I am doing a ballet right now and I dance with this boy. I really like him and I'm friends with his sister. I'm 12 and he is 15/16 and I really like him. Today I had dance and didn't see him. Although my friend Told me she had told him. Is it wrong I like him? Would he like me back? Or would he feel it's wrong? I'm begging you guys for help!>.<

Give it up... TOO big of an age difference. Even one year is a huge difference at that age.

He would think more of you like a little sister. He is too old to have you as a girlfriend.

You have a crush and he does not even notice. He sees you as the kid you are. That is as it should be. He should not see you any other way.

Don't try to grow up too soon. The media has glorified romantic relationships so that children are trying to emulate adult behavior before they are emotional ready. Have you talked with your parents about when they feel you should be ready to date?

Don't try to grow up too soon. The media has glorified romantic relationships so that children are trying to emulate adult behavior before they are emotional ready. Have you talked with your parents about when they feel you should be ready to date?

Well Okay maybe this will help. We had two friends in the ballet. I'm one of them. During the dance I half to kiss his cheek. On day he turned his head and I kissed him. Now I'm stuck because he seems to like it when I kiss him and we stand really close together and we joke around. Then when my current boyfriend hit me he stood up for me. After I kiss him he blushes and starts smiling. I don't know if he just likes me or if it's just from a girl kissing him.


Give it up... TOO big of an age difference. Even one year is a huge difference at that age.

Well he dose a lot for me. He helps me out and he has this cape thing and he wraps me up in it sometimes. He makes jokes with me. I have heard a rumor he likes me but I don't even know.

Do your parents know about your boyfriend? Do they know that he hit you?

You aren't getting it. You are too young for this. The additional info you posted only shows that you are trying to grow up too fast. You are a child! Don't push it. As for the boy, he probably looks at you as a little sister. But even if he doesn't he's too old for you.

First LFM12, you never let a boyfriend hit you whether he is jealous or not and someone should be told about it, and he needs to be dumped, right now. That's not love and its dangerous, and disrespectful. It's NOT okay to be hit by a boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter.

Of course you are thrilled, and attracted, to the attention of an older guy, who stood up for you. This is a crush, and as normal for kids as adults. That's what feelings are about. It's more that you dance together and see each other a lot than anything else, and those feelings dominate your thinking right now.

Enjoy the feelings, nothing wrong with that, but don't just get carried away by them, and act foolishly. You are 12, but its about time you acted like a young lady, and not a thrilled kid who just discovered how good a candy bar is. You and your friends have made this a big drama to talk about, but YOU better be cool, and not let this go to your head, but dump the guy who hit you.

He is older, so of course he defends you because the boyfriend was wrong, but don't take his big brother defending little sister as a sign of he likes you like YOU may like him. He probably doesn't so keep it real, and don't make such a big deal of his attention, or a kiss as part of a dance/play for school. It's a cheap thrill that won't last very long when something else comes along for everyone to talk about, and you will feel foolish and hurt when you find out it was short lived.

If you are as mature as you think you are, you dump the boyfriend, and enjoy being in this play and act like a young lady, not a thrilled kid who doesn't know how to carry herself with dignity, and self respect.

This is just the beginning of being thrilled. Enjoy it but handle it properly. Now just chill out. Its not wrong to like him, but be smart about it.

First LFM12, you never let a boyfriend hit you whether he is jealous or not and someone should be told about it, and he needs to be dumped, right now. That's not love and its dangerous, and disrespectful. It's NOT okay to be hit by a boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter.

Of course you are thrilled, and attracted, to the attention of an older guy, who stood up for you. This is a crush, and as normal for kids as adults. That's what feelings are about. It's more that you dance together and see each other a lot than anything else, and those feelings dominate your thinking right now.

Enjoy the feelings, nothing wrong with that, but don't just get carried away by them, and act foolishly. You are 12, but its about time you acted like a young lady, and not a thrilled kid who just discovered how good a candy bar is. You and your friends have made this a big drama to talk about, but YOU better be cool, and not let this go to your head, but dump the guy who hit you.

