I am in the process of a divorce. Nearly everything has been settled except for two assets which we seem to be in dispute over.

Asset # 1 -- We have 20 acres of land (of which, I am living on with our three children). He left the home in February 2013 to move in with his girlfriend. I am making all the payments (mortgage, insurance and taxes). We have approximately $50,000 remaining on our mortgage. We tried to refinance the home in February of 2012 (which did not happen) and the property appraised for $90,000.

Asset #2 -- My husband is a firefighter/EMT. He has a State Pension Plan (Defined Benefit Plan) in which he has 12 years seniority. He will be able to retire in 8 years with his full pension at the ripe old age of 50. According to the Plan, if he were to retire at this time, his monthly payment would be approximately $500 per month.

In an effort to escape the madness as quickly and as easily as possible, I have offered a settlement of me getting the land and him keeping his full pension. He seems to be of the thought and theory that he deserves both. (How dare I want his pension!! ) I should pay him out the equity in the land and allow him to keep his pension (because it really doesn't amount to very much money... so says he and his attorney). My attorney wants to have the land and pension plan appraised in order to reach a dollar value to equitably split. My ex is not particularly fond of this being done but the reasons are not clear. Now, moneywise, this is not my first choice (we would split the cost of having this done), however, from everything that I have read about the valuation of a defined benefit plan, this number will not be pocket change.

My question is -- If he is not willing to do the easy split that I am proposing, am I correct in assuming that it will be beneficial to me to have the valuation done? What is the smart thing for me to do?

How long have you been married? That determines if you have any right to a part of his pension at all... or even how much of it. This may play a factor in their stance on this.

Meaning as an example if you were married 2 years...you aren't entitled to half his pension.....but if you were for 20, there is no doubt you are.

My question is -- If he is not willing to do the easy split that I am proposing, am I correct in assuming that it will be beneficial to me to have the valuation done?

Do you believe that the $90,000 appraisal you had done two years ago is not substantially what it is worth today?

Valuation of retirement plans is not as common as fee appraisal of real estate. Does your attorney have a reliable expert lined up, and how much is that person asking? Such a valuation would be done entirely differently than appraisal of residential real estate (which is done on the basis of comparable sales). It seems to me that the present value can be easily calculated from your husband's life expectancy (which in turn can be determined from readily available actuarial tables).

We have been married for 18 years. His pension is absolutely marital property.

The cost for doing both appraisals is roughly $1300 and yes, we have experts lined up. From my understanding, they do look at life expectancy and calculate it along with a discounted rate (seeing as how a dollar today is worth more than a future dollar).

I don't think we need to spend the excess money to have the appraisals done. And I think the value of my share of the pension plan will be at least equal to the amount of equity he has in our home (in fact, I believe the pension plan will be worth more if only by a few thousand dollars). If he won't agree to the settlement offer, and I have to pull the trigger on the appraisals, I want to have at least some inkling that the values are going to be at least equal.

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I don't think we need to spend the excess money to have the appraisals done. And I think the value of my share of the pension plan will be at least equal to the amount of equity he has in our home (in fact, I believe the pension plan will be worth more if only by a few thousand dollars). If he won't agree to the settlement offer, and I have to pull the trigger on the appraisals, I want to have at least some inkling that the values are going to be at least equal.

In other words, he is forcing you to waste money on the appraisals.

If discovery has not yet closed, your attorney should consider a request for admissions (that the values of the two assets are roughly equal). If your husband refuses to so admit, you would be able to recover your costs if you are able to establish this through expert testimony.