Here's my attempt to try and make this story short, straight to the point and entertaining so I get as much answers as possible.

So here it is. I totally fell for a boy who barely gives me the time of the day! He's confusing, and definently not a guy who would lose sleep over a girl but that's what makes him more attractive to me. He's actually really nice, but sometimes I get the feeling I annoy him and wants me to leave him alone. But at the same time I'm not sure if he's doing that to be nice. I know, that doesn't make any sense. Let me give an example:

I had a party at my place and there was weed and alcohol. Before he showed up he had been already drinking and when he took hits, he got extremely sleepy and everyone thought he was like dying because he wouldn't move. So I went to sit next to him and I kept asking if he was okey and I knew he wasn't in the mood to talk(I've been where he's at) and I gave him water and then I asked if he wanted to sleep in my bed inside and he says no it's fine.. but I could go in if I wanted to. I took that as he wanted to get rid of me maybe.. so it hurt my feelings because I was taking care of him so I went inside. Then another girl (she's my friend but really sl*tty, they had sex before) went over there and "took care" of him which made me jealous.

But two weekends before that, we both got drunk and was drunk talking and I told him I regret breaking up with him (we dated for a week and we broke up because I was never able to see him I'll explain that later) and he said "what? We're not broken up" and I said aww really? Yay I like you and he's like I like you too. We didn't and never have had sex but in the morning he had work so he went home and I kissed him goodbye.

He never texted me and I actually messaged him on Facebook saying, "John!" But he never replied. I don't get it.

The obvious answer is he doesn't like me but then why pretend he does?

Back to the night where he smoked a lot of weed, the morning after that I was messaging a friend on Facebook and I tried to make him jealous by making it obvious I was talking to a friend so early in the morning (he's just a friend but john doesn't know that) and my wallpaper is a picture of me and my best friend at prom. (He doesn't know he's my bestfriend)

I know he saw it because I saw him looking at my phone. I did that to make him jealous because I was upset he ignored my message but came to my party anyway. I was trying to show him I wasn't desperate for his attention.. ugh.

And the dating thing.. he's a high school drop out because his dad is a . Won't get into that but since he doesn't go to high school he works Monday through Saturday and have Sundays off. He works for 5am to 8pm so when we dated for a month he literally had NO time for me or anyone. It was hard so I broke up with him and he didn't seem to really care which made me sad again! He said okay I understand I'm sorry I'm a bad boyfriend

Btw when he came to my party he left his iPod unlocked (he uses it to talk to people he doesn't have a phone) to see if he talks to girls or moved on and from the sneaky and guilt filled 6 seconds I skimmed through his fb messages I didn't see any. Just from his friends..


I just want to talk to him without feeling desperate, needy and annoying! I usually would give up on him but he's REALLY inexperienced when it comes to girls when it's about relationships! To him, when he likes someone he has sex wth them. He doesn't use them the girl usually doesn't want to get into a relationship because either she's leaving somewhere, has a boyfriend (sl*ts I know but I hang out with partiers so) or some other weird reason. He's definently attractive and has tried having sex with me and I said no because we were only dating for two weeks at the time and he said crystal this isn't a hit it and quit it.. I like you but I still said no. (I'm not stupid!)

I guess my question is: what excuse should I use to message him? I was going to have another party but it's not up to me, so I'm not sure yet, what can I do? And please don't tell me to forget him.. please /:

Hi, is your name Crystal? ;)? Anyway, I think he is just a hard working person, that's why he wasn't able to spend time with you. I think he himself is confuse about this relationship, as you've said that sometimes he doesn't reply you then sometime he checks your phone. I am not sure, may be he wants to have physical relationship with you but you don't want it that way, so for that he is behaving like that. I would suggest that rather playing hide and seek, seriously tell him about what you feel, about your confusions, ask him what he feels about you in his heart (he loves me / he loves me not), communication is best thing, it will keep both of you from any confusion. Will make life easier. If he says he don't and just want to be friend, then be a "good" friend, don't become his friends with benefit (if he wants to be just friend but same time wants to feel you too). If he loves you, he does. If he don't, then don't. I'll not tell you to forget him, I'll just say don't waste your time and energy.

