I'm not sure this is the right place for my question but I'm going to ask anyway. I have a fear aggressive Cocker Spaniel/King Charles Cavalier Spaniel mix and she's about 5 years old. She started growling about 2 years ago and it's gotten progressively worse. Now we can't touch her except on the head and upper back or she'll snarl.


I have a feeling I know why she's like this- my father has physically abused her on occasion. He likes to tease her by pulling the skin around her mouth, biting her, and brushing her fur forcefully with no consideration for her pain. Basically, he thinks it's fun to hurt her- not too much but enough to make her cry out. He does this on a regular basis, and has been doing this continuously despite the snarling. On a few instances she has actually bitten him, and when he does he flies into a rage. He kicks her, he beats her over the head repeatedly with slippers, he slaps her over and over again etc.


I think it is despicable and would never hurt my dog. However, as a result of this treatment over time, my dog has become reactive to everyone in the family. She has not yet bitten me or my mother but has come close a few times.


I can't confront my father about it because I have tried several times and he turns livid and accuses my mother and I of "taking the dog's side" when he was the one that was bitten. Well, if he hadn't abused her in the first place this would never have happened. My mother takes his side and only intervenes when he is beating the dog so hard he might injure her. I can't push the topic because then he will just beat me instead (he has done that).


If I out him to the authorities, my entire family will turn against me. I do not want that to happen because I am very fond of most of my family and I'm financially dependent on my parents (I am 19, in college, and hoping to go to veterinary school after I graduate).


If I separated my parents from the dog (i.e. found a friend to take her in), they would be furious at me as well because they also love the dog, even if my dad has a sadistic way of showing it and loses control once in a while.


I don't expect a solution to such a complicated problem but pointers would be nice. I don't know what to do.

I will be blunt. YOU DO NOT LOVE YOUR DOG.

IF you did you would report him to the authorities your father is a f'n coward who hurts animals and you allow it. Your poor dog is suffering and one day may bite someone and be put down and it is your father and the rest of you fault.

HOw in the hell does someone watch a dog being hurt and not intervene. Damn this pisses me off.

I agree with Mogrann. You want to be a vet, but you're standing by while this poor dog is being abused, and you refuse to do anything about it? This is animal abuse! Would you stand by while a child was being abused by your father because you don't want to rock the boat? What will it take before you stand up and do something. When he kills the dog will you finally step up? This is an outrage! You don't deserve to be a vet!

PM me your address, I'll call the cops for you. They can send the dog to me. A gentle hand and a loving touch is all this dog needs. As long as it's being abused it will react in the only way it can, bite before you're bitten. The dog has no options, only the humans do, and none of the humans that can do something about this, are stepping up to the plate.

Shame on you! Shame on all of you!

Your lack of reaction makes you just as bad as your father. You're allowing this abuse, therefore you're an abuser too.

I agree Alty I am livid. Wish I could find out the address and call the authorities on them. This is disgraceful and inhumane

When the dog bites someone else, it will be put down. Then you can have the screaming "I hate you" fit at your father. Do yourself a favor and don't get another dog until you move out.

Cats I must say this person should never have a dog. A person who truly cares about animals would do something even if it was an anonymous tip to the authorities. I doubt she will ever protect a pet from harm. I also don't think she should be a vet as I would not want to be taking Owen to a person like that.

If you love your dog as much as you say, then at least consider giving your pet a better home. This situation will get worse.

Kestrelf, I am very sorry if you felt attacked by the members here. While they are very passionate about their animals, they don't always understand people.

It appears that you live in a very abusive household. Prior to your father abusing your dog, did he ever abuse any family members? Does he use this animal abuse as a control measure?

Unfortunately, your dog most likely cannot be rehabilitated and will possibly have to be put down. The longer the abuse continues, the less the likelihood of rehabilitation.

You have to make a choice. You can continue to let your father abuse your dog, as well as yourself and other family members (I'm certain he abuses your mother as well), or you can put a stop to it and report it to authorities. Should you let this continue, you can forget about becoming a vet.

Thank you J_9, talaniman, and catsmine for your responses. Yes, he has beaten/choked my mother and I on several occasions. He is normally calm and considerate, but if he loses control he completely transforms into a monster. This happens rarely.

I am disappointed by the incredible amount of useless hate being thrown at me here. Practically no attempt to understand or answer my question.

Perhaps I have accidentally exaggerated what happens in the household. The kicking and beating of the dog has occurred 2 or 3 times. It is by no means a regular or predictable occurrence. As of now, I have been trying to get her out of the house as much as possible. I am also considering asking a friend to take her in.

Yes, I have already had "the screaming 'I hate you'" discussion with my father. Every time something like this happens. At least then he directs his blows at me instead.