He is older, so of course he defends you because the boyfriend was wrong, but don't take his big brother defending little sister as a sign of he likes you like YOU may like him. He probably doesn't so keep it real, and don't make such a big deal of his attention, or a kiss as part of a dance/play for school. It's a cheap thrill that won't last very long when something else comes along for everyone to talk about, and you will feel foolish and hurt when you find out it was short lived.

If you are as mature as you think you are, you dump the boyfriend, and enjoy being in this play and act like a young lady, not a thrilled kid who doesn't know how to carry herself with dignity, and self respect.

This is just the beginning of being thrilled. Enjoy it but handle it properly. Now just chill out. Its not wrong to like him, but be smart about it.


I agree but now I'm just lost. Okay I'm going to use names. We were in a wedding rehearsal ( part of the ballet.) and C the boy I am/ was going out with hit me for the second time. O started picking a fight with him. I'm not going to repeat what they said unless needed but afterward he had hugged me and kissed my head. I know O probably dosen't realize this but It still feels weird liking my friends brother. But I think I only like him because of us dancing together and because my friends are all dating boys at the studio and I'm here alone eating potato chips. I feel like I like him but I don't think I do I think I'm forcing myself.

Your confusion is understandable since your boyfriend hit you AGAIN, and this older guy came to your rescue. It's a confusing situation and your friends having boyfriends just adds to it. Try this, dump the boyfriend just because he hit you twice and please tell someone like an adult,and just be friends with O, and thank him for defending you, and coming to your rescue. That's gratitude for helping you out of a tough situation. The confusion will end and you will see it better, and it seems like you already are.

The boyfriend started the confusion by hitting you, and that's a betrayal by him, so dump him and end MOST of the confusion for yourself. Who needs to get hit by someone that's supposed to like you? That is confusing isn't it?

You are young, too young to be having these kind of relationship problems. You should not have a boyfriend that hits you. How Old Is this kid? Your parents should be told about this. You may be feeling this way about the older boy because he came to your defense. You are too young to be dating. Enjoy dancing and friendships. Dating will come soon enough.

Your confusion is understandable since your boyfriend hit you AGAIN, and this older guy came to your rescue. It's a confusing situation and your friends having boyfriends just adds to it. Try this, dump the boyfriend just because he hit you twice and please tell someone like an adult,and just be friends with O, and thank him for defending you, and coming to your rescue. That's gratitude for helping you out of a tough situation. The confusion will end and you will see it better, and it seems like you already are.

The boyfriend started the confusion by hitting you, and that's a betrayal by him, so dump him and end MOST of the confusion for yourself. Who needs to get hit by someone that's supposed to like you? That is confusing isn't it?

I think it's me now. Okay so today him and his mom came in. I have a hour before my class and so I was watching over his younger sister with him and we started taking. I thanked him very much for helping me out after C hit me. He then said " anything for such a pretty girl." It made me blush yet it weirded me out. O and I are really good friends. Because today I broke up with C. He started talking trash about me and osca once again stood up for me. But I don't really understand why. There is a few explanations but he did see my old ( OLD) self harm scars and he kissed everyone of them. I guess when he heard C talking trash he didn't want me harming myself again. I told his mom about C hitting me and my artistic director knows about C beating on me. But something else is bugging me and I'm hoping YOU! Not anyone else can help me with it.

The names of the boys have been edited and you are anonymous, so if you want to share feel free to, but it's a public forum. You will get more suggestions and advice that way, to help with what's bugging you.

I'm not understanding why you told the older boy's mom and not your own about this kid beating you and why the director knew about this and your parents or even his parents were not informed.
As for this boy kissing your scars, that is inappropriate. He should not be toughing or kissing you anywhere apart from the dance. This needs to stop!

I'm not understanding why you told the older boy's mom and not your own about this kid beating you and why the director knew about this and your parents or even his parents were not informed.
As for this boy kissing your scars, that is inappropriate. He should not be toughing or kissing you anywhere apart from the dance. This needs to stop!


I then had her tell my mom. That's why I told Osakas mom. And I wasn't that concerned Abouthim kissing my forearms. It wasn't a tongue type of kiss it was just kind of sweet how he noticed and cared that's why I let him.

