My mom is depressed. I want to help her but I don't know how. I'm only 12. She's depressed that she has no friends and she feels unloved in this world and has told me a zillion times growing up how much she wants to jump out the window of our apartment or buy drugs and suicide by overdosing. However, my mom is not unloved. Me being her only daughter loves my mom a lot. I tell her I love her and care about her all the time but it doesn't help. I'm pretty much the only person there for her and she always told me that her life is not worth living.

My mom and my dad don't even talk to each other. They aren't divorced because of me but if I didn't exist they would be divorced. They just can't because then I wouldn't be able to have a normal life without both my parents around. I swear, the only thing my parents say to each other is: "is this enough for dinner" which is asked by my mom. In fact, our family doesn't sit together as a family like normal families do. I sit downstairs in the kitchen by myself. My dad eats in his room in front of the computer with his door locked. My mom does the same as my dad but her room. My parents only spend their time on the computers with their door locked and they don't really talk to me or each other. I don't remember a time where we sat together as a family. All 3 of us are separate. We don't act like a family. We NEVER spend time together. We all go our separate ways even though we are in the same house.

When my mom was little she told me she was being abused physically and emotionally by her parents and her sister and brother. I feel really bad for my mom. My mom has not spoken to her own family in 26 years since she came to the US here and that's why I have never met, seen, spoken to my family on my mom's side. I don't know what they are like they are strangers to me? Isn't it weird to say you've never met your family members before? Well that's what I'm like. I don't know them.

So there you see, my mom only has me. I feel bad because she is not happy with her husband, she has no relationship with her family and all she does everyday is stay in her room. I'm the only one on earth who cares about her. My mom really wants to commit suicide and everyday I am TERRIFIED to go to school. Most kids who are scared to go to school are scared of being bullied. Me on the other hand is because I'm scared my mom will do something bad to herself while I'm gone. My mom cuts herself. She told me when I was a baby at 5 weeks she attempted suicide but failed. Imagine losing your mother to suicide when you were only 5 weeks old. But yeah she has so many scars on her wrist from cutting. I don't know what to do to make her happy.

3 weeks ago she started to go through deep depression and has not said one word to me at all. She refuses to get help. I tried everything because I care about my mom. She is not talking to me and I don't know what to do! I'm sick of being scared to go to school because my mom may physically harm herself while she is home alone. What can I do to help my mom? And sorry this is long.

This is difficult to say, because I know it will be difficult for you to understand at your age, but, the actions of your mother, your father, and the way they choose to live their lives as you've described, is not within your control to change.

For as long as you have been on this earth, and likely before you were born, your mother has had serious mental health issues. It is likely that those issues have caused, at least in part, her distance from her own family; could they too have faced what you face every day? Your mother decided to distance herself from them, because maybe they too, wanted her to get help, and she simply didn't want to.

Withdrawal is not uncommon with people who have issues like your mother. But where does that leave you? Stuck with her distance, and threats of suicide, that go back 12 years, to just after you were born. Maybe it is the same for your dad, although it would be nice if he could be there for you to ease this burden you carry.

Because you cannot change anything about your life at home, or change anything about your parents behavior, I hope that my advice will help you cope, and gain some insight, and perhaps some coping skills. Please seek help with the school counselor, if there is one, or a trusted teacher who can refer you for counseling. Maybe a third option might be to speak with your family doctor.

It is important for you to share your thoughts and feelings, as you have here, with a professional, face to face. To share this burden, is to lessen how you are feeling now, and how you will feel better as time goes on. So many kids face life at home, under impossible circumstances, and without some guidance and support, suffer more than they should. As teens, and young adults and then parents themselves, struggle with life, when they shouldn't have had to. Parenting is very crucial to a child's development, in order to lead well adjusted, happy lives.

Please try to think of your needs here, and make that a priority. Speak to someone who can help you, and keep talking, and asking questions, and getting good advice and guidance in how to cope with life at home. It is unhealthy for you to be on your own with what you face every day, and worry continuously about your mother actually coming good with her suicide attempts.

You already know that your parents both need help and that they are not doing their jobs as parents.

As was said, share this information with a trusted teacher, school counselor, parent of a good friend, or a relative on your father's side. If you have to, tell more than one of them to get someone to act on your behalf.

You may have a lot of changes in your family, and it can seem scary, but you sound smart enough to understand that sometimes you have to share family information to get the help needed for the people that you love.

When you have a trusted adult helping you through it, you won't have to feel like it is all up to you.

This is not something a child should have to deal with. I'm so sorry that your parents have put you in this position.

Your mom needs help, but only she can make the choice to get it. There are many things available to help with depression. Counseling, medication, a combination of both. You can't provide those things for your mom.

I would talk to a school counselor, tell him/her the situation at home, your fears, your concerns. You need to tell an adult that can actually do something to help.

I hate to say this, but judging by your post, you shouldn't even be in that home. This is way too much for a person your age to have to deal with. Your parents are the adults, they should be the ones worrying about you, not the other way around. Shame on them both!

'They aren't divorced because of me but if I didn't exist they would be divorced.'

That's what I said my whole young life with my parents. Except I had a brother and sister too, so we all interacted more, and this was before computers. And in my case, it wasn't really true that they would get divorced, because I think they were both unwilling to change anything in their lives, and would rather be miserable the way they were. A neighbor told me I could go live with them (and I had never said a word, so she must have just noticed somehow) but I was afraid to go. Is there an aunt/uncle with cousins for you, who might be able to take you in?

I agree that your parents, no matter how troubled they are, have an obligation to their CHILD first. It isn't your fault that they can't get along, and they can at least make a show of getting along for your sake! Yes, children first. And your mother has an obligation to you to get help for herself. She is being unfair by scaring you so much. Her depression is not an excuse for what she tells you. I would tell her in no uncertain terms that you are scared, and are afraid to even leave her alone, and that she HAS TO get help, even if it means checking into a hospital. And your father has to help you find a good family to live with.