I found out that my girlfriend is an escort by looking at the history on the computer. She is booked up with an escort agency with pictures of her on a profile. She must have been lying to me about where she has been going. I just don't know how to feel/think/act. Im confused..

Ask her.

Well consider the significantly elevated risk of contracting an STD... no matter how careful she is.

If you can't deal with her sleeping with large numbers of men, and most guys won't be able to. Simply walk away from her. But ask her and see what her answer is first.

She says she hasn't done any escort work, just that her profile is up on the website. To be honest, that is bad enough for me. I have a lot of pride. Just wanted to get others peoples take on the situation

She says that but really...why would she be on there if she hasn't done it? I think you know the answer.

WHy would her profile be up there if she wasn't doing it... planning on doing it... or isn't doing it?

Most women would be justifiably righteously indignant if one was posted using her picture.

Some of those have phone numbers... did you try calling it to see if it rings when she is close enough to hear it ring?

If it did... thats a slam dunk she's feeding you lies about it. THen what else is she lieing about?

I called the escort agency to see if my girlfriend was working today (I didn't tell them that it was my girlfriend) and they said she was.. I then rang her to see where she was, and she said she was at the gym. My good friend confirmed this by telling me she actually was at the gym..

You do know how to think, feel, and act but you are trying to somehow make yourself rationalize it and accept it. The old adage of what looks right might be wrong, but what looks wrong has gotta be wrong" applies here and in many other cases. Cut your losses, get out of the relationship OR accept it and both get tested, say once per week, and pray.
Often, the first impression is 100% accurate and requires no further consideration. This is one of those instances.

I called the escort agency to see if my girlfriend was working today (I didn't tell them that it was my girlfriend) and they said she was.. I then rang her to see where she was, and she said she was at the gym. My good friend confirmed this by telling me she actually was at the gym..

Honestly did you know the girl before she became your "girlfriend". Maybe you didn't know her as well as you should have. Learn from this and next time take your time knowing the person you want to be with on that level. It will save you from things like this.

And honestly, the sequel, you might want to reconsider your path with this girl if you have to call an escort agency to find out where and what your girlfriend is up to.

Honestly did you know the girl before she became your "girlfriend". Maybe you didn't know her as well as you should have. Learn from this and next time take your time knowing the person you want to be with on that level. It will save you from things like this.

And honestly, the sequel, you might want to reconsider your path with this girl if you have to call an escort agency to find out where and what your girlfriend is up to.

100% right

100% right

Don't beat yourself up from this man. Just learn from it and never let it happen again. And never settle for dishonesty out of someone because you and I and the rest of us deserve better than that.

Thanks everyone. If anyone else could put some more input into this I would be grateful. Thank you

I've known a couple women who worked as escorts....they were friends who knew we well enough to confide in me, none of them would you have guessed did it....they were all mothers with nice homes in nice neighborhoods.... just because the Agency says they were "working" that day... doesn't mean they go to a specific office and sit there and wait like you might have seen in some movies... that means they are "on-call" if someone asks for them... they go about their daily business in the meanwhile.

They were not streetwalkers giving $20 BJ's.....we are talking $600 - $1,200 per hour courtesans as they preferred to be called.

I call them prostitutes or whores. I didn't know about how that worked. That makes things a little clearer for me.

I'm glad I added that bit... was thinking about what you said about the gym and started thinking you might have believed she couldnt be working if she was there at the gym.

Its been done that way since Beepers were invented... and with Cell phones... they can be anywhere before being called. Nobody would be sitting in a common office due to plausible deniability in case of a raid.

Sure there are old fassioned whorehouses out there to be found... but those are the really cheesy ones, most likely with foreign women forced into the trade, many are addicts... who don't have ID's and frequently have no idea where they are. THey get raided and busted all the time... those are what you most often see on the news. THe lowest of the low are the streetwalkers... amazing but they do have a hierarchy... and a pecking order among themselves.

I like you lot. Talking about it to people helps out so much. I'm usually reserved about issues I have. Feels good to vent out concerns

The couple I knew actually was four... while being outwardly quite normal... did share a trait that was disturbing but it let them do that work... they have completely detached sex from love or intimacy... at a level few guys are even capable of. Being I wasn't dating them or sleeping with them... I've got to use my perception and judment from what they said and what I observed. I was also told they really don't talk with anyone else like that out of fear their familys and neighbors would find out... in at least one case the husband didn't now... how I don't know but that's what she said. And I was told they couldn't do that job if they didn't keep that separation in their minds. That I believe would cause serious issues... because how could you simply switch that on or off at will. And the most intimate times together to her would be lke going to the office. I don't doubt there are some NOT like that... I'm basing this off the less than a handfull I did know... (yes they did all know each other).

Wife would have had a conniption had she known because they are all fairly local... one only a few minutes walk down the street (less than three blocks away).. but I wasn't sleeping with any them, and I certainly wasn't in the income range to afford their prices even if I wanted to. Actually if I was single I might have wanted to they were all quite attractive and pleasant... but I have a pretty good wife... so I never really considered it. I knew them a bit too well as neighborhood friends before I found out.