The names of the boys have been edited and you are anonymous, so if you want to share feel free to, but it's a public forum. You will get more suggestions and advice that way, to help with what's bugging you.

I have a question I'm hoping you can help me with. So this morning It was around six am. I kept waking up and falling asleep over and over. I would sleep for a good 10 minuets then wake up for a good 2 minuets then fall right back asleep for another ten minuets. And in every single dream I had he was in it. Weather he was dancing with me or flirting with me he seemed to be there. Would that be like my mind telling me I'm developing feelings for him and not just kind of well faking them? Or is that a sign or something? Cause it's bugging me. I messed up on our dance so many times I lost it all cause I was thinking about all the dreams and when he touches me ( DURING THE DANCE) I think even more about them...

Intense feelings (no matter what they are) make for intense dreams sometimes, but they are dreams and not reality. They are rather distracting though.

I can understand how you are feeling now with all that's gone on, but I know as time passes, and things get back to normal, (after this wedding), feeling will calm down some, and so will the dreams. Right now it's very hard to focus on reality. I get that, and a levelheaded really good friend could help sort it out a bit until YOU get control of your feelings.

Often we get stuck on things because we have too much other stuff we want to forget about, so was that why you cut before?

Intense feelings (no matter what they are) make for intense dreams sometimes, but they are dreams and not reality. They are rather distracting though.

I can understand how you are feeling now with all that's gone on, but I know as time passes, and things get back to normal, (after this wedding), feeling will calm down some, and so will the dreams. Right now it's very hard to focus on reality. I get that, and a levelheaded really good friend could help sort it out a bit until YOU get control of your feelings.

Often we get stuck on things because we have too much other stuff we want to forget about, so was that why you cut before?

Okay thank god. I was very worried I really did like him. I mean I kind of do but not enough to ask him out. Osaka and I are becoming close but not in a relationship way. So hopefully this will all stop. Thank You so much. I have my friend zoie at school and she is concerned that I like him... but I like him yet I don't.

He is your friends brother and he helped you out of a jam. You like him as a person, and are grateful he was there to help when you needed someone. Perfectly normal, and in time you will realize that for yourself. 12 is a confusing time for everyone, not just you. Talk to your mom, that's the best source of support for 12 year old girls.

He is your friends brother and he helped you out of a jam. You like him as a person, and are grateful he was there to help when you needed someone. Perfectly normal, and in time you will realize that for yourself. 12 is a confusing time for everyone, not just you. Talk to your mom, that's the best source of support for 12 year old girls.

Answering the cutting part. No, the abuse Caleb was pushing me on made me feel like I wasn't enough for him. I skipped meals and cut. I still wasn't good enough. But Osaka thinks it's a shame to see such a pretty girl suffer so he told Caleb that I was done with him. And I was thankful. He was like the person I was told to bring with me. He hugs me and pokes me and yesterday he gave me a bracelet like his. I thought it was cool and pretty sweet ( in a friend way) Oska and I are probably going to stay friends.

O sounds like a great guy, and you have to be grateful to be so fortunate to have such a friend and I hope your healing continues so you can make a lot better decisions about how you handle yourself and others in the future. I will be honest that it boggles my mind that you didn't reach out to your parents in all this time as a 12 year old should, as that's something a parent NEEDS to know.

I hope you consider that seriously going forward.

I am confused...

1) Why is his name sometimes Oska and other times Osaka? Originally, before it was edited out, you were calling his Oska...now it is Osaka with Oska thrown in once.

2) Why did your question start out that you think you like him but has then progressed to him doing all these things now...like kissing you and telling you how pretty? Why was this not pointed out earlier?

3) Why would you tell his mother and not your own?

4) Why did you first say that you broke up with the other kid and then you are saying that Oska/Osaka broke up with him for you?

5) Why do I get the feeling like you might be making this up as you go or at least embellishing it?

I wondered the same thing Odinn7 I also wonder why the instructor saw this abuse and did not tell your parents.

I was wondering if it was just me...and there are other inconsistencies that I didn't really bother to point out.

He is your friends brother and he helped you out of a jam. You like him as a person, and are grateful he was there to help when you needed someone. Perfectly normal, and in time you will realize that for yourself. 12 is a confusing time for everyone, not just you. Talk to your mom, that's the best source of support for 12 year old girls.

