My boyfriend, 19, always wants to fool around and I, 17, don't. He's had sex w/ 4 other people before me and I have never had sex. We've been together a year and it bothers me that fooling around until we almost have sex sex is all that he wants to do. He doesn't try to pressure me into sex and he tries to respect my decision to wait. However, he feels sexually frustrated when we don't fool around and says that our having sex would relieve this frustration. I love him and think he's worth making this relationship work and maybe having sex with in the near future, but I don't want to feel pressured.

He wants you for his personal sex toy. Or he would be doing a lot of other things than just try to get you in bed.

Trust me... I was 17 once... thats exactly what is first and foremost on his mind.

Also makes me wonder why he can't find a 19 year old... there is a huge difference in maturity between 17 and 19. A 17 year old is easier to sucker into doing somethng than a 19 year old is. That's why he was chasing after you instead of someone closer to his own age group. He figured you would be a pushover... then when the novelty wore off... he'll dump you and find someone else.


Sorry if that's blunt... but I know EXACTLY what's going on in his mind. And now you do.

He is in lust, you are in love. Set some rules and stick to them, and if he can't handle it that's just too bad isn't it. His sexual frustration is his problem NOT yours so if he cannot handle his problem and do more that TRY to be respectful, don't even bother fooling around.

LUST is NOT love.​ Tell him to cut it out, or get lost!

says that our having sex would relieve this frustration No, it will only make him a father.

Stick to your guns. You are too young to be a mother at 17 years old. All he wants is to get is rocks off. If he wants to relieve his frustration introduce him to Rosey Palmer and her 5 sisters, a/k/a his hand.

While he may not directly pressure you to have sex, he still is if he continues to talk about it. He can take care of his sexual frustration as J_9 mentioned. Best to put an end to getting into any situation of fooling around with him. Set the limits and keep to them. You have control over how far things go, so be sure that you are not letting things get to that point. It only sets you both up to become frustrated.
His reaction will let you know whether he has your best interest in mind or his own interests.