Hi,

I need some advice on what to do.
My boyfriend of 7 years is contemplating weather he should be with me or not. The reason he is contemplating is because he couldn't handle the fact that my family do not like him. We are both from different religion,culture and race. I am from an east-Indian descent and he is from a Jamaican descent.We are both 23 years old and is still trying to get our life in order... aka... finish school.. find a career... ect.

Inter-racial dating is extremely hard and there are many barriers couples have to move past. My family cannot accept the fact that we are together.There are a few reasons 1)Hes black-not the same culture 2)hes not established and cannot support me at the moment.
I have argued with my family multiple times about the way they treat him but they do not care.They care more about getting me established with a job then my relationship with my boyfriend. It hurts me the way they treat him and there is nothing else I can do to convince them otherwise. My family do not acknowledge his existence what so ever-they do not say hi and he's not allowed close to my house.

My boyfriends parents also resents me because of how my family treats my boyfriend and I know my family somewhat resents me for dating him. I'm getting the ty end of all the problems!

However,I know my family will accept him in due time (because they don't have any other option) but my boyfriend have lost all hope for that happening.

My boyfriend says he loves me a lot but... I feel completely abandoned by him. Ive stood my ground for 7 years throughout the whole drama and stand strong because I know we are good for each other just our external factors is screwed up.

I'm just extremely hurt that he wants space and is contemplating whether he wants to be with me or not because of factors I cannot control. If we are going to break up, I rather us break up because one of us is not the perfect fit for the other... not because of our external factors.

I don't really know what to do right now or how to deal with this situation. He doesn't see that we are in this together. He doesn't understand that I stand right by him throughout this whole dilemma.

Any advice is better than nothing.

Do you want to make a bet they don't have to accept him? You might marry him and they migh never accept him... I know this because I've seen too many examples of it. And they weren't even inter-racial marriages. Are both of you in a third country, or which country are you in at present, yours or his, or are all of you, families adn all in another country other than the origins of your cultures.? THis can play a large part in this if you are in your home country, and he isn't. He probibly isn't forgetting where YOU stand... but he recognises how hard its going to be dealing with your family the rest of his life if they don't like or respect him.

Sure its possible they MIGHT after they get to know him... but its also possible they won't and there is the issue of the damage caused before they would.

I don't think its about you at all... but the totality of all of it because family IS important... even after you get married. And I think he sees this.

You don't marry just one person and then close yourselves off from the rest of the world. You marry his/her entire family, no matter if those families live in different countries, and the families will be in your life -- and on your family tree -- forever. Once children begin to arrive, the complications will multiple.

"Standing by him" isn't good enough. There are too many things going against you, him included. My advice is to move on.

Life and reality always gets in the way when you just want things to be smooth and happy. Give him his space to decide whether he is up for the challenges of life and can commit to it with you, or whether you both should shift your priorities from each other, to your own individual pursuits.

7 years is a long time to just be still exploring and experimenting and struggling and have produced few positive results. Your families won't change, nor will the struggle cease, so it seems the commitment is flawed, or the plan is flawed, but both need honest looking at by you both. Sometimes when things cannot be achieved together, they have to be done apart.

Give him the space he asked for and stay on your own path, since he seems to want to get off the one you have walked so far together. Let him go as the worst thing to have is an unwilling partner who doesn't want the challenges any more. Break ups suck, but holding on to NOTHING sucks even more.

Interracial is hard. My ex wife and I, had same issues. My mother hated my wife, till the day she died. I was wrote out of her will because of my marriage to her.

So marriage can just make them hate him more, He can get a job, and show family he can support you. That would help a lot Since there should be no discussoin of marriage, if he can not support you anyway.

Religion is another big issue,

As for as interacial, even in the US. You will get treated badly by many people. My wife was black and living in a black community, there were groups that treated me like I was evil for marry her. And that she was a traitor to her race.