Mwme15
Sep 20, 2014, 12:55 PM
So after 11 months I broke up with this person who I love so dearly. He was such a beautiful person when we first met and for the first few months of being together. After a while his true colors started to show. He is bipolar. He would get angry at me for how I looked. He was extremely insecure in his appearance (even though he is quite attractive) and couldn't believe that I was attracted to him. He was honestly more insecure than me and I'm the girl! I was constantly having to reassure him in everything which was exhausting.
Trust was something that didn't exist. He never trusted that I was faithful even though I was the epitome of it. I deleted all my guy friends on Facebook and when guys tried talking to me I would turn them away telling them that my boyfriend wouldn't like it if we talked like this. I did this because he asked me to as well as to sell some of my clothing. It was never enough to please him. He also questioned how happy I was to be around him. If I wasn't jumping up and down peeing myself when we saw each other he would say that I don't express myself well enough and that he can't tell if I'm actually happy to be around him. I was quite happy when we were around each other.
When we fought mean words would come out of his mouth like slut and. I feel so hurt by him but I love the person he used to be sooooo much. The memories of how he used to treat me flood my mind. He used to write poetry and sing to him. I got nightmares and he would stay up until 4 helping me calm down. All that is gone. His affection stopped. He no longer apologized and acted like he wanted to get better. He actually started seeing someone for his bipolar but by that time he was already losing interest in me. We were both just so worn down from the fighting that we stopped being so close. He told me sometimes that he didn't want to be here anymore.
I took this very hard. I felt like I was the only one who ever tried fixing things. He attacked who I was constantly and I was just tired of it. I told him I was done. He said he hated me and that I didn't know him and lots of other mean things until I just ignored him. We haven't talked for a week but I messaged him last night. I'm the kind of person who gets over things with a snap of the finger. I don't hold grudges and I can't seem to stop wanting him no matter what he does or says to me.
I guess what I'm asking for is reassurance that I did the right thing and to not go back. Was there anything that I could have done to save us?
Trust was something that didn't exist. He never trusted that I was faithful even though I was the epitome of it. I deleted all my guy friends on Facebook and when guys tried talking to me I would turn them away telling them that my boyfriend wouldn't like it if we talked like this. I did this because he asked me to as well as to sell some of my clothing. It was never enough to please him. He also questioned how happy I was to be around him. If I wasn't jumping up and down peeing myself when we saw each other he would say that I don't express myself well enough and that he can't tell if I'm actually happy to be around him. I was quite happy when we were around each other.
When we fought mean words would come out of his mouth like slut and. I feel so hurt by him but I love the person he used to be sooooo much. The memories of how he used to treat me flood my mind. He used to write poetry and sing to him. I got nightmares and he would stay up until 4 helping me calm down. All that is gone. His affection stopped. He no longer apologized and acted like he wanted to get better. He actually started seeing someone for his bipolar but by that time he was already losing interest in me. We were both just so worn down from the fighting that we stopped being so close. He told me sometimes that he didn't want to be here anymore.
I took this very hard. I felt like I was the only one who ever tried fixing things. He attacked who I was constantly and I was just tired of it. I told him I was done. He said he hated me and that I didn't know him and lots of other mean things until I just ignored him. We haven't talked for a week but I messaged him last night. I'm the kind of person who gets over things with a snap of the finger. I don't hold grudges and I can't seem to stop wanting him no matter what he does or says to me.
I guess what I'm asking for is reassurance that I did the right thing and to not go back. Was there anything that I could have done to save us?