View Full Version : 18 year old Male Virgin who freezes up when his girlfriend mentions sex
LorcanCress
Jul 24, 2014, 10:31 PM
I'm an 18 year old male virgin for starters and I've always been interested in females my entire life. But anyway, I was messaging my girlfriend earlier in the night and the discussion turned to sex and for some reason, I just sort of froze up the moment she mentioned her own genitals and I don't know why, like I got a stupid bewildered look on my face and I literally went completely blank mentally, I had no idea what to say or do next. Afterwards, I felt really humiliated and ashamed and frustrated at myself because something just stopped me and I have no idea what it is. Is this normal because of the fact that I'm a virgin and I've never experienced a female before or is this a sign of something much deeper? I believe personally that if a guy truly likes girls, he should be all up on something like that right ? I feel really bad right now and I'll take any advice I can get.
Oliver2011
Jul 25, 2014, 05:35 AM
"I believe personally that if a guy truly likes girls, he should be all up on something like that right ?" WRONG. If 100% of guys aren't nervous about their first time, then it's 99.99999998%.
"I felt really humiliated and ashamed and frustrated at myself" Stop beating yourself up over this. It's not going to help you. Realize that regardless how much you stress or not stress over this, you won't be perfect your first time. And that's okay. You probably won't be perfect your second time, and that's okay. Take it slow and just put one foot in front of the other and you will be fine. Then after a few times you will realize all of this worrying was wasted time. None of us were perfect our first time and some of us never reached perfect anyway. You will be fine.
smoothy
Jul 25, 2014, 05:37 AM
I don't think that's normal at all... not the way you describe it anyway (or at least how I understood you explain it)... and that's speaking as a formerly shy guy (in my youth).
THere is a big differnce between an awkwardness where you aren't sure how to proceed, or a clumbsiness, or even just a general uncertainty and fear of making a fool out of yourself from standing there like a deer with its eye in your headlights and going blank mentally.
Excitement, fear, nervousness, uncertainty... all normal. Bewilderment? Not that I've heard of before.
But honestly.....its better to have some rational thought and hesitance before you jump in, since roughly 28% of peopel you age have HPV (basically the virus that causes genital warts) Then there is Herpes....the gift that keeps on giving that doesn't have a cure....etc. Because the last people you would expect to have it....are the ones that have it.
That and the fact anytime you have sex...even WITH protection...pregnancy is possible Then HELLO child support payments for the next 18 to 21 years, unless you are unlucky enough to father a child with severe disabilities then they might continue for your entire working life.
DoulaLC
Jul 25, 2014, 08:32 AM
Try not to over analysis it. Perhaps her mentioning it caught you off guard. It could be that you just aren't ready to make that step yet... as simple as that. There's no need to rush, and as was pointed out, plenty of reasons to wait or proceed with careful consideration.