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GGV7
May 18, 2014, 10:53 AM
So, my boyfriend and my best friend have always been really close. He tells her everything, while I’m the kind of person that doesn’t tell anyone anything. She is currently single, and I do trust her, but I’m afraid something might happen between them. We’re all in the same class, and they have known each other a long time, longer then I have known either of them. They live in the same area, so they hang out a lot and have sleepovers just the two of them. The thing is that they have fooled around before… this happened while he was sleeping over at her place.
A while back, he had a girlfriend (this was before I knew them) and she was really close to my best friend. So, she was kind of in the same situation that I’m in right know. While they were together he and my best friend made out at a party. Neither of them told her, and she found out later. I don’t want that to happen to me… He also slept with another girl while he was dating her.
I don’t want to be a jealous girlfriend and I know this is in the past, but I can’t stop myself from worrying. What do I do?
By the way, we're all 17

DoulaLC
May 18, 2014, 12:54 PM
Hi GGV7,

I don't blame you for being uncomfortable. Your boyfriend's actions in the past would understandably cause you to wonder. It may all be totally innocent between your boyfriend and your best friend, after all they have been good friends for a long time, and what happened between them may have indeed been just a tremendous error in judgement.

If the situation is just too difficult to not cause you worry, then maybe it would be best to not have him as a boyfriend. There would be no sense in continuing to cause yourself the stress and worry.

You are 17, in reality it is likely he is a boyfriend for right now that you will learn from in regard to what you want and don't want to put up with in a relationship.

No doubt you really like him, but you will really like someone else at some point if you decide not to stay with him. You can't very well ask them to not see each other so much; they are friends. You could voice your concerns and see what they have to say, but you would still need to decide how you feel about it.

Only you can decide whether their close friendship is something you can deal with or not.

odinn7
May 18, 2014, 03:33 PM
If it was me, I wouldn't put up with "sleep overs" like that from someone I'm in a relationship with. Sleep overs? What are they, 12? I am overly suspicious anyway but to me, that just seems like a little too much.

talaniman
May 18, 2014, 03:44 PM
Wow, That's a bit too close for comfort me. Even if she is your best friend(?). I mean you have the GF title, but she has as much of him, if not more, as you do!

Sleep overs??

DoulaLC
May 18, 2014, 03:46 PM
Tried to stay pretty neutral, but I'd add that as well... personally, I wouldn't put up with it. I'd be wondering if they are "friends with benefits". To me, it just wouldn't be worth the worry and wondering. At 17, there are too many other guys to waste my time not being sure whether I could trust my boyfriend and best friend.

welcometomylife
May 27, 2014, 11:59 PM
I think your boyfriend is the problem and not her at all. He's cheated on a girlfriend with someone BESIDES her, so whether it's with her or not there is a possibility he might cheat on you.

How did you find out what you know? Did your best friend tell you or did your boyfriend? Or neither? That's really important.