You are demanding, too immature to understand adult relationships and wanting something that does not exist.

You are texting and messaging, but I do not see, I went to see him, when he was sober and not strung out on drugs and talked to him.

Sounds like when he is high, he wants a slutty girl...

Don't waste your time on a drunk who abuses drugs as well... nothing good will ever come of it.

Welcomtomylife, you are still young (it shows in your writing.. not a bad thing). But you are playing games (trying to make him jealous, etc) and that typically will not get you anywhere. Your situation sounds like the typical "why can't I get a good man?" scenario, where you chase a total douche, he craps on you and you go running back for more. Date other people, play the field, move on. That will really make him jealous and make you feel better (not by making him jealous, but by finding someone who treats you like you deserve). Best of luck!

Okay, thanks for the input everyone..

Yeah, I do feel like I'm a bit demanding and maybe even a little delusional. Maybe I just like him so much I'm forcing him to like me as much as I do, and I feel maybe entitled that he's "mine" since he's an ex (maybe explains why I got jealous when my friend took care of him).

I don't think weed is bad, so saying he "abuses" drugs doesn't sound right to me, it's not meth or OTC pills. ):

And you are right, I AM playing games. I should really stop that. I need to grow up..


But anyway, I messaged him. I took a cute selfie of me and his favorite pack of cigs and put, "look your favorite cigs! Haha" and guess what? He read it but ignored it. I wish hed just tell me he doesn't like me anymore.

Hopefully he comes to my party this Saturday. I'll try and talk to him while he is sober. In the meantime, anything that'll help me? I was told to stop playing games, and I think that sending him a cute selfie was sort of a game.. should I just be straightforward and tell him how I feel? I'm so confused and I hate this!

Okay, thanks for the input everyone..

Yeah, I do feel like I'm a bit demanding and maybe even a little delusional. Maybe I just like him so much I'm forcing him to like me as much as I do, and I feel maybe entitled that he's "mine" since he's an ex (maybe explains why I got jealous when my friend took care of him).

I don't think weed is bad, so saying he "abuses" drugs doesn't sound right to me, it's not meth or OTC pills. ):

And you are right, I AM playing games. I should really stop that. I need to grow up..


But anyway, I messaged him. I took a cute selfie of me and his favorite pack of cigs and put, "look your favorite cigs! Haha" and guess what? He read it but ignored it. I wish hed just tell me he doesn't like me anymore.

Hopefully he comes to my party this Saturday. I'll try and talk to him while he is sober. In the meantime, anything that'll help me? I was told to stop playing games, and I think that sending him a cute selfie was sort of a game.. should I just be straightforward and tell him how I feel? I'm so confused and I hate this!

Keep telling yourself that "its just pot"... there is a VERY long list of great jobs a stoner will never be allowed to get... or keep. Most of them well paying with great benefits. Drunks won't get them either....the better employers don't need or want either type around...they are a liability.

I'm guessing that the two of you are about 15 or 16. That would account for the game playing and the alcohol and drug abuse.

Yeah... wait until they have to take pre-employment drug screening tests and see how big the ramnifications are. I don't even think Walmart will hire you unless you can pass one.

I don't think McDonald's or Burger King requires drug screening though. Now those are jobs that will support a family! (note the sarcasm).

Lol first of all were not 15 or 16. Notice how I have my own place and if you thought I meant my parents' place, that's kind of sad. What parents would let a bunch of drunk and high "15 and 16" year olds at their house? And what 15 or 16 year old have their own place? Sorry that I sound immature and young but I'm not here to impress anyone. I am what I am.
And at 15 or 16 I wasn't having sex or neither were my friends. Were you guys?

Whether we were having sex and doing drugs is immaterial. I deliver many babies to 15 and 16 year old drug addicts.

Yes, your thread shows immaturity. This is why we guessed the ages we did.

Drugs and alcohol do not play a good part in relationships. Unless, of course, you have no self esteem or want to better your life.

Stop playing these teeniebopper games. It doesn't appear he is interested in you. Move on, get yourself healthy and find a healthy relationship.

