I have a huge son in law problem. He is the most selfish person I have ever met. He has 4 junk vehicles and only 1 runs. My daughter is pregnant with her 3rd child. He works at a low paying job. He is a religious fanatic. Does not believe in birth control. My daughter is stuck home all the time as he is never home. He does not believe in letting her have TV or internet. I try to make sure the kids have everything they need. The 3 year old asked me so sweetly the other day to buy her a princess crown and wand, so of course I did. He took them away from her. Says they give her the idea that people are better than others. I have even caught him in my house without permission using my internet. I try so hard to keep my mouth shut but now he is really making me mad taking away the girls toys. What can I do about this awful situation??

Not much. He is not dependent upon you, your daughter is liberated. It is basically up to your daughter since she is married to him.

This is your daughters problem, she choose him, dated him and decided to marry him.

Sorry to sound that way, but she can go to work, she can put children in day care, she can use birth control, ( if she wants to ) please stop blaming him for all of this, your daughter is also allowing it. Why did your daughter not tell him to give the toy back ?

I agree with what has already been said.

You need to butt out, to put it bluntly. I think that you sound like you use every opportunity to antagonize and be highly critical of your son in law. And I'm not convinced that you couldn't have anticipated his reaction to the princess crown and wand.

Worse yet, is that your grand daughter, having been given this gift, then having it taken away from her, would have been upset. Maybe check with your daughter before giving any toys to her children.

You can't keep going with so much hate toward your son in law, without it affecting your daughter, and her children, and her marriage.

To keep driving a wedge between you, and them, will only lead to you not being able to see your grandchildren at all.

It is not your business to interfere, be so critical, and negative about your daughter and her husband. She has made her decisions, and you should respect that, and let her live her life, with the choices (or consequences), without your input.

I think that this situation you caused with the toys (maybe not intentional), is a good example of how your relationship will continue to deteriorate with your daughter, and affect her marriage, and her children.

It's time to cut the umbilical cord or you risk alienating your daughter, thus putting your relationship with your grandchildren at risk.

This is the man your daughter chose to marry and have children with. They must share the same beliefs, i.e. birth control, or she wouldn't still be with him.

Rather than to cut him down every chance you get, support your daughter if you want to remain a part of her life.

Your house, you give permission to be there and to use your things. Lock your doors or change the locks if they have keys to your house. If he was using your computer, password protect it. If he had his own device and was using your wi-fi, password protect it. Do not give any of them the passwords or keys.

They are the parents. They set the rules regarding their children and what they are allowed. It does not sound like there is any abuse. So, you should back off.

Stop trying to be a parent by making sure the kids have everything they need. That is the responsibility of their parents.

You can give your daughter love and let her know you are there for her, but she chose and chooses to live this lifestyle. If she is unhappy and he is being abusive, you can give her support for getting out of the relationship. But if she is happy and agrees with his lifestyle choices, then you need to accept it. It may not be what you like or would want, but it isn't your life.

To help you put the toys in perspective, when your daughter was three were there any toys you didn't want her to have? Toy guns? Toys you might have considered dangerous? How would you have reacted if a well-meaning adult gave her a prohibited toy?

That's a good point Cat.

I made it clear that the kids would not have any toy guns. Nor would they have skateboards.

So, despite being very clear on this, that's what they got...

I never took any of the toys away, and like kids do, they were bored with them after 10 minutes anyway.

I would have jumped in his arse being in my house and using stuff without my permission, and on that you need to be very clear with him, BUT their life and ways are their own. Butt out. Your daughter made her choice whether you like it or not, so love her, and live with it.

Maybe check with your daughter before giving any toys to her children.

That was excellent advice, whether you like or don't like your son in law. Tell your grandkids you will check with mom or dad.