Ok well here's the thing I want to get out of the house that I'm living in. I can't stand living here anymore. I'm 15 years of age and my dad drives me nuts. When he is home and I come home from school or something he will start yelling at me for something really stupid. I want to get out of this house really badly. I ran twice from here and got taken back by the social worker and the problem is still going on. I've told her all the problems I had here and all those problems still remain. I ask something from my dad like going to to sleep at a friends house he always has an instant reply by saying no while he yells it. I feel like I'm nothing when I live here and I need help fast. :(

YOU cannot make that type of choice.
Foster care is NOT an easy way out nor something that you actually choose instead of simply growing up.

Gee... why am I surprised you can't see the real problem here. Its you... sorry , but you don't run the house... your parents do.

Where do you get the idea at 15 you get to do anything you want anytime you want? When you are 18 and move out and support yourself you get to decide... until then you listen and do what you are told.

If you think you will be allowed to do any of this in a foster home..(which incidently isn't your decision to make either). you are sadly mistaken.

Well anything I ask for and I mean anything, I never get it, I know its something to think about but I have been thinking for far to long now. Everyday it's the same thing and I can't take it for much to long. What do I do?

No, you can't go into foster care unless your parents give you up. And you definitely wouldn't want to do that.

Are you participating in family life, doing your chores (without being asked and even doing ones not assigned to you), doing well in school, playing with siblings (especially younger ones)? Where's your mother in all this?

Well anything I ask for and I mean anything, I never get it,
Like what? Name three things you've asked for. And how do you ask?

How many sibs do you have? Is family money tight? Do you have a job -- even a paper route or doing lawn work?

I do everything they ask for I even help my dad sometimes when he needs help at work and its not a choice I HAVE to go according to him. Yes I go to school but right now now very often. I'm being bullied because the way I look. Because I look a lot older then everyone els in the school and this has been something that has been constantly happening. I always bring my little sister to the park and no I'm not participating in anything. I love to play basketball and they won't even put me into a team out of school. I've asked for that for so long and my mom and dad both no I love playing basketball. And I still haven't played on a team. Just because they always say no.

Getting things you want are rewards for good behavior... argue with them, don't do what's expected before you have to be asked to do it... and they won't give you something as a punishment.

Hate to tell you but adult life is like this... you have to earn everything... and I do mean everything. Nothing is "given" to you. And it will be years before you earn enough to get many things you want... because you have to pay for the things you NEED first. That's as an adult when you live on your own.

Just being brutally honest... it doesn't get easier than it is now when you are on your own. Right now you have few responsibilities and someone else pays for everything. When you turn 18 and move out... you have all the responsibilities and nobody pays for anything.

AS long as you live in their home you follow their rules... even as an adult.

I have two sibs. One younger 10 years of age and older 21 years of age living with his fiancé. I have asked to be put on a small basketball league for 3 years now and I always ask them nicely, I have asked for some new games for my system, and for minutes for my cell phone. I would always ask them with a may I please get put in to that league or may I please get a game, do you think I could get minutes for my phone. No I do not have a job but I do mow all of my back yard and front yard or my house. I haven't gotten my social insurance number for me to be able to get a job.

I do everything they ask for I even help my dad sometimes when he needs help at work and its not a choice I HAVE to go according to him. Yes I go to school but right now now very often. I'm being bullied because the way I look. Because I look a lot older then everyone els in the school and this has been something that has been constantly happening. I always bring my little sister to the park and no I'm not participating in anything. I love to play basketball and they won't even put me into a team out of school. I've asked for that for so long and my mom and dad both no I love playing basketball. And I still haven't played on a team. Just because they always say no.
So you complain when your dad asks you for help, you're skipping school, you can't appreciate the fact that you look older than everyone else at school and turn that into a plus, and you can't play basketball unless you are on the school team? (Maybe your grades aren't good enough?) Oh, and you ALWAYS bring your sister to the park. Right. What am I missing here?

So you complain when your dad asks you for help, you're skipping school, you can't appreciate the fact that you look older than everyone else at school and turn that into a plus, and you can't play basketball unless you are on the school team? (Maybe your grades aren't good enough?) Oh, and you ALWAYS bring your sister to the park. Right. What am I missing here?
None of you are making it better for me... yes I do bring her to the park because every time I go and play basketball to practice I briing her to the park that is right in front of the court. I never skipped school but until last week and this week. I never complain when I have to go work with him because I know I'm going to get yelled at. And people make fun of me and how I look. They call me fat, ugly , a nark ( undercover cop) piece of $h!t worthless piece of crap and it hasn't been just this year it has been for the past 3 years already.

