This girl and I have known each other for 2 years. When we first met we dated for 8 months then we stopped speaking for 4 months.

After the 4 months of no contact she contacted me again, and now for the past year she has constantly been changing her feelings towards me by the day. One day crazy about me, next day ignoring me, then just wanting to be friends, then wanting me like crazy again, back to ignoring me.

In the last 3 months we started to spend a lot more time together and most the time it's her initiating and we have a great time together. But recently we would go out, and she will constantly throughout the time go from flirting with me, kissing me, to pulling away completely. This past weekend she asked me to go to movies and dinner. During dinner she was all over me to a point where she even said we should stop it because we in public. After that we go to movies and I tried to hold her hand and she totally pulled away and pretty much leaned completely away from me for the whole movie. So I was really fed up with her mixed signals and after the movie she could see I was pissed off so she asked me what's up and I told her I can't do this anymore. She said she's confused about her life and she thinks we should be friends only. I said to her OK that's fine but I need to move on then because I can't wait forever and I can't keep feeling confused 24.7.

I said right now I can't be her friend because I like her too much and I need time to get over. She started crying and said she understands and then that was it. She called me the next day to talk about it again and we just said the same stuff again and she told me she's really sad about this. I just said again I'm sorry but I need time to get over her if we going to have a chance to be friends again because I care about her more than any girl I've met. I hope I did the right thing.

Unless you like the merry go round then you did the right thing.

Hi andy67,

I think you did the right thing. She doesn't appear to know what she wants right now, and it is unfair for her to use you in trying to figure that out. Give her plenty of time and space to know what she wants. This will also allow you to move on and focus on other things. How were you doing when you didn't talk to each other for the 4 months? Had you moved on at that point?

You may care about her more than any girl you've met, but there are more girls that you will meet and it is just possible that one of them you will care about even more. In time, you may end up being able to be friends without all of the other feelings involved. That would be great... but it may also be that you both move on, become involved with other people who are better suited, and she will become a fond memory of a girl from your past.

You did the right thing and if she contacts you again, ignore her. Do not respond. Otherwise the roller coaster starts again

Bravo! Good for you.

You were honest, and straight forward; you didn't play any games.

You are confident and sure of yourself, and thinking straight- with your brain.

Absolutely the right thing to do.

I will agree with the other, she has some real issues, and it appears it has been that way. Your best move was to get away, don't go back this time

During those 4 months she went back to her ex. They were together for 5 years, then they were on and off and after us dating for 8 months she suddenly went back to him. After 1 month they broke up but she only contacted me 3 months later. I still missed her loads and I wasn't dating anyone because I wasn't over her, so when she called we started seeing each other again. But from that point on the mixed signals began. I never said anything in the past. Not once in one year did I tell her I'm fed up with her mixed signals, but she knew she was doing it. When we had our talk on the weekend when I told her I need a break from it all, she said is still messed up about what happened with her ex and she is scared to get into a relationship with anyone.I really care about her and I feel we had something special the times when things were good. When we dated for those 8 months, things were great. We really have something special. But after she broke up with her ex she hasn't been the same. I just could never understand how she could change towards me over night. For one year I put up with it, and then it just hit me that night at the movies this is messed up. Literally from kissing me at dinner, to not even wanting to hold my hand in the movie. That's how frequent her change in feelings towards me were. Of course that is only one of 1000 stories in this past year. I do miss her a lot now, it's only been a week since we last spoke, but I couldn't keep feeling confused each time I left her. I don't have any other choice here.

You ALWAYS have a choice... put up with it forever and lose any right to complain about it... or walk out for good and stop dealing with it.

The choice is yours.

Stop trying to rationalize it... it only makes it look like you have no standards or spine. Actually it does more than make it "LOOK LIKE" it....if you continue going back for more of it, then it proves it.

You were always an emotional tampon to help her through the hard off/on thing with her boyfriend. Now you are not and the confusion is over. Once you have put her behind you, I think you will be relieved and better understand the whole situation from the perspective of clear healthy thinking.

Just takes time for the emotional dust to settle, and the clear healthy thinking to emerge. Its called the healing process.