Hi, this is my first time posting here. Here's the situation. My girlfriend (47) went to visit her girlfriend and husband who she is separated from in Texas last Thursday. This same couple had approached her for a 3some last year before they moved to Texas. My girlfriend declined. And supposedly they backed off. Meanwhile, my girlfriend and her friend have been planning a reunion. Since getting to Texas, the married couple split and have since been dating again. They both have separate residences. I expressed my concern over the fact that she wants to see her friend and she assured me that nothing would happen, she would remain faithful and call me everyday! Well, since her friend picked her up in Austin last Thursday afternoon, I haven't gotten a call from her. On Sunday at around noon, I got a 45 second voicemail stating that she got in fine, was having a great time, been on the go and would be leaving in 15 minutes so had to go. She ended by saying "I love you and will call you later". (A little background----This woman has always tried to get my girlfriend to cheat on me. Obviously I don't like her. And I told her I wouldn't call her because her friend has complained that I annoy her when I do).. . Any thoughts?

well if I was you I would call her at random time and just see what she was doing and just ask her what she has been doing and if just been studering then you know.

She's coming back tonight and her daughter's picking her up. I think I'll either get a call when her friend drops her off at the airport or if she's real guilty, I won't hear from her until she gets my letter that should be in her mailbox today.

A letter?

Yes, On Tuesday night, I sent her a letter telling her that after being together for at least 3 years (I got a divorce for her, her husband and her are separated ), that I couldn't or wouldn't deal with her not even WANTING to call me and talk to me. I explained that normally, when 2 people are away from each other they WANT to correspond with one another and instinctivly want to hear the other's voice... I just got off the phone from her in Austin. She told me she didn't call because she believed I'd still be upset by her leaving.

Sometimes it's better to be alone.

Sometimes its better to be a lot more trusting and less insecure. Your to old for those teen age games and behaviours.

I totally agree.

Since she's come back I've gotten 10 calls! In the end, she justifies her not calling because she felt I'd convey my unhappiness that she went. Now that she's back, she said she was sorry for not calling BUT continues to justify. Uggh

Sounds like she is justified in her reasoning. She wanted to enjoy herself and not worry that you were worrying. Let it go. You really should look at your relationship and the levels of trust that you have.

Don't be such a killjoy. Accept that its her vacation, and get over it. That horse is dead, so put the stick away.

Hey folks, I hope all are doing well. I thought about your comments and now I'd like to continue with the aftermath. My GF came back from vaca and wanted to pick up as if nothing happened with regard to her being MIA for a week. She swore that nothing happened and that I was never even brought up during the week. What I've come to realize is that she has shielded me from getting to know most of her family and her only friend (from Texas). I've been with her for yrs. Now but she doesn't want me around her family or friend because "they really don't like " me. I don't know if I mentioned she's still married----just no longer living with her husband... Anyway, she did confess to me that a few months ago while she was "mad" at me, she made out with a mutual acquaintance and afterward drove him home "but nothing happened but the kiss" per her. Then she told me that another guy walked her to her car and kissed her (he was a REAL GOOD kisser). Her words.
My opinion is that she's simply a cheat. Your opinion??

I am a believer that once a cheater always a cheater. But, that is just my opinion.

I hear that. I was always faithful to my ex even though we were in a good but sexless marriage. I felt justified in cheating. Regarding the GF, she JUSTIFIES by saying, "well, we weren't getting along then".

I think you've been dumped, so move on. Not surprised, are you.

Hmmmm, yesterday she called me and told me she filed for divorce and is sorry about everything.

Wait your girlfriend was married? When did this come out?

Wait your girlfriend was married? When did this come out?

Check out post # 12

UPDATE: My girlfriend has told me that she's going on another vacation, this time with her 2 kids, 21 and 14 at the Bahamas during XMas week. She knows I must work during this time in my retail store. Last year she spent XMas with her kids AND her husband and not me. She said she believed very strongly that the kids should be with their parents on XMas, even though they both have been separated for 2 and a half years. The funny thing is she's going to the islands without her husband this year (and I don't think he'll be with them").

Now, she could've picked any other time but December for me to go... she did ask if I wanted to come for a few days, knowing that I can't leave my retail store, and of course I said I couldn't.
Any comments??

Hey I was reading some of your posts, Me personally I think that this woman is taking advantage of you, you seem too laid back and because you are still with her after all she has done to you it amazes me and had you not posted her age I would think you were talking about someone who is younger! I think that she is taking advantage of you and at this point she knows and probably is very confident that you are not going anywhere hell you stayed with her after the first vacation. My point is why are you in this relationship to begin with? Are you happy? Her kids are not children anymore and about being with both parents is an excuse. But my question is that she could choose another week to go on this vacation if she loved you, or maybe perhaps you are the one who is working too much and not spending time with her, Maybe she wants to see if you would take off work. ITs hard to call it.. My thing is where do you see this relationship going?

I'm 51, she's 47.
We've been on a number of vacations during the summer. Actually, I left my marriage of 27 yrs. Total and I always get something thrown at me. This week: "The reason my kids don't like you is because you don't include them"... When I expressed that I'm nothing but nice to them and that THEY like to stay in their rooms and are antisocial, as even their mom will complain, she'll back off and then say that her daughter simply wants the kids and mom to be together and that I derail that for them.