None of you are making it better for me...
What are YOU doing to make it better for you?

I never skipped school but until last week and this week.
Go back to school!

people make fun of me and how I look. They call me fat, ugly , a nark ( undercover cop) piece of $h!t worthless piece of crap and it hasn't been just this year it has been for the past 3 years already.
So make a joke out of their remarks. Talk to a teacher you like and trust. Tell the principal.

Why do you have a game system (and games) and a cell phone? Those are pretty nice to have -- and expensive.

Where is Mom in all this?

What are YOU doing to make it better for you?

Go back to school! i do go to school. always in school always have been. other than this and last week. because of this situation o have in the school.

So make a joke out of their remarks. Talk to a teacher you like and trust. Tell the principal. i have told a teacher and the principal. im new to the school. gr 9.
they said they would helped for the past 4 weeks iv been going there and nothing has changed a bit.

Why do you have a game system (and games) and a cell phone? Those are pretty nice to have -- and expensive. i got my self an xbox 360 3 years ago. i barley play it now but still use it once and a while. and for my cell phone its 30$ a month, i dont get allowance for doing anything. even if they dont ask me to do it or they tell me they would pay me to do it, i never got the money in return.

Where is Mom in all this?

When I'm 16 am I able to leave the house that I am in?

If you are American, you are considered an adult at 18 in most jurisdictions.

Maybe you can tell us the state and county you live in so we know which laws apply, and tell us your situation. Why do you wish to move?

Threads have been merged since they deal with the same issue of you wanting to leave home.

It also keeps all information and advice in one place so people can know what has already been advised.

I don't want to beat up more on you but let me see if I can help at all as the parent of a teenager.

First, teenagers find their parents and siblings annoying-
It's a normal developmental milestone. So yay... You are normal! If you didn't find your family suffocating, overbearing and annoying at times, you would have no motivation to become more responsible, adult and independent. Let the bad feelings be your motivation.

School is your ticket out of there and good grades are as good as cash. Get good grades and you can get scholarships for university. See every class, assignment and year of school as a chance to prove what you are made of.

As for the bullying, you can sit in your room with your old video games and feel badly, or do something about it. If you aren't in good shape, get in good shape. Prove these jerks wrong. Over summer, get in the best shape of your life. You can for free. Push ups, sit ups, lunges, squats, running. Whenever someone does something to bring you down, do something to build yourself up. Do you need a haircut? Should you see a factor to improve your skin? Whatever you get teased for, think about whether it is a social cue that could benefit you and act on it. If not, and it is just stupid, ask yourself why you care what stupid people say.

Whatever you want family to give you, you have to give happiness to yourself. They call you immature, be sure through your behavior that it is not true. Happiness is a choice. Some people are happy and some aren't, but if you look closely long enough, you will see it is a choice of how to respond to regular life. I choose to be happy. I could find a lot if reasons to feel miserable, but I focus on my blessings and work on my needs and goals.

In a few short years you will be ready for university and what you do now -not what your parents do - will decide what options you will have at that time.

If you are American, you are considered an adult at 18 in most jurisdictions.

Maybe you can tell us the state and county you live in so we know which laws apply, and tell us your situation. Why do you wish to move?

I live in Canada Ontario living in hamilton. I would like to get out of here because of my father. He's always on my back, doesn't give me freedom like going to hang with my friends or doesn't drive me any where even when I ask nicely. He literally yells at every little thing. Ill come home from school he will complain that my room is a mess mean while its one side of the bed that is a mess. I do my chores and all that, I wtach my sis when they need me to, but its always the same crap, I lost my best friends because of him, there all scared of him because he screams every 3 minutes (literally) he has beaten me before almost broke my nose as a kid, won't let me join any sports out side of school or in. just seems like he could really careless about me, all he ever does is go to work come home and yell at me and only me, I have a younger sis and she's 10 I understand she is younger and all but once and a while I think I can deserve something to. I never play my games because there all old and boring and I have asked for just one new game and he would just cause a seen and start yelling and of course my mom just lets him go on and on and on. Srry for this paragraph I just feel like I'm a total fail in life. That's why I think he is always yelling at me because I'm just nothing.

You have a game system? You have a phone? Gee doesn't sound that bad.

You have a game system? You have a phone? Gee doesn't sound that bad.

I have a phone that hasn't been working for 5 months now because they stopped paying for no apparent reason and my game system is boring all the games are very old and or broken .

I have a 15 year old son. He loves his Xbox. He loves to get new games. When he wants a new one, he has to earn it. He had to earn the Xbox as well. Everything he has, he's earned, except for gifts (birthday, Christmas).

