NDaniels82
May 13, 2014, 03:36 PM
I have fell in love with the youngest sister of one of my best friends, and for the 15 years that I've known her, I have treated her like my own younger sister. I've watched her grow from elementary to college, and even been involved in key events in and around her life, including her brother's wedding and the passing of her grandparents. Fast forward to a few years ago, we get to an age where she is beginning to experience life. At this point she's been in a relationship for a few years with her now ex, finishing school to jump-start her life's career goals, and developing very rapidly. I have always been the kind of guy to take chances (without being too pushy or weird) when it came to human nature in the sense of sexuality. Mind you at this point she is of a legal age. Well, one day I brought up my curiosity of the one day I was at their house (at the time she and her brother were still living with their parents), and was in desperate need of using the only bathroom in the house…with her in the shower to my dismay. I subtly mentioned that she had pulled the shower curtain back slightly too far to inform me that it was OK for me to just come in and use the toilet. To my surprise, this opened up quite the wormhole, starting with the sharing of some very intimate picture swapping. This eventually led to sexual encounters that lasted for about 2 years. Yes, at this point she is still with her ex, and I know what the resulting answers will yield, but there will be more explanation to it coming up.
Now we move into the more current part of the story where my problems begin. Throughout our sexual endeavors, I have been very cautious to her about several ideas surrounding these activities, including her relationship and her family, yet we kept it cool. Whenever she was down or otherwise frustrated, she was entrusted to coming to me for comfort or advice. Well, about a year and a half ago, her relationship started going sour (after he decided to pop the big question to her, which she accepted). At first, my story was that I hoped she was able to find reconciliation with him. As she started getting closer to me as she got farther from him, the story started to change to telling her to do what she felt necessary for her to be happy. That ultimately changed to ensuring that she was not breaking up with him for me. Of course, she eventually breaks up with him, and that's where the adventures start.
She ends up staying over at my house A LOT, oft times unexpected. Not every moment was a sexual encounter, although this became a moment in her life when she started exploring her sexual prowess. We also started getting real close and doing things as a couple would do, such as road trip and dinner dates, although we jointly agreed against the label between us. This all led into my current feelings, which at first I suppressed even during that time, but at the point she felt like we have gone a bit too far and got too close, she started dating around. She had also cited that she did not want me to become a rebound because she was afraid of what would become of our friendship (she had a rebound about half way through her relationship when they had broke up, and things ended a bit badly with the rebound guy). I had actually encouraged dating at the time of my feelings then when I had no intention of trying to date her.
This all somehow made my feelings surface and progress into what they are now. I had most recently brought about the idea of us dating…an idea that she turned down. She was reluctant to doing so at first, recalling what we were during the time after her break-up actually looked like two people dating, especially in the eyes of those around us. Her reasons included (again) the fear of our friendship going sour if we were to break up, and that it's hard for her to look past our brother/sister relationship. I had attempted to ensure her that our friendship would never go away, mentioning her previous failed attempts to ignore me or push me completely away to only have her come back and apologize each time, mainly after failed dates.
So here I sit on my current situation: A 15 year friendship that became tainted by love and lust, that has endured regardless, and that has brought me very close to a very unlikely candidate. So here finally is my question. What do I do? I have fallen in love with my friend and “sister”. It was so much so that I ended up confessing my feelings to her mom and sister (without the sexual fillings), who both surprisingly took it well. I guess I shouldn't hold too much hopes on her, but I'm one of the few people who actually believes that the best type of relationship can come out of a friendship. I feel the only way to remove these feelings is to remove her from my life, which is something I know I can't do and would hurt even more by doing so.
Forgot to mention current ages: I'm 32, and she's 24.
Now we move into the more current part of the story where my problems begin. Throughout our sexual endeavors, I have been very cautious to her about several ideas surrounding these activities, including her relationship and her family, yet we kept it cool. Whenever she was down or otherwise frustrated, she was entrusted to coming to me for comfort or advice. Well, about a year and a half ago, her relationship started going sour (after he decided to pop the big question to her, which she accepted). At first, my story was that I hoped she was able to find reconciliation with him. As she started getting closer to me as she got farther from him, the story started to change to telling her to do what she felt necessary for her to be happy. That ultimately changed to ensuring that she was not breaking up with him for me. Of course, she eventually breaks up with him, and that's where the adventures start.
She ends up staying over at my house A LOT, oft times unexpected. Not every moment was a sexual encounter, although this became a moment in her life when she started exploring her sexual prowess. We also started getting real close and doing things as a couple would do, such as road trip and dinner dates, although we jointly agreed against the label between us. This all led into my current feelings, which at first I suppressed even during that time, but at the point she felt like we have gone a bit too far and got too close, she started dating around. She had also cited that she did not want me to become a rebound because she was afraid of what would become of our friendship (she had a rebound about half way through her relationship when they had broke up, and things ended a bit badly with the rebound guy). I had actually encouraged dating at the time of my feelings then when I had no intention of trying to date her.
This all somehow made my feelings surface and progress into what they are now. I had most recently brought about the idea of us dating…an idea that she turned down. She was reluctant to doing so at first, recalling what we were during the time after her break-up actually looked like two people dating, especially in the eyes of those around us. Her reasons included (again) the fear of our friendship going sour if we were to break up, and that it's hard for her to look past our brother/sister relationship. I had attempted to ensure her that our friendship would never go away, mentioning her previous failed attempts to ignore me or push me completely away to only have her come back and apologize each time, mainly after failed dates.
So here I sit on my current situation: A 15 year friendship that became tainted by love and lust, that has endured regardless, and that has brought me very close to a very unlikely candidate. So here finally is my question. What do I do? I have fallen in love with my friend and “sister”. It was so much so that I ended up confessing my feelings to her mom and sister (without the sexual fillings), who both surprisingly took it well. I guess I shouldn't hold too much hopes on her, but I'm one of the few people who actually believes that the best type of relationship can come out of a friendship. I feel the only way to remove these feelings is to remove her from my life, which is something I know I can't do and would hurt even more by doing so.
Forgot to mention current ages: I'm 32, and she's 24.