Well then it's not you her kids are manipulating her and maybe she feels that she disappointed them with her first marriage, Don't really know her story really or why her and her children's father divorced in the first place, Her kids probably would prefer their mother to be with the father therefore pissing you off by manipulating mom! As I stated these are not small children, and I know teenagers can be very antisocial and in fact feel cheated when mom is happy... I have children myself, divorced and I am in a new relationship although my children are small I try to make them understand now while they are young to respect and understand I am not with their dad...

I concur with your assessment!

I thought I'd tell you the very latest. I found out that my GF went out by herself in January on a Sunday afternoon to a local bar/restaurant that we frequent. She was drunk before she left her house and was, as usual angry at me over a matter she had no reason to be angered over.
She met up with some people we know and she was introduced to another friend of their's.
Throughout the day she never called me except to say she didn't want to have dinner later in the evening. At 12:10 in the morning, I called her and she didn't answer. Eventually at 12:40 she called, asking if I had called her.

She said she left with our friends, actually 5 minutes. After them. I knew the other couple was there from around 12 pm so I thought it unlikely that they'd be there until after midnight.
The next morning my GF called me to unload on something---that the guy she was talking to kissed her and that she responded, "You know that I've got a boyfriend. Why did you do that??" His answer was said to be," I couldn't resist your lips".

She said she really didn't want to go back there and that my friends and the bartender saw the kiss.
Afterward, I called my friend and asked him what time he left. He said 8 pm! Well it turns out that he never saw the kiss, otherwise I would've heard from him. So, I questioned the GF about the timing of the departure. She tried to say he MUST be wrong and then got angry for checking on her.

The other day I found out that they left together and went into her car for 20 minutes and she admitted she kissed him but says that's all.
I demanded my keys to my place back and I told her it was over. She cried and begged me to give her another chance but I said that I suspected that this isn't the first time this type of thing has happened and that she should seriously seek professional help and she said she would...

So that's it.:(

I thought I'd tell you the very latest. I found out that my GF went out by herself in January on a Sunday afternoon to a local bar/restaurant that we frequent. She was drunk before she left her house and was, as usual angry at me over a matter she had no reason to be angered over.
She met up with some people we know and she was introduced to another friend of their's.
Throughout the day she never called me except to say she didn't want to have dinner later in the evening. At 12:10 in the morning, I called her and she didn't answer. Eventually at 12:40 she called, asking if I had called her.

She said she left with our friends, actually 5 mins. after them. I knew the other couple was there from around 12 pm so i thought it unlikely that they'd be there til after midnight.
The next morning my GF called me to unload on something---that the guy she was talking to kissed her and that she responded, "You know that I've got a boyfriend. Why did you do that??" His answer was said to be," I couldn't resist your lips".

She said she really didn't want to go back there and that my friends and the bartender saw the kiss.
Afterward, I called my friend and asked him what time he left. He said 8 pm! Well it turns out that he never saw the kiss, otherwise I would've heard from him. So, I questioned the GF about the timing of the departure. She tried to say he MUST be wrong and then got angry for checking on her.

The other day I found out that they left together and went into her car for 20 minutes and she admitted she kissed him but says that's all.
I demanded my keys to my place back and I told her it was over. She cried and begged me to give her another chance but I said that I suspected that this isn't the first time this type of thing has happened and that she should seriously seek professional help and she said she would....

so that's it.:(



I am PROUD of you, Let her go... I am glad you found your cojones! Number one the fact that you don't trust her is a NUMBER ONE REASON to let go as TRUST is the key to a healthy relationship. Her behaviour is very strange... she is way to unpredictable, deceitful, she has not shown signs that she wants to be with you. Don't take her back, as the next time it will be your own fault... You let this go on too long, and I am glad you let her go!! Let her seek the help she need, let her be alone since she wants to act like she is alone!!


Let me also add, that she is selfish... She thinks she can do this to you and just apologize and everything goes to normal! Nope, There is someone out there who would give you the attention, and respect you deserve, as for Missy, her loss... What is she like 14 or something? She has a lot of growing up to do.. And you shouldn't be babysitting...

That is the best thing you could have done so turn that sad face to a SMILE you took your first step into a new beginning

:) Thank you and you are so right!!

:) Thank you and you are so right!!!
No prob... I remember talking to you and I kept saying gosh this guy is fairly patient, you allowed way too much... and I think you derserve a REAL woman...



Remember never make the same mistake twice unless you'll never get around to all of them!

I think you're right (again).

You should really work on your trust issues. I think the letter was a little bit childish so I can completely understand why she didn't call you. If you were so worried why didn't you just call her? Well just be happy she calling you now and don't keep worrying about it

you should really work on your trust issues. i think the letter was a little bit childish so i can completly understand why she didnt call you. if you were so worried why didnt you just call her? well just be happy she calling you now and dont keep worrying about it


I think you don't have a clue.:(

I think you don't have a clue.:(


I don't think they read or even responded to the right post... Ignore that response totally irrelevant... lol

I think the poster's referring to my comments on page 1 but still I believe this person doesn't quite get it.

I think the poster's referring to my comments on page 1 but still I believe this person doesn't quite get it.


SO sweetie how have you been? How are you making out?