So there's this girl, (Let's call her Red) and she was one of the 1st people I told I was bi. She asked me out, (she's gay,) and I said no. My reasoning is that people who date in high school tend to not to be able to maintain that relationship afterword. What I didn't anticipate, was how much I wished I had said yes. To have her hold me, and love me, and that I could do the same.

I was a wreck for weeks, then she got a girlfriend. Then I was nothing, like the wreck exploded. I started having random "Attacks" where I couldn't breathe. Sometimes it feels like some one stabbing me in the chest. And all I really want to do is vomit when I think of her, like that might make the feeling slow compression go away. (I am in very good physical condition so please don't blame the attacks on an illness or something of that sort.) Just everything just reminds me of how lonely I am. And today I saw her pretty girlfriend. She is just the type Red would go for. I doubt she ever really loved an ugly little freak like me.

Today she talked to me and all I could think of was how she smelled, that may sound weird to most, but someone out there will understand.

*Someone pointed out I didn't exactly ask a question. I honestly don't know precisely what I want but I guess I have three questions:
1)Am I being stupid/silly?
2)What would you do?
3)Should I tell her how I feel? Or would that.... just be not appropriate?

I'm sorry to hear how sad you are about this.

Exactly what advice do you want? You don't actually ask a question, so if you could be clear what your question is, that would really help us give you advice.

How old are you? You do seem to need some help managing your feelings, and low self esteem, because there is no need to let regret and frustration turn into anger at yourself. But you do have to get over this by having a life that you enjoy without her with friends, family, and activities to balance and vent those feeling in positive ways.

Having a good friend goes a long way when you have to go through a tough patch in your life. Then you won't feel so alone. So make some friends??

'And today I saw her pretty girlfriend. She is just the type Red would go for. I doubt she ever really loved an ugly little freak like me.'

Now stop that - she asked you out and you turned her down, and that makes you an ugly little freak? This is a lot of teen angst and drama. Not only that, but how can you even begin to talk about whether she 'loved' you or not, when you haven't even been in a relationship?

Sure, tell her sometime why you wouldn't go out. It might be nice for her to hear why she was turned down, which generally does hurt feelings.

You are right about high school relationships not lasting. That's a mature thing to say. The rest is immature. But that's OK. Who among us was mature in high school? Not I.

She asked you out, you said no, so she asked other people out, that is how dating works.

And it was a date. And yes, most high school dating does not last, but if you don't date in high school, you don't learn, a lot of lessons, don't learn how to handle relationships.

You date, to have fun

She asked you on one date, not to have sex, not to hold, just a date, the rest comes after a lot of dating,