person?
The first time? Lol "yea".

Either grow some balls and call her... or give up and settle for someone else you aren't afraid to ask.

If its "awkward"... then get ready to spend most of your time alone. Seriously. Ever hear the term Carpe Diem? It means seize the day... the spoils go to those with the balls to go after them... otherwise be happy with the crumbs left behind.

THAT is the rule that governs the world. Sure she might say no......but if you don't ask her, then she's going to end up with a guy thats NOT afraid to ask her, that is a certainty.

Either grow some balls and call her... or give up and settle for someone else you aren't afraid to ask.

If its "awkward"... then get ready to spend most of your time alone. Seriously. Ever hear the term Carpe Diem? It means seize the day... the spoils go to those with the balls to go after them... otherwise be happy with the crumbs left behind.

THAT is the rule that governs the world. Sure she might say no......but if you don't ask her, then she's going to end up with a guy thats NOT afraid to ask her, that is a certainty.

It's awakward whenever I call anyone I know. I hate being on the phone. Do girls prefer you call, rather then text? I didn't think it was that big a deal.

It's awakward whenever I call anyone I know. I hate being on the phone. Do girls prefer you call, rather then text? I didn't think it was that big a deal.

Practice makes perfect... do it a few times and it won't be awkward any more. That's the biggest mistake shy people make... avoiding awkward situations because they aren't comfotable with them.

You force yourself to do it at first... then the fear will be gone soon enough, it will stop being awkward. Do that with all things you are afraid of and eventually you will conquer all your worst fears.

I wasn't always a type "A" person. I was once a quiet and somewhat shy person. I didn't like being the quiet and somewhat shy person. And I set out to change that and did. Through force of will.

I learned in my early 20's why the good guy always finishes last. Its because everyone else learned even earlier, the best things are in limited supply....and like sales at a store....the stock gets sold qickly. Leaving the person that finally rolls in at the end of the day finding empty shelves.

A call is personal. It takes effort.

Ok, so I think we have established that you don't want to call. We have also seemed to get that the younger generation only texts and doesn't actually know how to use the phone feature. Further, you need to contact her somehow before Friday and it will look weird if you go in to work just to do so. Correct?

So you are uncomfortable talking to her in this situation either on phone or in person. You are scared of facing her and being personally rejected. Fine...do something! Even if it's a lame text, do something! At least if you fail, you will be able to know you tried...better than kicking yourself in the as$ for the next 2 years for not trying.

Me? I would call...

Ok, so I think we have established that you don't want to call. We have also seemed to get that the younger generation only texts and doesn't actually know how to use the phone feature. Further, you need to contact her somehow before Friday and it will look weird if you go in to work just to do so. Correct?

So you are uncomfortable talking to her in this situation either on phone or in person. You are scared of facing her and being personally rejected. Fine...do something! Even if it's a lame text, do something! At least if you fail, you will be able to know you tried...better than kicking yourself in the as$ for the next 2 years for not trying.

Me? I would call...

Well, not totally right. I went in and asked her to chill, but on the phone I think it'd be weird. Although it'd be easier for her to say no via text I think.

Calls seem so... idk.

Well... do it your way. Don't be surprised if she ends up dating someone NOT afraid to call her or ask her out. Because if she's a lot better than average looking, someone will, a lot sooner than you think. You won't have anyone to blame but yourself. Trust me...she's NOT going to be sitting around at home alone waiting for you.

Take the easy way out and expect to hear a lot of NO answers. THe lazy guy is not appealing to women that have a good head on their shoulders. Because the Lazy guy works at a low paying job briving a worn out piece of junk....the guy that makes the extra effort at everything works at a high paying job and drives a Mercedes or BMW. Women take notice of who will be a better provider...it takes a lot more than just being a "nice guy", there are a lot of Type "A" people who are nice guys too....some are really nice guys.

Okay, I'll call her tomorrow, sheesh, smoothy. Making me reevaluate my life and .

Smoothy is right...he may be a little harsh about it but he is trying to make you see it how it is.

What if she doesn't like phone calls like me? What if she thinks it's weird? My ex used to think it was weird too.

Okay, I'll call her tomorrow, sheesh, smoothy. Making me reevaluate my life and .


I'm direct..it usually gets people thinking and listening to what I'm saying. I think you really would like to date her... and well, fact is... she's not going to be unattached for long... you don't have forever to do it. Women like a guy that's confident in themselves... notice being confident does not equal being a butthole (though there actually is a special class of women that do go for that type)... if you don't feel good about yourself... she will notice, and its not appealing to most women.

Worst thing that she can say is no. The worst thing that you can do.....is sit around and moan about how you wanted to date her but never got the balls to ask her, then she meets someone else and really hits it off, and you will never know.

Hinting around about it isn't the same as asking. And will get you nowhere.

If she doesn't like it...then she's the weird one.....

I dated dozens of women from a number of countries. I've actually lived in two countries and spend a lot of time in both. I've been married a long time...but if I was the type to do it.....I could pick up lots of single women...EVEN WEARING A WEDDING RING. I've been hit on by women less than half my age more than a few times ....clearly enough there was NO doubt they wanted to....one even said so (she was 20, I'm over 50)....and a LOT more that were more subtle about it. Yes a lady friend (platonic friend) pointed some out asking me how I could be so relaxed and cool about it.

But I have a pretty good wife....some of them were really hot (just being honest), but I was sure none would ever really measure up in the long run with the one I had already. So it was actually pretty easy to do the right thing..


It should be easier for a single guy thats unattached.

I'm direct..it usually gets people thinking and listening to what I'm saying. I think you really would like to date her... and well, fact is... she's not going to be unattached for long... you don't have forever to do it. Women like a guy that's confident in themselves... notice being confident does not equal being a butthole... if you don't feel good about yourself... she will notice, and its not appealing to most women.
Got it. Thanks man, I guess I'll call her and see if she wants to hang out on Friday... maybe haha. I'm confident in person, it's on the phone I run into trouble.
it, I'm gonna call her. The worst that happens is she says no and things get a little weird at work. But even then we could just be friends I guess. I'm pretty sure she's into me though.

Exactly.. the worst she can do is say no. If she does.. it only gets as weird as you let it get. You continue to treat her with respect if she does... be nice to her and you could always remain friends. I'm still friends with several I wanted to date, but didn't want to take it to the next level. What happens then is all in how you handle it. It doesn't HAVE to be an all or nothing situation.

Exactly.. the worst she can do is say no. If she does.. it only gets as weird as you let it get. You continue to treat her with respect if she does... be nice to her and you could always remain friends. I'm still friends with several I wanted to date, but didn't want to take it to the next level. What happens then is all in how you handle it. It doesn't HAVE to be an all or nothing situation.
Right on, man. Thanks.