Okay thanks. My one last wonder. I'm talking to him like right now and he seems like he keeps hinting he is trying to ask me out. It's scaring me yet not at all scaring me. I wore this really pretty dress today and he was flirting with me. And when I was getting ready he was talking to me closely

ANY 16 year old boy flirting with ANY 12 year old IS a very good reason to worry. He's a junior perv, the guy who is very likely to grow up to be a pedophile. And probably someone when he is 25 or 35 still finding 12 year old girls exciting.

You share nothing in common... and at 12 you look far more like an 8 year old than you do a 16 year old... And MOST 16 year old guys wouldn't even THINK to chase a 14 or 15 year old... essentially none would chase a 12 year old.


Sorry but my experience is nothing good can possibly come from this.

Are your parents okay with you dating this boy? Have you asked them if it's okay? You're 12, at that age you need your parents permission to date. If they say no, then problem solved, you can't date him even if you want to.

I love it when school's out for summer. It's going to be an interesting 2 months on the site. :(

Okay thanks. My one last wonder. I'm talking to him like right now and he seems like he keeps hinting he is trying to ask me out. It's scaring me yet not at all scaring me. I wore this really pretty dress today and he was flirting with me. And when I was getting ready he was talking to me closely

A 12 year old such as yourself is so thrilled by the attention this older rescuer gave you/is giving you, that you fail to set boundaries of good behavior? I guess if he asks you out you will just have to say NO, JUST friends as in the real world, and not the confused fantasy of a young minds have been through a lot, friends can try to get too close and become unintentional enemies as you have just learned from your recent experience.

Keep your dignity and self respect and stay within the boundaries of good behavior. Haven't you done enough dumb stuff behind your mom's back already? You have to know she would no more approve of this fellow asking you out, than finding out a boy was hitting you and causing you to cut because it made you feel bad. Talk about awkward? Messing around with your friends older brother?

You better think about it since this 15/16 year old messing with a 12 year old is really bad news don't you think? Still haven't talk to mom huh? That's a huge mistake from the start! Thought you figured that out already at least/.

Interesting....

I find it a bit suspect how this story is evolving. If all of this is true, this 15/16 year old has seen your weakness and is taking advantage of it. Any 16 year old showing this kind of interest in a 12 year old is taking advantage and is a creep. You need to tell your mom about all of this. How is all of this going on and the director not be aware of any of it? You are a child playing adult games and you need to talk to your parents and put a stop to this.

Are your parents okay with you dating this boy? Have you asked them if it's okay? You're 12, at that age you need your parents permission to date. If they say no, then problem solved, you can't date him even if you want to.

I love it when school's out for summer. It's going to be an interesting 2 months on the site. :(


Okay let me be honest here. My mom and his mom are good friends. Mia and I are really good friends. I babysit there younger siblings.. with him. There are two so obviously someone needs help and I help out. His mom thinks it's kind of cute that I like him and my mom thinks it's the same. Cute. I told my mom about this situation. She said and I quote " I would prefer you to not date either of them but hearing that Caleb was abusing you and causing you cutting and if you really want to date someone. then yes I will approve of you going out with oska." I was excited yet disgusted. I know this sounds crazy. But after my mom and his mom approved he asked if on Saturday ( a long dance day) if I wanted to sit in his moms car and eat lunch with him and his sisters. I said yes. Only saying yes because it would be a chance to hang out with Mia. I didn't take in the thought that " wow. Osca just freaking asked me out. Wow delayed reaction much." And Mia thinks it's gross I like him but yet she thinks it's kind of cool.


I was wondering if it was just me...and there are other inconsistencies that I didn't really bother to point out.
Okay with oska. So basically what happened was Okay first time I spelled it wrong. My friend Tori corrected it for me. Then I was tired and auto correct corrected it for me. Now it's all set and I know it's right.

Wait until he dumps you for a new 12 year old in the near future because 16 year olds are already too old for him as are apparently 14 year olds too.

And in fact he's just two short years from becoming a pedophile legally and officially in most of the civilized world. Something he would go to jail for and be real popular amoung the other inmates. That would make most parents proud.

