My husband had sex with a much younger woman after we split up, we got back together now he can't get an erection with me. What should I do?

Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with the woman being younger, but he probably has a lot of anxiety built up and that is why he can't perform. Perhaps you should suggest counselling in order for him to get over this.

I think that he realized that he made a big mistake (obviously- he's back), in leaving you and being sexually active with another woman. Age doesn't really figure in to this I don't think.

The part that is missing, is that what ever the problems were before the split- are still there after the split- only more amplified.

You are seeing another symptom in a marriage, that is just added to all the other symptoms of a marriage not on track, with his inability to get an erection.

In other words, this isn't/wasn't the only problem. For your marriage to break down to a separation and him being with other women, involves far more than what you are saying.

It is not just his problem. The problem is only part of a much bigger problem, and it doesn't sound from what you've said so far, that any of it has been worked through.

Having sex with the younger women will not directly be the problem with the erection. Perhaps guilt, perhaps issues between you and him, that are not resolved yet.

Perhaps a other sexual dysfunction..

Unless you are both 21... sex with a much younger woman is every older guys dream.


As far as the Old soldier refusing to stand up and salute....there can be a range of valife reasons....depending on how old he is....maybe a bunch more.

You are all right, I need to try and get him to open up about what he wants from our relationship . I have taken up meditation and it has really helped me to clear the crap out of my mind and put things in perspective, but he seems to be working on the principal of give it time it'll get better, and it won't , it'll make it worse. The sex issue is clouding what the real problem is, but he has convinced himself that if it doesn't work it must be a sign that we aren't going to work together. I think maybe he isn't over the other woman. Thanks for your time and input.

Your mind may be clear of the crap but I doubt his is, and maybe the best course of action is to go slow until he catches up. How old are you both and how long have you been married? Is this the first time you have had problems that separate you? What are the issues behind the separation?

I too think there is a lot more issues here that need resolving and it may take longer than you think. Sex is the least of your problem.

How old are you guys? And how old was the other woman? I only ask to get insight, but to the core of your issue, many times an erection in middle aged men has nothing to do with their sexual partner at the time. They are controlled by blood flow. Men tend to hold a lot of anxiety due to finances and other factors.

What was the separation due to? Maybe those issues have not been resolved.