He doesn't have a cell phone, because I don't believe he needs one. He does just fine without one. He does want one, but he's been told that he has to purchase it himself, and pay the fees himself. Who pays for your cell phone and fees? Why should you get a new game when you want one? What do you do to earn it?

My son picks up dog crap in the back yard. We have two dogs, and they poo at least 2 times a day each. That's a lot of crap. He also empties the dishwasher, keeps his room clean, mows the lawn in summer, shovels the snow in winter, picks up the poo, takes care of the gerbils (cleaning their cage, daily water, daily food) and helps with dinner every night. He doesn't complain. Why are you complaining?

I have a 15 year old son. He loves his Xbox. He loves to get new games. When he wants a new one, he has to earn it. He had to earn the Xbox as well. Everything he has, he's earned, except for gifts (birthday, Christmas).

He doesn't have a cell phone, because I don't believe he needs one. He does just fine without one. He does want one, but he's been told that he has to purchase it himself, and pay the fees himself. Who pays for your cell phone and fees? Why should you get a new game when you want one? What do you do to earn it?

My son picks up dog crap in the back yard. We have two dogs, and they poo at least 2 times a day each. That's a lot of crap. He also empties the dishwasher, keeps his room clean, mows the lawn in summer, shovels the snow in winter, picks up the poo, takes care of the gerbils (cleaning their cage, daily water, daily food) and helps with dinner every night. He doesn't complain. Why are you complaining?

I walk my dog everyday at 6 pm I pick up her poop I have to clean all the cigarette butts of the floor with my bare hands and a bag, I do the dishes after dinner I clean my room all the time, its always cleaned, I do my own laundry
I mow the grass , I vacuum the house 2 times a week, they paid for my phone bill 30 bucks a month but they stopped even though I'm still doing what I have done for a long time. They ask me for help I do it all the time I don't complain to them I just do it. But sometimes I want something in return and yes they feed me and keep me under a roof but sometimes a game or something would be nice.

Oh.. that's rich... the little kids are bullying you because you are bigger and look older than they do. Why do I find that hard to believe. The little kids live in fear the bigger ones knowing they would get their butts kicked if they caused problems with them.


As far as getting on a team? WHO are you asking... your parents don't put you on a team... and for a school team you have to tryout... and prove you are one of the better players... everyone doesn't get to play because they want to... only the better players get to be on a team. They are only allowed by league rules to have a certain number of kids on a team... and not one more. Its not T-Ball.

And of course your grades have to be above a certain number they specify.

I don't know where you think you are going to get a job at 15. Child labor laws apply unless it's a family business. And with the economy... businesses would rather hire adults that actually need the money to live rather than spend on stuff they don't need like a kid. Plus your average adult has a far better work ethic than your average teenager has.

I've been your age before... I remember it extremely well... I also have the benefit of hindsight. Meaning I know for a fact everything you think is sooooooooooo important right now in a just a couple years will not matter at all to you. And its not just you... it happens to all kids your age. You aren't a child any longer, but you have a long ways to go before you are an adult. Physically and even more importantly... emotionally, and in maturity (which is the last thing you really develope). Its an awkward stage in life.

And even more importantly...your average kid thinks their parents have a lot more money than they actually have.

Oh.. that's rich... the little kids are bullying you because you are bigger and look older than they do. Why do I find that hard to believe. The little kids live in fear the bigger ones knowing they would get their butts kicked if they caused problems with them.


As far as getting on a team? WHO are you asking... your parents don't put you on a team... and for a school team you have to tryout... and prove you are one of the better players... everyone doesn't get to play because they want to... only the better players get to be on a team. They are only allowed by league rules to have a certain number of kids on a team... and not one more. Its not T-Ball.

And of course your grades have to be above a certain number they specify.

I don't know where you think you are going to get a job at 15. Child labor laws apply unless it's a family business. And with the economy... businesses would rather hire adults that actually need the money to live rather than spend on stuff they don't need. Plus your average adult has a far better worth ethic than your average teenager has.

I've been your age before... I remember it extremely well... I also have the benefit of hindsight. Meaning I know for a fact everything you think is sooooooooooo important right now in a just a couple years will not matter at all to you. And its not just you... it happens to all kids your age. You aren't a child any longer, but you have a long ways to go before you are an adult. Physically and even more importantly... emotionally, and in maturity (which is the last thing you really develope).

K for one I do go and try to sign up but u know mister your PARENTS need to SIGN a PAPER saying they can PARTICIPATE... and there not little kids who bully me, gr 10s 11s 12s im in gr 9.