First there is no reason at all that a 16 year old can not watch and baby sit two children. So there is no need for the boy to have help unless he is lazy and not willing to help.

It is cute, because they see you as a little kid. And see this as a crush, and are clueless that many 12 year olds are having sex when they start dating older boys.

I see yet another girl who will be pregnant before she is 14. Any 12 year old off to a start like this... won't be a virgin much longer... if she still is at all now. And this "wonderful" guy won't be anywhere to be found after it happens.

Thats all a 16 year old boy is after, Someone easy to talk into anything because she's easily impressed and very impressionable even more than the average 16 year old girl is.....and a shining example of why statutory rape laws exist and are needed.

Okay let me be honest here. My mom and his mom are good friends. Mia and I are really good friends. I babysit there younger siblings.. with him. There are two so obviously someone needs help and I help out. His mom thinks it's kind of cute that I like him and my mom thinks it's the same. Cute. I told my mom about this situation. She said and I quote " I would prefer you to not date either of them but hearing that Caleb was abusing you and causing you cutting and if you really want to date someone. then yes I will approve of you going out with oska." I was excited yet disgusted. I know this sounds crazy. But after my mom and his mom approved he asked if on Saturday ( a long dance day) if I wanted to sit in his moms car and eat lunch with him and his sisters. I said yes. Only saying yes because it would be a chance to hang out with Mia. I didn't take in the thought that " wow. Osca just freaking asked me out. Wow delayed reaction much." And Mia thinks it's gross I like him but yet she thinks it's kind of cool.


Okay with oska. So basically what happened was Okay first time I spelled it wrong. My friend Tori corrected it for me. Then I was tired and auto correct corrected it for me. Now it's all set and I know it's right.

Seriously? Did your mom have anything to say about the guy abusing you? Did she have a talk with his parents? How long has your mother been allowing you to date? You are obviously not mature or old enough for dating.
There is absolutely no reason a 16 year old boy should have interest in a 12 year old girl, except something that is not healthy.
I don't understand the parent's thinking in this at all. This is sounding pretty unbelievable to me.

I never let my kids date until they were 16. Kind of old school, but waiting didn't scar them for life, and they still didn't marry the people they were dating at that age when all was said and done. Your heart will probably be shattered a number of times between now and the time you pick the "one". Someone once asked me how many children I had. I replied," One that is living and 4 that are teenagers". Just like me or anyone else, at that age our brains and hormones can get us into a lot of trouble we really weren't expecting or hoping for. Enjoy being 12! Enjoy being 13 and 14 and 15 and graduating from high school still available to make the choices you really want. You will never get to do it again, so why waste it on self destructive relationships at your age. Man, 12 years old, wouldn't do it again for anything, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Remember the choices we make often dictate our choices in the future. Make good choices young lady. Good Luck!

I think if he likes her to they should date because it doesn't matter about age its about true love plus I have a uncle who is 23 and dating a 25 year old women so what's the matter with dating someone older than you.

Great advice...how old are you? There is a difference between an 12 year old dating a 16 year old and a 23 year old dating a 25 year old....the difference is one group is adults. this kid at age 16 is 4 years older than the girl...4 years at that age is a huge difference...aside from the fact that he is close to legal age and she is not.

So where do you suggest that they should go on a date? Maybe to Chuck E Cheese? How about he could take her to Build A Bear?

I love it when kids come on here and talk about age doesn't matter and it's all about true love...really? Age doesn't matter when you're 12? And true love? When you're 12?

I think if he likes her to they should date because it doesn't matter about age its about true love plus I have a uncle who is 23 and dating a 25 year old women so what's the matter with dating someone older than you.

Spoken like a true adolescent who hasn't learned the realities of life. There is a BIG difference between two 20 year olds dating and a 12 and 15 yr old dating. The posts in this thread show clearly that a 12 yr old is not emotionally ready to deal with the issue involved in a romantic relationship. A 12 yr old has no real conception of "true love". Anyone who says that age doesn't matter is either immature or a pedophile. It is true that age differences matter less and less and one gets older. With 2 people who are both adults it hardly matters at all. But when one or both of the parties involved are minors it matters a great deal.