Hello! I really appreciate anyone who reads this and can assist me with the most confusing in the Heart issue I am dealing with. I have been with mygf/fiancé for past 2 years. We have been engaged for the past 14 months. We were really happy although several factors have came up in the past 2 years. Let me start we met after she had moved down to Florida approx. 2 weeks after she moved here. We met while I was on the job and we really hit it off. A week later we started dating and everything moved along between so smoothly. She is 54 and I am 44. She is a very Beautiful Woman and a Good Person. She hasn't been married in 25 years and never had kids. She is retired and lives comfortably and really has her life in order. Our passion is out of this world. It really is. From the beginning of our relationship her mother lived with her, and had for 15 years. Really love the way she cared for and assisted her mother. She always put her mother first. I would spend 5 to 6 nights a week at her house, but would always arrive after her mom would go to bed. The next morning she always had me leave her place out of her bedroom slider. She never wanted to make her mom unconfortable and I understood that. Since the time we got together she would always reply We'll see to whatever I offered. She likes to be in control and I didn't mind it for she treated me so right and truly loved me I feel. We got engaged a year exactly after our first date. All was well. So sad but her mom was diagnosed with cancer 4 months later. Her mom was her life and she spent 120 out of 150 days all day at the hospitals which her mom was admitted in until she passed in March. She had her moms body flown up north where they moved down here from and did not have me attend the funeral. Told me to take care of her dog and it would be too much of a $ burden on me to be there with her at funeral. Said she was sad and she didn't want to be a tour guide! I was very sad and wondered who wouldn't want the fiancé beside them during their darkest days. She returned from funeral a week later. We spent more time together than we ever had in the past and everything was going well. She calls herself a princess like a child would. Very used to getting her ways HAs said to me she just bats her eyes and she can get what she wanted She is Very pretty and very aware of it. We both smoked cigs and since I met her she has tried quitting numerous times. In June she said she can't quit if she's around me so she said she was going to give me the week off. I went along with it but insisted I would be there to support her. She stuck to her ways and we fought from my response to saying what kind of a fiancé would want to be away from the other half for a week! She quit Was a tough week . Couple of weeks later we had argument and she said I am going to have you stay home tonight. You are stressing me out and I need time to breathe. I would always go along with what she wanted because I truly love her and didn't want to stress her out. In the past 2 yrs she broke up with 5 times over petty things and I would always beg her back and she would come around a day or two later. I really was frustrated with her last month. Hadn't been with her since Monday night. On Thursday she assisted me in helping my folks move. On the way there in the am she said You can drop me off tonight and you can stay home. 5 days earlier she finally committed to a marriage date in October. I was so happy! but 5 days later she was treating me like this. I said once again what kind of a fiancé wants this much space. I was confused and hurt. I confronted her during the move and said if I have to be around you all day but can't be with you again than that's it Im done! I didn't mean it I really didn't She took her engagement ring off and handed it to me and said take me home and we left in the middle of the move. Within a minute I was saying sorry I did not mean it ! She said I said it and to be a man and take her home Were done! Dropped her off and begged. I Know its not cool to beg but I was truly sorry for what I said. I did not want that and did not mean it. She said we are done. We didn't see each other for 15 days. I tried and tried and she kept saying no. After 15 days she met me at a bar which was the place we went to on our first date. She said I had one hr to talk to her and that was it. We talked for a while and kissed. I picked up dinner to go and met her at house after leaving the bar. We hugged and cried and kissed. We made love and slept for 10 hrs after that. We spent the next 2 days together nonstop and had sex 6 times that weekend with so many I Love You's . On Sunday night she said We are going to be a weekend thing from now on. Its been that way for past weeks. We have the best weekends together and We Truly Love one another. I hate being a weekend thing when I truly love this woman and am used to being by her side six nights a week. Said she is sticking to her guns and if its not good enough I need to move on. When I'm with her it's the best When I am not It's the worst. This hurts so badly. We are best friends, Companions, and really enjoy each others company. I feel I should be happy because we are still together, but its on her terms. I said love should not have conditions as to when when you want to see me. It should just flow. She said if we see each other 12 days a Month she can't worry about her feelings being hurt and we have great sex and companionship. I want my life with her back all the way and feel our love is so much bigger and better than a weekend thing. She says she can't sleep and she knows its hurting herself too, but its best. This is driving me crazy! I trade stocks all day from my house alone and she is retired and home alone all day The nights during the week are so lonely and sad. We talk approx. 2-3 hrs a day on the phone every day and night. I Miss my life with her. She says she misses it to but this is better. What should I do? Stick it out with hopes everything will be back to normal but better one day or just move on? Its going to hurt so bad to move on I really love her. It really hurts to count the hrs till I can see her again especially after I am comforming to the schedule and way she wants it. Should I relax and be happy with what I got? Or should I end it because I can't live with the fact that I am giving 100% of myself and heart to her but not getting it back in return. Im so confused! Sorry for so many words and reading this! Really appreciate any advice from anyone out there! Thank You!

