OK my family have been abusing me for years... I'm apparently the scapegoat victim who they throw all their anger out on... it makes no sense as I'm beautiful smart confident talented... not sure why they feel they can just 'abuse' me but they do. They are all professionals doctors etc... most of them anyway. I've kind of let the abuse go and I still deal with them despite it however lately they've begun a new tactic... my mother has begun refusing to speak to me... its been 2 months now. She's using the silent treatment... In all my 30 something years she's never used that before. She has wanted only power n control over me.. and in her head somehow had it I guess in different ways. Lately I began to stand up to her abuse... and now she started with this. I didn't know she was using it until I tried calling and she didn't answer but it was a month of us not talking before I called her.. she didn't call me, I didn't call her but I didn't know it was 'off limits.' this is weird as she has always told people how 'WORRIED" she is about me all the time and how she holds her phone close to her in case I call. Just for show.. I've never heard of anyone say that crap anyway... so the silent treatment is starting to get to me.. some days its hard and is almost making me feel like I NEED to talk to her... she's really asserting her control over me but I refuse to beg and do what she wants... my sister won't help me out or stand up for me.. she lives in another state.. and she's pregnant about to have a baby. She too last week began berating me because she's jealous I'm potentially starting a singing gig... despite the fact that she has everything in the world she still wants to bring me down. She lead me on about getting a plane ticket for me to see her... for two months. Rather than say she wasn't going to do it she made it seem like she wud--the family usually does because they have money and other reasons... but this time they were messing with me. I found this shocking considering she's having a baby doesn't she want her sister there? I was even like just saying to split it... she rudely said 'no I can't'! Now she and her husband together make about 175k and she lied and made up a larger number saying this much taxes are taken out which is BS- I know I've done taxes before. She just made up lie after lie. She claims they're struggling which.. is BS. She made a quarter of that years ago and was doing fine. She also insulted me which left me upset... then when I finally got upset.. she continued BSing me saying that dad had financial problems- they always lie and pretend dad has financial problems.. he's been a surgeon for 35 years and in an area which is the second highest paying. In fact my mother admitted that he made about 300k a year or more usually yet they still pretend they're struggling and its all BS. Though he probably made more. So that resulted in me and her not talking.. so now she's going to have a baby and wants to bring me down? And my mother isn't talking to me silent treatment. My rude jerk father randomly texts me angrily with long paragraphs for rent.. I live in a place he owns and give him rent.. he's ranting about how I need to pay more rent... but he's rudely just venting angry taking his anger out on me.. has nothing to do with the rent just taking his anger out on me. Its never a... how are you.. hi.. how's it going... it's a long nasty paragraph of nonsense... my sisters having a baby and it seems my nasty narcissistic family is freaking out... for some reason and wanting to take their anger out on me... its like a triple take.. and it's bad... they almost want to isolate me from this whole experience... which is cruel and awful... making sure I can't go to the baby, and my crazy mother not talking to me. Its affecting me badly and some days its really bad... but they are sadistic and want to make me feel this way... how can someone deal with dynamics like this... most of the time I deal with the silent treatment then some days it just creeps up on me... I think.. OK we don't have to see each other but I can't call and talk to her if I have questions? About anything? She used to visit me weekly and now it's cold turkey nothing... I don't get why they're freaking out because she's having a baby... why aren't they happy... wanting everyone to join in? What kind of sickos are these... even when I've seen them do the worst.. they always seem to continue to do the unpredictable sick and top themselves... their evil is making me sick the fact that they can even do this. If I was ever pregnant I bet they wouldn't even be there... I'd have to fight to get them to see me, yet they almost don't want me to enjoy and partake in their own... everything they do is designed to be twisted sick and devious... has anyone heard of this...

and they are nice to everyone else.. they would never put anyone else down or abuse others... theyre scared cowards to others yet sadistically try to control and abuse me. Stranger I'm the oldest and the one they all looked up to.. and they've turned into monsters for years. If I'm even talking to a guy they all get crazy and jealous... and try to mess it up.. even if I get a fish tank they get jealous and weird... they're really sick... anything I do seems to bother them or make them feel as if they have to bring me down... why would they feel the need to control me because my sisters having a baby.. I don't get this..

I also cant understand how a mother to be... could still want to bring down a sibling, or try to be controlling.. I find this to be insane. Her anger towards me displayed someone really dark and evil... like deep down she is really screwed up on another level.. I cant imagine why she would have any anger.. shes a doctor, has a great husband, about to have a baby, has 100's of friends... yet deep down she is really angry and sick... and she feels she can take it out on me... she's jealous of any happiness I have any confidence and strength I gain and seeks to bring me down.. same with my crazy family.. if they know I'm doing a singing thing they'll all try to bring me down...

You seem to have some deep seated anxiety issues, melanie.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental-emotional-health/how-deal-crazy-weird-guitarist-799561.htm
With a lot of people in your social circle.

How do you deal with an abusive family, if that is how you view it, is quit all contact and move on with your life, but from the looks of it, you will always have these issues with people who are close to you, or business associates unless you get into some serious counselling and sort out what it wrong with you. Only then will you be able to accept what you have to deal with on a daily basis.

Good grief... I agree with tickle, you need to get help with your issues. I'm going to leave it at that before I get upset like they are.

Here's my advice, limit the ways they can be abusive to you. Get a place that is not controlled by your father. Look into counselling as a safe place to vent and learn new ways of dealing with your family. One of those ways may be walking away from the lot with the understanding that you cannot change them or control their behavior. You can only change yourself and control your own life.

It isn't easy but we have to walk away from situations that are bad for us. Sometimes it means letting go people, places, things, etc. that we think we should hold on to because it is what we have been told our whole lives. Sadly, some families are toxic. It can take years to figure that out. It can take counseling to help make the transition and to figure out the best way to protect ourselves while building a new life.

Frankly, if you feel like you are a victim of abuse, then you have to find the strength to get help and walk away from those who are abusing you. You have to be open to figuring out what you need to change to keep from going back. If you stay or continue to allow the behavior you do not like, then nothing will change.

I have been here long enough to read deleted posts. My god, melanie, what are you on about. Did you always have anger issues?
Thanks god Cat was more diplomatic then me but basically said that you need help dealing with how you perceive the world to be.You cant walk around for the rest of your life feeling the way you do, it is counter productive, not only to you but to the people you know and love.

No, I am not an abuser or anything else you chose to call me.