View Full Version : We've been trying
nicckidoodle
Apr 5, 2007, 10:27 AM
My fiancé and I have been together for 3 1/2 years, and have been trying to get pregnant for about 2 we have gotten pregnant once about a year and a half ago but unfortunalty lost it at almost 3 months the doctor told us it was OK to try again a few moths after the loss but I was to scared until about 5 months ago we've been trying ever since with no luck could the child we lost have been our only chance, I'm young,so I don't understand?
Understand that you have only been actively trying for 5 months now. It takes many women up to, and sometimes longer, than a year of actively trying to become pregnant. Reason being, is that there is a certain level of stress invloved with "trying" and stress is not conducive to pregnancy.
Yes, you are young, and you have MANY years ahead. Were you actiely trying last time or did it just happen?
Try and relax, take a vacation. I know we hear this all the time, but it does really work.
nicckidoodle
Apr 5, 2007, 10:43 AM
Yes we were trying, but when we found out it was surprising because I had no idea
Do you understand your ovulation cycles? How often are you "trying?"
nicckidoodle
Apr 5, 2007, 10:55 AM
Yes I understand ovulation, and we are trying 2 to 3 times a week, my old doctor showed us how to make an ovulation chart and to incorperate a BBT chart with it I've been using both. But its difficult because after I misscarried my cycle has not been regular
EnglishRose
Apr 5, 2007, 11:03 AM
Also, have you been to your GP? Some times a miscariage can be a sign of polycystic ovaries, which while not the end of the world, may mean you need some fertility treatment. He could also advise you whether you are having sex at the right times etc. A holiday is always a great idea though. Good luck x
It is good to hear that you are informed. Many young women are not informed and their partners are not ready. That is one reason we don't advocate having a child prior to marriage.
But since you are informed:
It can take up to a year or more for your system to be regulated back to normal after a pregnancy or miscarriage. I am sure your doctor explained this to you and that is why he is helping you with the info he has supplied so far.
It is of utmost importance that you do relax though. All of the planning, temp taking, charting, etc, results on a form of stress on your body. Although you may not notice it, your body does. The chemicals relased in the stress reaction, particularly Cortisole, make conception hard. This is why so many docs tell people to go on vacation. They are relaxed and stress free.
I know of many women who have just given up, believed that they were infertile, told that they could not conceive. So they stopped trying and, yup you guessed it, they ended up pregnant.
Happened to my mother for one. She tried for 7 years for me, was told she would never have children, now she has 3.
nicckidoodle
Apr 5, 2007, 11:15 AM
Thanks, I know a child out of wedlock is not ideal in most peoples eyes but we are getting married month, and we have known each other all of our lives and we both have came to the conclusion we want and are ready for a child he is graduating from dental lab tech school and we are moving into a house, but getting pregnant is just turning out to be a little harder than we expected thanks for the advice its kind of a relief I'm sure he will be relieved to
EnglishRose
Apr 5, 2007, 11:22 AM
I personally don't think that being married makes a huge difference as long as you are rock solid
Ah, now comes the stress... LOL
You are getting married, he is graduating, you are moving, etc etc
I bet you will get pregnant on your honeymoon. LOL
And no, being married does not make a huge difference if they are rock solid, but it is harder to walk out of a marriage once the stress of baby and finances hits if you are married than if you are not.
EnglishRose
Apr 5, 2007, 02:59 PM
People always say that, but how is it? If you own a house with someone it is the same financial issue and a leaving a baby is surely the most emotional pain you could feel. I would be devastated if the only reason my relationship didn't end was because he couldn't be bothered to divorce me.
Each to their own opinions though.