wendya2010
May 9, 2014, 11:05 AM
Okay guys I need some advice. So around November 2013 my fiancé and father of my 2 children left me for a girl that he met a work. This is how it started. I helped him get the job back in October of 2013. Around the beginning of November I found out he was Facebook messaging this girl that he had worked with. Politely I asked him to stop because I just had a gut feeling that it wasn't going to end right. I knew she wanted more from him but he told me I was crazy and that she was married and they were just friends. Well I kept checking his messages because I knew my gut wasn't letting me down this time.
Eventually he started deleting the messages so that I could not read them so that tells me he was hiding something. When I confronted him about it he got really mad and that's when he left me for her. He has admitted to me that he lived in a hotel room with her for about 2 or 3 weeks and they had, had multiple sexual encounters. Of course I was really upset. I have 2 kids with him and have been with him for 5 years.
Well finally he decided that he wanted to come home and that she wasn't what she said she was (of course). She would go back and forth between my ex-finance and her husband and kept telling my ex that she was going to leave her husband for him but she never did she just kept swapping so my ex finally got tired of it and wanted to come home. Said he missed me and the kids. Of course I let him come back. I truly love him and wouldn't want my life without him.
Within the time that he had left which was a total of like 2 or 3 months I had lost 18 pounds. I was so upset that I couldn't eat without getting sick. I couldn't sleep I was just so depressed. I never thought that would happen to us because I tried so hard to give him anything he asks because I love him that much. Anyway now that we are back together I'm having a hard time. Its always in the back of my head: Is he still talking to her and hiding it from me? Is he talking to other people at his work? Is he going to leave me again the next time a piece of comes his way? Why did he do it in the first place? Just so many questions but I just don't know how to get over it.
We have talked about it but he doesn't like to talk about it much. He says he feels really bad about it and just wants to move on and not talk about it anymore. But there is just so much unanswered. I don't know how to get this out of my mind. I feel bad for snooping through his stuff but I'm just so worried. I don't know if I could bear that pain again. I have been with this guy since I was in the 11th grade and I have put my heart and soul into our relationship. I just need some advice from someone other than my parents, and I don't want to hear you don't need to be with him or blah blah blah.
My question is what can help me get over this fear of him leaving again? What can get it off my mind 24/7? What can help getting me to trust him again and go back to our normal family. I love this guy and he never cheated but he left me and that puts a huge dent in my self esteem also. I no longer feel beautiful and I no longer feel like I am good enough for anyone and that everyone is going to leave me. I feel like I am over weight. I've just lost all self confidence because why else would he leave me if I was doing everything else for him? I just need some advise to help me please.
Eventually he started deleting the messages so that I could not read them so that tells me he was hiding something. When I confronted him about it he got really mad and that's when he left me for her. He has admitted to me that he lived in a hotel room with her for about 2 or 3 weeks and they had, had multiple sexual encounters. Of course I was really upset. I have 2 kids with him and have been with him for 5 years.
Well finally he decided that he wanted to come home and that she wasn't what she said she was (of course). She would go back and forth between my ex-finance and her husband and kept telling my ex that she was going to leave her husband for him but she never did she just kept swapping so my ex finally got tired of it and wanted to come home. Said he missed me and the kids. Of course I let him come back. I truly love him and wouldn't want my life without him.
Within the time that he had left which was a total of like 2 or 3 months I had lost 18 pounds. I was so upset that I couldn't eat without getting sick. I couldn't sleep I was just so depressed. I never thought that would happen to us because I tried so hard to give him anything he asks because I love him that much. Anyway now that we are back together I'm having a hard time. Its always in the back of my head: Is he still talking to her and hiding it from me? Is he talking to other people at his work? Is he going to leave me again the next time a piece of comes his way? Why did he do it in the first place? Just so many questions but I just don't know how to get over it.
We have talked about it but he doesn't like to talk about it much. He says he feels really bad about it and just wants to move on and not talk about it anymore. But there is just so much unanswered. I don't know how to get this out of my mind. I feel bad for snooping through his stuff but I'm just so worried. I don't know if I could bear that pain again. I have been with this guy since I was in the 11th grade and I have put my heart and soul into our relationship. I just need some advice from someone other than my parents, and I don't want to hear you don't need to be with him or blah blah blah.
My question is what can help me get over this fear of him leaving again? What can get it off my mind 24/7? What can help getting me to trust him again and go back to our normal family. I love this guy and he never cheated but he left me and that puts a huge dent in my self esteem also. I no longer feel beautiful and I no longer feel like I am good enough for anyone and that everyone is going to leave me. I feel like I am over weight. I've just lost all self confidence because why else would he leave me if I was doing everything else for him? I just need some advise to help me please.