I've been communicating with this guy for several months, and we've gone out on about 6 dates. They were great. Early on I told him I just wanted friends for a little while, as I don't feel ready for anything serious right now.

After our last date, he contacted me and said he needed space for a few weeks. He said he was developing significant feelings for me and he knew that I wasn't ready for a full on relationship at the moment, and he didn't want to scare me away, and felt he needed time to try and curb his feelings and by him taking some space was the only way he could get his mind off me.

I said I'd support that if it is what he needed. I said I'd leave it up to him to contact me when he felt he was ready and he said he appreciated that, and he promised he would contact me again. In fact his words were something like, I'm not about to throw away this special connection we have.

It's been 6 days with no contact now, I'm finding it really hard, but I'm respecting his wishes I want him to do what is right for him. His status update today on FB was "i'll be alright...just not tonight".

I want to respect his need for space, and I promised to not contact him, but I'm anxious he is gone forever. I've told him I care deeply for him, but I just need time.

The last few days have been good, it's made me reevaluate what I want in life, and I'm starting to realise I can and am willing to love again and make a go of a relationship. Obviously I can't tell him that right now, because I'm giving him space. Should I continue to leave him and just wait for him? Might he never come back and I'll never have a chance to tell him what I truly feel? Should I just bite the bullet and text him and tell him how the time apart has made me feel fonder of him and confirmed to me I should be with him?

What should I do? Thanks in advance.

Confused.

Since you already know that he likes you, and was having growing feelings for you, then let him know that you miss him. Why put either one of you through anymore time apart? You can still take things slowly, but at least now you are closer to being on the same page.

I say stick to your word/agreement with him and see what happens. I have always been suspicious of someone who has feelings and then needs space to sort them out. The kicker is the 6 dates which is kind of early in the dating process that you want to take slow. He obviously doesn't want slow, so he backs away. I think there is reason for thoughtful caution with how you approach this.

His backing away worked and your interest has peaked you miss him, but hold tight and see if he misses YOU. If he has enough interest to take a chance. Tough call so think about how you approach this. 6 days isn't a lot.

You said "It's been 6 days now". I say "It has been 6 days, WOW". Such a long time.
Give it a little more time.

Thanks so much for all your responses.

I agree with you Talaniman & Catonsville, I had a deep down nagging feeling that I should be cautious in this instance. I should be allowed to take things slowly shouldn't I? I feel like in the grand scheme of life, 2 months of communication and catching up really isn't moving at a tortoise pace is it? Maybe I've been too long out of the game, but in my opinion it's not like I'm not showing him attention and affection.

Just to be clear I'm 28 and he's 30, so we both have some understanding of relationships and a little life experience behind us. We're both practicing in the medical field, so it's not like we're emotional or intellectual idiots either. Though, I'm not certain how much significance intellect plays in a lot of relationships.

I get the feeling that he is trying to drive things along quite quickly, and it has left me with a sense to approach cautiously. Is two months of communication and a handful of hang outs really THAT slow? I'm sure people have taken things slower over a much longer period. It does leave me wondering am I fulfilling (or being used to fulfil) some kind of insecurity he has... like an inability to be alone? He got out of a 2+ year relationship 4 months ago, I thought he would be wanting to take things easy and just relax and enjoy smelling the roses too.

There have been a handful of little comments which he has made which has made me uncomfortable, yet I've chosen to see past them and ignore them. He can be quite, to be blunt, arrogant. He once said to me "I think you need to be with someone who makes even more money than you...like me!". Sigh :( In my mind I was like I don't care how much money you make, it's a non-issue to me. He also made sure I knew he made the honour roll at University, and constantly reminds me of how much he just LOVES his job. These seem to suggest to me low self-esteem. Would I be right in assuming this? I also suffer low self-esteem but I certainly don't overcompensate for it, I just accept it for what it is and look at ways to better myself without affecting others.

He also made comment about my job - which is as a Family Physician - that a tough day in my work must be when the printer breaks and I can't print prescriptions. I actually found that quite belittling. My job involves a lot of hard work, and I take pride in it, and my patients genuinely appreciate my care for them.