Everyone seems to think I would prefer to stand by and watch the abuse happen. If I wasn't trying to find a solution, why would I have posted this? I am away at college most of the year and this matter just came to my attention. I have stepped in and redirected his rage every time I have witnessed the abuse.

Oh, by the way. My dad was once a child with a best friend too. His dog. One day while he was at school his own father, without telling him, killed and ate his best friend. Most Asian countries still consume dog meat. Likewise, "disciplining" dogs or people by using physical force is still not out of favor. That is my background. Now we can add racial slurs to the hate.

I was born here and do not condone any of this.

I will choose to disregard the comments about my future career aspirations.

Thank you for taking the time to read/reply.
As before, suggestions would be appreciated. Kindly take your blind hatred somewhere else.

Sorry can't take the 'blind hatred' Anywhere. Here is more coming at you. Thank you for telling us about the killing and dog eating episode, just like you were rubbing it in.

There is no chance ever your dog can be rehomed. The damage has already been done. The best thing you can do for your dog is have it put down, so there will be no more suffering.

Thank you J_9, talaniman, and catsmine for your responses. Yes, he has beaten/choked my mother and I on several occasions. He is normally calm and considerate, but if he loses control he completely transforms into a monster. This happens rarely.

I am disappointed by the incredible amount of useless hate being thrown at me here. Practically no attempt to understand or answer my question.

Perhaps I have accidentally exaggerated what happens in the household. The kicking and beating of the dog has occurred 2 or 3 times. It is by no means a regular or predictable occurrence. As of now, I have been trying to get her out of the house as much as possible. I am also considering asking a friend to take her in.

Yes, I have already had "the screaming 'I hate you'" discussion with my father. Every time something like this happens. At least then he directs his blows at me instead.

Everyone seems to think I would prefer to stand by and watch the abuse happen. If I wasn't trying to find a solution, why would I have posted this? I am away at college most of the year and this matter just came to my attention. I have stepped in and redirected his rage every time I have witnessed the abuse.

As before, suggestions would be appreciated. Kindly take your blind hatred somewhere else.


I'm not sure this is the right place for my question but I'm going to ask anyway. I have a fear aggressive Cocker Spaniel/King Charles Cavalier Spaniel mix and she's about 5 years old. She started growling about 2 years ago and it's gotten progressively worse. Now we can't touch her except on the head and upper back or she'll snarl.

I have a feeling I know why she's like this- my father has physically abused her on occasion. He likes to tease her by pulling the skin around her mouth, biting her, and brushing her fur forcefully with no consideration for her pain. Basically, he thinks it's fun to hurt her- not too much but enough to make her cry out. He does this on a regular basis, and has been doing this continuously despite the snarling. On a few instances she has actually bitten him, and when he does he flies into a rage. He kicks her, he beats her over the head repeatedly with slippers, he slaps her over and over again etc.

I know this isn't what you want to hear and it will be harsh. It isn't hate. It is fear. Fear for you, your mother but most of all your dog. Understand that if your dog bites someone even out of fear, she stands a very good chance of being euthanized. Hope that she doesn't attack a child. It is fear that you are making excuses instead of doing what you know has to be done.

By your own account, this has been going on for at least two years. She is now to the point where you can barely touch her without her warning you off. This isn't a "recent" (as in the last few months) development. This has been building up for years and you can say that you just learned about it, but it doesn't ring true. You can down play the physical abuse the dog endures, but now you are saying you aren't there for most of the year. Do you really know what she is living through?

You want to find a solution. Good. But you have to face the facts first. The dog is being abused even if it isn't kicking and choking every day. Roughly petting her just to cause her pain, biting her, and everything else you describe as regular occurrences are abuse. It is causing her to mistrust humans. It is important to face that fact because anyone who takes her in, if you rehome her, will have to know that she is a ticking time-bomb and ready to bite. They will have to be willing to give her the time and patience it will take to gain her trust and hopefully teach her that there are still people who won't mistreat her. (I know you care, but I am not sure she trusts you.) She will always have to be watched especially around children. One bite could be the end of her life.

Something to keep in mind is that dogs do not show pain the same way humans do. A dog will hide fact that it is hurt especially if it doesn't feel safe. So when your dad kicks or hits her, she could have more damage than you realize. He doesn't sound like the type to take her to the vet if she was seriously injured. Is it fair to her that she lives in fear?

Your dad abuses you and your mother. You can choose to leave. You have left if you are at school most of the time. The dog can't make that decision. You don't want to upset your parents by rehoming her because you are dependent on them. Is it fair to her that she pays for your security?

You want to be a vet. You might make a good one. However, if you do, you will run into this situation in your practice. How would you handle having a patient in obviously abusive living conditions? Do what some do and continue to make money treating the animal or get authorities involved/get the animal in a better situation?