My ex wife and I have joint custody of our 17 yr old son and I have physical custody. Can I give her physical custody without going to court

I don't know about the physical custody part of it but your son is l7 and depending upon the state in which you live will be able to move out on his own possibly at 18 and will be considered an adult. Why does this matter now ?

As noted, in less than a year it won't matter and it may take that long to go through the courts.

As long as you and your ex agree, he can live with either of you. However, if there is an issue of child support then you would have to go to court to modify that. On the other hand, if she is paying you support, you can just return it to her or not accept it. Again the only time this would be an issue is if you don't agree.

Is there child support involved and is it through the state ?

No child support is involved. I denied the guide line support and I have a 15 yr old daughter who is staying with me. My ex had made comments about me paying her child support if he moves in with her and I told her it would offset since I still have my daughter

If no support is involved then custody can change hands at any time. Just make sure to document everything. If child support had been an issue then custody must pass through the courts because the person with the former custody would still be able to collect.

That is why it is very important to document everything and sign agreements between both parties.

No child support is involved. I denied the guide line support and I have a 15 yr old daughter who is staying with me. My ex had made comments about me paying her child support if he moves in with her and I told her it would offset since I still have my daughter

So you are telling her, that if she asks for support for your son, you will ask for support for her daughter. That's a good way to end that threat.

But, as noted, as long as you two can agree, the courts can be left out.

As noted, in less than a year it won't matter and it may take that long to go through the courts.

As long as you and your ex agree, he can live with either of you. However, if there is an issue of child support then you would have to go to court to modify that. On the other hand, if she is paying you support, you can just return it to her or not accept it. Again the only time this would be an issue is if you don't agree.

Is there a form that needs to be filled out and filed with the courts or do we write up an agreement and sign it. This is riverside California.

Thank you guys so much. I am so done with my ex and her thoughts of being a much better parent than me. The 6 weeks she has had him he has been truant from school several days and lets him do what he wants to do. He didn't want to follow my rules and being very disrespectful to siblings and teachers. So I let him go to his mothers because she says she can do a better job.


So you are telling her, that if she asks for support for your son, you will ask for support for her daughter. That's a good way to end that threat.

But, as noted, as long as you two can agree, the courts can be left out.
Thank you very much Scott.

You really don't need to do anything, but a written note stating he will be living with her should suffice.

Why does it have to be anything official? Just leave it at an extended visit and screw her, and child support. Too bad and mom and dad can't put their differences aside and get to the real problem of his unruly behavior in BOTH house.