I walk my dog everyday at 6 pm I pick up her poop I have to clean all the cigarette butts of the floor with my bare hands and a bag, I do the dishes after dinner I clean my room all the time, its always cleaned, I do my own laundry
I mow the grass , I vacuum the house 2 times a week, they paid for my phone bill 30 bucks a month but they stopped even though I'm still doing what I have done for a long time. They ask me for help I do it all the time I don't complain to them I just do it. But sometimes I want something in return and yes they feed me and keep me under a roof but sometimes a game or something would be nice.

Kiddo, I have a teen. I'm not buying this.

Let's be completely honest here. How wonderful are you really? How good are you really? Because unless your parents are horrible people, abusive monsters, if you're doing everything you say you're doing, there's no reason for them to be acting this way, unless they really are monsters. After reading your posts, it's all about what you want and you're not getting. No abuse mentioned, other than dad yelling. Maybe dad yells because you're not as perfect as you're telling us you are.

So, if you're as wonderful as you're saying you are, and they're still punishing you, call CPS. Get the system involved. If you want to be in foster care, where you won't even have a gaming system, much less new games or a phone, and won't even be able to watch what you want on TV, then get the system involved. Call CPS on them, tell CPS you're being abused. They'll come to your home, they'll talk to you, your parents, your sister, they'll search the home, and if they find that your claims are true, they'll remove you from the home. But once that happens, and you're in foster care, you can't call mommy and daddy begging them to take you back once you realize how horrible foster care is. Once you're in the system, you're in. Mommy and Daddy can't help you anymore.

So how bad is it really? Because I have to tell you kid, you seem to have it pretty darn good. From your posts, you seem like the typical teen, that expects the world for a few chores. If you want a new game, do it the way everyone else does. Earn it!

Kiddo, I have a teen. I'm not buying this.

Let's be completely honest here. How wonderful are you really? How good are you really? Because unless your parents are horrible people, abusive monsters, if you're doing everything you say you're doing, there's no reason for them to be acting this way, unless they really are monsters. After reading your posts, it's all about what you want and you're not getting. No abuse mentioned, other than dad yelling. Maybe dad yells because you're not as perfect as you're telling us you are.

So, if you're as wonderful as you're saying you are, and they're still punishing you, call CPS. Get the system involved. If you want to be in foster care, where you won't even have a gaming system, much less new games or a phone, and won't even be able to watch what you want on TV, then get the system involved. Call CPS on them, tell CPS you're being abused. They'll come to your home, they'll talk to you, your parents, your sister, they'll search the home, and if they find that your claims are true, they'll remove you from the home. But once that happens, and you're in foster care, you can't call mommy and daddy begging them to take you back once you realize how horrible foster care is. Once you're in the system, you're in. Mommy and Daddy can't help you anymore.

So how bad is it really? Because I have to tell you kid, you seem to have it pretty darn good. From your posts, you seem like the typical teen, that expects the world for a few chores. If you want a new game, do it the way everyone else does. Earn it!


Your all ing blind!! This site is bull!! Mine as well ing end everything!

Your all ing blind!! This site is bull!! Mine as well ing end everything!

We base our posts on what you write.

Like I said. If it's as bad as you say, call CPS. Tell your school counselor that you're being abused, he/she will call CPS. Once CPS is involved, they'll investigate. If you're being abused, like you say you are, you'll be removed from the home, placed in foster care until you're 18.

We don't have to believe you. We read what you write, and based on what you have written, you're a teen that expects his parents to give him everything he wants, and you're upset when they don't. You're upset when you're yelled at for not doing what you're supposed to do. That's normal teen behavior. Sadly, that doesn't mean you're being abused, it means you're being parented. It means your parents are trying to prepare you to be a man.

But you obviously feel that your home life is unbearable. That's worth considering. So call CPS. Let them decide if you should or shouldn't stay in the home you're in now.

If they find that everything is okay, you can ask to become an emancipated minor. That means that you'd be responsible for yourself. You'd have to prove to the courts that you can support yourself (pay your own bills, put a roof over your head, food on the table, and continue your education without anyone's help), and if the courts find that you're capable, you can become emancipated, and leave your home. At that point it's all on you. In other words, if you want a new game, you'll have to buy it, while paying rent, buying your own food, paying for your own education, your own school supplies, transportation to school and work because you will need a job, medication, and anything else you want or need. That's what being an adult is about, and that's what you need to be if you want to move out.

K for one I do go and try to sign up but u know mister your PARENTS need to SIGN a PAPER saying they can PARTICIPATE... and there not little kids who bully me, gr 10s 11s 12s im in gr 9.