You should give yourself a break... you yourself said that you are giving your 100% and not getting back it in return... relationships are beautiful till the time its from both sides... she is lacking the commitment towards you... you are nothing to her.. more than one who can satisfy her physical needs... you don't want to be a puppet or do you... love should be unconditional... with so many conditions.. it seems like a slavery... know it would hurt you much... but its better for you to move on... you need a partner who can spend her life with you... not just weekends... what I have understood is you need emotional bond... which is lacking here... from her side.. reject her offer to be a weekend thing to her... else you will end up being used... stay away from that lady... the more time you will take... the more its going to hurt you in future... if its fun for you.. stay and have fun.. but I see its not fun for you.. so please leave before you lose your dignity... the one who loves you... never let you beg... never let you cry... this is it.. you need to move on... rest is your call.. better for you forget this lady..

At your ages, you are both pretty set in your ways. She clearly prefers a relationship that isn't as close as you would like, at least in terms of actual time spent together. You do sound a bit needy, and you do seem to have a tough time understanding what her behavior means (you wrote a very, very long string of events instead). You take her wishes to be alone as a personal affront and are hurt. That is certainly your 'right' but she doesn't have to change. The ball is in your court to accept it or walk away.
You ask us what you should do, when you are the only one who can decide. Yes, leaving will hurt. So will staying. One hurts for a short time and one drags on and on.
You asked here about another woman who was cooling off, 3 years ago?
Maybe it's time to look at yourself instead of the other person. If you want to try to describe what it is about you that might be too needy, we are here to help. If you don't think you are and just happen to be attracted to women who want a lot of space, then examine that.

Gee two years together and broke up 5 times?

How hard is it to get the message its not working? I wouldn't have stuck around for a 2nd much less a 3rd 4th or 5th time.

Try reversing the roles to see this more clearly.

If you were a woman, in a relationship with a comfortably off, retired man, and you were 'allowed' a time schedule to be with him, what would you call it then?

You are a booty call. And, a love-sick puppy.

Right now, she controls you by dangling that weekend carrot under your nose, and you wasting away your days praying the weekend comes fast, and you can finally go to her home, and be with her.

She doesn't just control you, she controls your LIFE.

I don't know what you expect by explaining your situation here, hoping advice will help you change it, when clearly you have no intent to put your big boy pants on and find a better relationship with someone else.

You mention the inequity all through your post, with examples clearly showing that her needs and wants are not the same as your needs and wants, and that she can call all the shots, and you give in every time.

She let you in the side door when her mother went to bed, and then slipped you back out the side door when she was done with you. Your own examples through your post, clearly show you are not thinking. You can't see that you will never be in a different type of relationship with her- ever. All of your examples add up to one sick relationship.

She wants to live her life a certain way, with the weekend booty call going on. I'll bet if she knocks that down to 2 hours every other Saturday, you would still hang in there- and for what? Why do you allow yourself to be treated this way?

I think that you know the relationship is not a healthy, loving, sharing, compatible one. If you can't see even that much, then I suggest you get yourself into counselling with a copy of your post, and see if you can't be helped to get a better, more clear, picture of how you are wasting your life with this woman. Or, run it by friends and family that you can trust to give you an honest opinion.

The relationship is going nowhere, and neither are you.

I will agree. The two of you either need counseling and try to find a healthy relationship where both give and take.

Or you really need to move on. This is not a healthy relationsion. And I would not even call it a relationship. You "going out the slider door" is not being nice, it is being ashamed.