My boyfriend and I will have been together for two years in July. He is from a town 45 minutes away and up and left his life there to be with me. We have lived together since we got together. We live with my mother, two 18 year old sisters, and one of my sister's boyfriend. I am 20 and he is 24. We are slowly working on getting our own place but it is severely difficult. He loves me to death. We are best friends and have a ton in common. So why doesn't he treat me how he used to when we first got together?

I know people say one you're out of the "honeymoon stage" everything changes and that original kindness and love never comes back, but he treats me great when we are alone. When we are around friends or family he treats me like some male chauvinist . For instance, today I called for him to come to our room so I could show him something. I called for him like six times before he acknowledged me and he said "I'm not your slave. " which in turn truly angered my mother. But in my opinion, he's just being smartass and it doesn't offend me. But it offends my mother.

When we first got together he would hold me all the time. We would cuddle and watch movies and t.v. and eat dinner together and we had fun all the time. Now he is always outside hanging out with his friends or sitting by himself drinking beer.

Is he not interested anymore? Everything I say something to him about it he's adamant that he hasn't changed and that he isn't rude to me in front of others. But it really bothers me. I don't think he is uninterested... because if he was I'm 100% positive that he would have moved back to his home town to be with his friends and family. But he uis still here with me living with my mom and my sisters. I love him more than anything but sometimes I wonder if I am just used to him.Like I'm just accustomed to having him around all the time. But he is my best friend. I don't want to lose him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want more than anything in this world to make him happy. But lately it seems that I can't make him happy to save my life. I feel like a failure. Like I can't make him happy anymore. To top it off, I've gained so much weight. I am slowly losing it but I have gained weight so I feel sexually unattractive to him. He swears he still thinks I'm sexy but I just feel like I have ruined myself for him. Oh my gosh what do I do? Please help me.

He's 24, he's still very much a boy, not yet a man. He wants to hang out with his friends, drink, be silly.

Your mother may be part of the problem. Not coming when you call him 6 times because you want to show him something, isn't a bad thing. He isn't your puppy. He doesn't have to come when you call him. I'd be ticked too if I had to come when someone called, and I was either busy, or didn't want to, and knew it wasn't life or death. Why him not coming when you call is a big deal, I don't know.

Have you talked to him about how you feel? If you want to make this work, and he does too, you both have to talk to each other. Stop listening to mommy, and others. Think for yourself, and figure out your relationship, the two of you, and no one else.

I know people say one you're out of the "honeymoon stage" everything changes and that original kindness and love never comes back, but he treats me great when we are alone.

See... heres where you are very wrong. Because its not love that doesn't come back... what goes away is lust... you haven't developed real love yet (as a couple anyway)... and its possible you never will. But it usually doesn't come in until the initial lust is fading. That's why I ALWAYS tell people to date at least three years before even planning on getting married. Having lust is common early in relationship... having it actually bloom into love later is really quite rare.

I think its pretty clear from his actions... that lust wore off... but it wasn't replaced with love. You can't force something that just isn't meant to be... and apparently this isn't...

I agree with both the previous posters about being able to communicate, and addressing the lust fading, and dealing with what's left. Its even worse since you have the added stress of a crowded home and MANY adult to deal with, and that can confuse and add chaos into a confused situation.

Young people bringing their partners home to LIVE with them is challenging enough, and growing together is a lot more difficult. Yes, I think you got attached too fast and are under too many things beyond your control for this to really be an easy thing. Hard to bond and work on personal issues when you have so many milling about doing what they do,especially MOM. I suspect he just left his family for yours but the real issue is neither of you can stand on there own, so I doubt you can stand together, and fact is you have NOT.

So living together was a really lousy idea in the first place. Too much, too fast, crash and burn. You BOTH should be working on building a foundation for your futures, as individuals, because all you both bring to the table are youth and inexperience among more youth and inexperience. A high price to pay for a best friend to sleep with.

Sorry, send him home and get your feet under you so you can stand alone, on your own, without the weight of others. Are you both working? If so the plan is lousy, if not the plan is lousy. Change the plan.

No anticipation during the 45 minute drive any more. Too easy. Too convenient. Also maybe some attempt to not appear already henpecked in front of others.