My parents divorced when I was seven. Since then my brother and I have been shuffled around between both parents. I now live with my mom but the thing is I don't feel like I am being prepared for my future. My mom home schools me and I have been asking to go back to public school for years now. I feel like even though I am sixteen I still have no say in preparing for my future. As someone who needs to have credentials for college and basically does not exist in the system, this arrangement can harm me more than do me good.

I have talked to several adults in my life who say that moving to my dad's where there are more resources for me and ways to prepare me for college is a wise choice. The only people I haven't talked too are my dad, because even though he has implied he has wanted to get me back, does not want to influence my opinions and also has a traveling job. My mom, because I don't really know how to talk to her about it, I tend to feel like I take care of her more then she takes care of me, and my step-dad, he and I have very different ideals and sometimes he can be hard on me, we do not get along and well and I feel like he is not letting me form my own opinions and thought on things. I love my mother, but I don't feel like I am being prepared for real life at her house. I understand that they are trying and think they are doing what is best but I honestly feel like I would be better off at my dad's house again.

At mom's I babysit my three brothers on average two hours a day. There are some days where I babysit all day. I have no friends. I'm not kidding. I get excited to go to Wal-Mart cause I get to leave the house. I want to go to USAFA and I need to get in shape, but whenever I try and talk to my mom about setting up a workout program and going to the gym (which she goes to every other day almost) she always says we'll talk later or she's busy, the same when I have asked to join other programs to help with my leadership skills or to help build myself up mentally and physically. I have tried to get myself out there and when my Mom and step-dad won't allow me to get a license yet, there is only so much I can do by myself. I feel that I am more of a live-in babysitter and that no matter what they say my future and plans get put to the wayside. Words only go so far. As it stands I will not be able to get into the Academy in two years when I am able to apply. I believe changing where I live will help with that. I just have no idea how to go about doing that. I also really don't want to hurt my mom's feelings because a couple years ago these words that I'm typing would have been lies.

I know in Texas when a child turns 12 they have the ability to tell the judge which parent they would prefer to live with but this option was not open to me the last time custody was reviewed even though I was of legal age. I am now almost 16. So my question is how do I not hurt my mother's feelings and how do I go about requesting a change in custody?

How would living with a dad who travels for his job improve your life? What resources does he have available? I honestly don't see from your post what you're missing -- social opportunities? a driver's license? Those have nothing to do with preparing for college -- or the Academy? -- which is it? And how old are the three brothers? (Colleges are eager for home-schooled students, by the way.)

At 12 a child can tell the judge what he prefers, but it is still the judge to decide, merely a child wanting it, will not make it happen.

The father will have to prove he can provide a better home life for you, and show the mother does not care for you as well.

Your mother has the right to object and show reason, you should live with her.

If you are out of shape, you do it, you walk, you do exercises at the house. There is no requirement that you go to a gym.

Next home school students often do better on college entrance exams, so no reason you can not do well

It would be a huge change for you to live permanently with your father, particularly with him not home a lot. You would be going from a home schooled kid, to an adult living situation where you would have to do all your cooking, cleaning, studying, etc. on your own for much of the time. You would be expected to manage your time, when now, it is managed for you, which is not unlike any 16 year old to some degree.

Maybe there is a compromise here somewhere.

You haven't talked yet to your parents I gather. That might be difficult, with your mom being busy with five kids and a husband, and your dad gone a lot of the time, but it will be up to them to decide, and it would be preferable if they could make this decision, with your involvement. Maybe not all your wants and needs can be arranged, but the most important ones, can.

It is also a huge transition from going from home schooled, to a public school, particularly for you because you say you have no friends, and you have no outside activities that would involve you with kids your own age.

But, because you have valid concerns, in my opinion, and you are smart enough to consider the immediate coming years as preparation for your own future, with college in mind, maybe this is a matter of working it out, with your parents.

If it is impossible to have them talk together, even over the phone, try to get another pair of ears in there- an aunt or grandparent. Explain what you have expressed here, and ask for help in getting your parents to listen, and to help you make changes in your life. Without their assistance, you are pretty much stuck, so you have to find a way, to have yourself heard.

You sound like a responsible kid to me. It could be that with lives so busy, and time so short, maybe your parents haven't realized that you are growing up, and need their help, in reaching some basic goals.

All the best of luck to you.