Maybe I'm reading too much into those issues separately, but I can't help but feel underlying them is some significant insecurity which hasn't reared its head to me as of yet. Would anyone else agree? In this case, should I definitely leave the ball in his court for him to make contact?

Yeah, Caton and tal are right.Give him the SPACE that he wants and see if he misses you back! 6 days are not that long time, let him feel the way you feeling for him. And if he loves you truly then he will surely come back. But don't give it that big SPACE. Just give him some time, he should probably come to you! Wish you luck ! God bless you. :)

I always ask what's the hurry? If you can't have fun dating while you get to know each, what's the point? Besides HE made the call, you didn't. Why dwell on his motives rather than just go about your life while he makes up his mind. Six days is no time, and 4 months after a 2 year relationship isn't either.

To be honest a few fun dates after being away from the dating scene can also leave you wanting more. Again, what would the hurry be? Relax and breath for a while.

Thanks for all your responses. I'll give it some more time! I know I should be out doing my own thing and enjoying myself, but I can't seem to drag myself off the couch and put down my stupid cookie dough ice cream. How can I get my mind off him?

Is it supposed to be this hard when someone takes space? What is the purpose of torture like this lol?

I always believed that having friends, family, and activities you enjoy, and look forward to, is a better plan than ice cream and TV, or waterholing at the meat markets (bars). In other words, put together a plan and interact with your fellow humans and have good clean adult fun.

Okay! I know you're all probably sick to death of this thread, but his behaviour is killing me! The constant status updates on his Facebook are driving me nuts.

Now It's changed from "I'll be alright...just not tonight" to "Control the things you can, let go of the things you can't"

He knows I can read them. He changes them deliberately when I'm online!

Is this some kind of sick joke?

I would have said, or suggested, slowing things down, but to completely stop communicating seems like you've thrown the baby out with the bath water.

I don't think that you were clear enough with him either. His impression of the relationship with you, was that you were completely and totally not interested in developing a more serious relationship. It was him that decided on space, not you.

I think he felt that nothing was going to happen, or the relationship was going nowhere, and he moved on- very gently letting you go.

I think you've wasted enough time. If you want a relationship with this man, call him, meet at a coffee shop, and talk. Figure out what you are both comfortable with. For him, it might be the possibility of a relationship far more serious than what he had, for you, it might mean slowly building a relationship. And that doesn't have to mean all or nothing.

Instead of talking every day for instance, agree to talk every other day. Agree to a date night; plan ahead a little bit, and include him in your future, even if it is less than he would like.

I don't think you left him enough of an impression that any relationship with you was going to work.

Don't wait too long to contact him.

If you look at this as he dumped you graciously, and accept it, then you will no longer read his Facebook looking for FALSE hope and torturing YOURSELF, and might be able to move forward in a positive way.

Cyber stalking his Facebook only hurts you, and keeps old feelings stirred up, and keeps the ice cream industry rich. Stop that right now and get some real people to deal with. Anything that gets you off that couch. It's not right to sit in limbo and wait for someone to make a decision about YOUR future, and let every little thing he does on his social media page send you into an emotional dither.

Please get control of yourself, and your own life. Thats something you can control.

If you want to continue the dating relationship, I still think that you should say something. Remember that he is still of the idea that you are only wanting to be friends. Letting him know that you miss him doesn't mean that you are trying to rush into a serious relationship; you will still be able to go at the pace you like as you get to know each other, but as it stands now, he doesn't have a clue that you are feeling more open to seeing where it may go.

Since you added more information on his personality, just keep aware of those types of comments that made you uncomfortable. He may have said some to try and impress you, others referring to your job were insensitive, but perhaps it was his way of joking with you.

As you get to know each other more, you'll see if those types of comments continue or not. Then you'll know whether you see the relationship going anywhere.

By contacting him, he'll either be happy and the two of you will start dating again, or he'll let you know that he changed his mind. But you won't know unless you say something. Then you can stop wondering what he is thinking.