That's life. Its always been that way... in fact it used to be worse than it is today. You learn who to avoid and where. Its called coping skills and common sense. You need to learn it before you find yourself mugged or killed in a dark alley. YOu learn to size people up quickly and know who to avoid to not have problems. Consider it a crucial life skill.

Think I didn't deal with Bullies growing up? You'd be wrong if you said no. And we had a lot of them... you grow a spine. If they aren't knocking you down. Slamming you against a locker, or dragging you into the boys restroom to punch a few times... then no you aren't being bullied. If you can't cope with some name calling by the kids in higher grades... maybe its time to trade in your boys clothes and trade them for girls clothes. And grow some skin. You are going to be in for one hell of a rough ride when you become an adult and have to survive in the real world. It really is take no prisoners. I took on any bully that caused me problems....I got my butt kicked by a few....I kicked the butts of a few.....but I earned the respect of all of them, not by putting the fear of god in them..but by standing up for myself and not doing what they did.

And cutting off your personal cell phone at $30 a month... bwaaahahaha. Be glad you have one at all... your dad might have to work 2 or more hours to pay for that after taxes. EVERY month. You act like it's a travesty you ONLY get $30 a month. Sorry... that's really showing immaturity and greed. And it shows no concept of the value of a dollar.

I'm not old enough to have grey hair yet... but when I was your age... $1 a month for an allowance was a damn generous allowance. Not getting $30 and complaining about that. Who at the ripe old age of 15 do you HAVE to call that often and long to burn through that much a month?

My wife doesn't use that much a month, and she has a full time job with a bank.

The poster sounds like a spoiled and selfish child. They seem to have to do what children are suppose to do, and is not happy.

You need to recognize we aren't a bunch of teenagers for the most part, answering these questions. We're parents, many with teens or kids who have grown beyond their teens. Like your parents, we have life experience that exceeds your own, so our insight may seem harsh but it's based on the fact that life can be harsh.

Not getting enough new video games (or any) is not abusive. I never bought my son any video games and didn't even allow him to have any until he was well into high school and had a B average. When he got a phone, he had to do extra work to earn it - it wasn't just given for regular chores. If he abused it (including taking it for granted and having an attitude that I owed it to him), I took it away, at times for a month or more. Your parents may have financial issues that they don't want to discuss with you. Or they may feel that you spend too much time playing video games and they do not wish to encourage more of it. They may want you to change your overall attitude. You do have a bad attitude and may not actually come out and say negative things about what you are asked to do - and we can't know, this is a question to ask yourself - you may convey the bad attitude through your body language, facial expressions or other ways. My son has an eye-roll that can irritate me to the point where I barely want to give him food - it's SOOOO rude and irritating I just want to get through to him how priviledged he is.

No matter what though, you are getting close - not there yet but you're close - to being able to move on to college, or trade school to learn to support yourself, and there's financing available to help you do it if you're parents can't or won't help you. In the meantime, start getting yourself set up to go. Work as much as you can, save as much as you can and work on whatever you don't like about yourself. This is the thing though - you can't fix anyone else. You probably would like your family more if you didn't live with them, and that time will come. In the meantime, try to be respectful and helpful, and recognize that this is just a time in life that's difficult for family relationships. Most kids want to move out before they can. Just try not to do any damage to the relationship because you always have the option to create more distance later, but if you do it now, it can be hard to fix later.

You should be aware, and I'm not saying this to sound mean, but you do sound kind of spoiled. The things you are complaining about are quite trivial really, and the chores you do are pretty standard. If you do them without complaining, well, you're meeting the basic standard - it's not something people "owe you" more for. Your parents likely don't complain about what they do to keep the family afloat and the house running either. You all have that in common.

It's also immature to threaten that you might as well "end it all" and stuff like that. That's not a solution and it's kind of a controlling thing to say - like if people don't tell you what you want to hear, and do what you want them to do, you won't want to live. Please don't say that to people. In fact, you can be institutionalized for saying things like that - if you don't like living with your folks, just try a mental hospital.

Just hang in there, be productive, keep a positive attitude, and when people get on your nerves or try to get you down, do something to move your life forward whether working a bit more, doing more homework, exercising or making social plans. And if you're not involved in after school stuff, get involved. The best way to tolerate your family is to be too busy to be home all the time! I enjoyed my family through high school but I was also on the paper, in the plays, in band, on speech team - may sound nerdy to you but I had a lot of fun, made a lot of friends, and best of all - I wasn't home much!

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to dontknownuthin again.

I couldn't agree more. Well said!