I don't have low self esteem, it's just that at a party people are usually not sober? Not sure if you've been to parties or not but I've never been to a sober party but that's besides the point. You're right, it's meaningless to pursue something serious with someone who uses drugs (weeds or not) thanks. I'll move on and just stay away from relationships.

I don't have low self esteem, it's just that at a party people are usually not sober? Not sure if you've been to parties or not but I've never been to a sober party but that's besides the point. You're right, it's meaningless to pursue something serious with someone who uses drugs (weeds or not) thanks. I'll move on and just stay away from relationships.

I am sorry that some seem to be insensitive on here, but I think what they are trying to do is get your attention and not just being rude. That is in no way helpful. My guess would be that you are in your late teens to early twenties? This is before the human brain fully develops. During this time many people have an inability to make rational and cognitive decisions. You only think 5 minutes into the future.

Also, most people (men and women) have an easier time seeing situations objectively when it is not them in the situation, so ask yourself, what would you tell a friend in the same situation?

What you need to try and do is think about where you want to be in say 5 years. Would you see yourself with this guy? In the early stages of figuring out relationships, some tend to become infatuated with another person for one reason or another and build a mental bond with that person.

No matter what the circumstances are, that bond cannot be broke (in your mind). You loose perspective on reality and things that should set off red flags don't. This keeps you from working on building healthy relationships, after all... breakups and losing people we love or think we love is part of life and helps us figure out how to deal with lose. So you have to try and break the mental barrier that keeps you from moving on. Figure out what makes you happy, outside of a relationship, so that you can be happy with yourself. Don't discount a relationship with someone, but don't make it your primary focus.

You both are playing a silly game to get what you want, trying to change each other. It never works so stop playing. Leave the games for kids.

But two weekends before that, we both got drunk and was drunk talking and I told him I regret breaking up with him (we dated for a week and we broke up because I was never able to see him I'll explain that later) and he said "what? We're not broken up" and I said aww really? Yay I like you and he's like I like you too. We didn't and never have had sex but in the morning he had work so he went home and I kissed him goodbye.

And the dating thing.. he's a high school drop out because his dad is a . Won't get into that but since he doesn't go to high school he works Monday through Saturday and have Sundays off. He works for 5am to 8pm so when we dated for a month he literally had NO time for me or anyone. It was hard so I broke up with him and he didn't seem to really care which made me sad again! He said okay I understand I'm sorry I'm a bad boyfriend

Btw when he came to my party he left his iPod unlocked (he uses it to talk to people he doesn't have a phone) to see if he talks to girls or moved on and from the sneaky and guilt filled 6 seconds I skimmed through his fb messages I didn't see any. Just from his friends..

He's definently attractive and has tried having sex with me and I said no because we were only dating for two weeks at the time and he said crystal this isn't a hit it and quit it.. I like you but I still said no. (I'm not stupid!)

You need to get your story straight. How long did you date him? One week, two weeks, one month?

How old is everyone? You say you have your own place and seem upset that anyone would say you seem like a young teen. However, you mention that he doesn't go to high school and is a dropout as though you and your other friends are still in school. Or are you older than he is?

When he is sober or realizes it is you he is talking to him he seems to make it clear he isn't interested. It is when he is drunk that he appears to be saying what he thinks will get him in your pants. When he sobers up it is, once again, not you that he wants.

Snooping through his iPod? Really? You think that invading his privacy is an acceptable act? It isn't. It is his life and you need to step back because you do not have any rights or privileges where he is concerned.

I think trying to make him jealous has been covered.

Stop having parties if the main purpose is to invite him. Have friends over because you want to spend time with them. Change the social group you are trying so hard to fit into by finding people you have more in common with than what the next drink will be.

I think you sound like a great person who is hooked on a scene and isn't giving herself a chance to meet people who aren't all about the moment and the party. There are people out there who aren't about seeing how much they can drink or how many people they can sleep with. There are men out there who want to get to know a beautiful and wonderful person who wants to get to know them. It takes looking and time. Opening your eyes to other options is just the first step.

Do you have any close friends you would invite to small gathering to watch a movie and just sit around and talk with? Instead of a party, how about planning a more intimate gathering of friends? People you can relax with instead of people you feel you need to compete with in one way or another.