I kind of distanced myself a while back from all of them... after I built an encrypted computer system for one of them to hide records after being begged to... I thought about getting implicated if she got busted... I decided pretty quick there were a LOT of down sides and not much of an upside to be seen.

What would you guys do in my situation?

If it was me... I'd walk away. I couldn't deal with it. There are a rare few guys who could... but I'm not one of them. Not with all the possible STD's that are out there. Its not 1969 and the summer of love any longer. I don't like sharing.

Thanks everyone. If anyone else could put some more input into this I would be grateful. Thank you
What other input do you want? Seems clear as glass to me. Are you still hoping to give her an "out"?

I guess I'm just looking for reassurance. I know what to do. I just want help and guidance really

I just want help and guidance really
What do you plan to say to her (if you even plan to talk to her again)? What if she denies it all?

Why would you talk with her at all? Why not just walk away -- No Contact.

She has denied doing any escort work. But to see pictures of her on the website is heartbreaking enough. With other input from here about how the escort job works and such are helping me to add things up and make things clearer.

If you saw the photo.. on the agency website... and its clear enough you have zero doubt (meaning its not just someone surprisingly similar)... show class and walk away nicely... assuming that's your decision.

Showing class and walking away nicely without getting mean.. or nasty is easier on her... (she clearly DOES like you or she wouldn't date you) and you can sleep well and have a clear concience, and not feel bad about treating her badly.

Helps keep you from getting a rep for being a jerk. And also... keep her secret, odds are few people are aware of it.

I have told someone about what she has done. I don't think I should be trying to keep secrets to help her. After she's hurt me. Am I wrong in doing that?

You don't really want to be a gossip do you? Not saying anything is for YOU and your self esteem and social reputation, not for her.

It made me feel better by bringing it to the surface after her efforts to hide it from me. I don't feel that I'm doing anything wrong

It made me feel better by bringing it to the surface after her efforts to hide it from me. I don't feel that I'm doing anything wrong
Once it gets around that you talk badly about former girlfriends and reveal their "secrets," I'm guessing girls won't be too thrilled to date you because they will wonder if they will end up on your "list" someday.

I'm not going around telling everyone. Just a certain person. This is still hurting and I'm trying to find out ways to overcome it

Look at it this way... do you want to lower your standards and figuratively roll around in the mud? Its actually morally superiour to keep your head up and simply walk away.

Is it going to make you feel good if her mother and father find out due to your spreading it around? That's why I say that. Think about how they would feel.

Its also a lot easier to simply walk away.

I am in no way justifying what she is doing... just that sometimes its better to keep your standards than to give them up just to get some sense of revenge.

I believe it hurts. But its not exactly like she picked up your best friend at a party and slept with him. And its certainly not done for fun and for free.


No its not much different....but it is different.

Both are betrayal. Whether for money or not. I understand why you say just walk away, and I am that way inclined. Im not aggressive or vindictive. I just feel that I haven't made anything up, she has done this all herself. Im not broadcasting it to everybody. Just felt good telling somebody about it before I found you guys

When the hurt wears off... you will feel good you didn't go blabbing to the world. If she had gone around publicly humiliating you over anything... I would feel differently, but she hasn't.

I think you might be right. When you're hurt you find it hard to find the right thing to do.

I don't know how long you have been dealing with this female but I can understand the shock and hurt of your sudden discovery. I think you just calmly and honestly end it without drama, without letting the whole world know why. It just didn't work, but it was fun while it lasted. Now its over and in time reasons seldom matter.

I have seen relationships fail for less, and a few that endured through worse. Let the dust settle and gain control of yourself, and do what you have to do. I doubt if this is truly unexpected by her since she knew she was deceptive, for whatever reason, but if you can't handle it, you can't handle it.

I guess if a relationship is too much drama like this, then its not worth being in it. Worried about std's now

I would worry about that no matter what line of work she did. How long have you been together, and how old are you both, if I may ask.

I stayed faithful to her. And expected her to do the same. We've been together for 9 months. She is 33 and I am 25.

I found out that my girlfriend is an escort by looking at the history on the computer. She is booked up with an escort agency with pictures of her on a profile. She must have been lying to me about where she has been going. I just don't know how to feel/think/act. Im confused..

Whose computer and why were you going through the History?

If it is her computer and you were checking what sites she has been to, then you already didn't trust her. Some part of you was questioning what was going on.

I look at this the same way I do all the other snooping and cheating questions we get. It comes down to trust. If you don't trust her for whatever reason, then you need to let go and move on.

You can try talking to her and getting her side of the story. You can ask her to give it up. She might. But even if she did, some part of you will always wonder what she is doing when she isn't with you. Some part will start questioning if the good friend was really at the gym with her or if that person was a client covering for her. Better to walk away before confusion becomes anger and things are said that can't be taken back.

You lose the moral high ground when you start telling other people. It is one thing to talk to a friend you trust who won't gossip as way to find your footing. It is another to tell someone just to hurt her. While you may not mean for it to get around, secrets like these can't help but spread from one 'trusted' friend to another.

Let it go. She probably has been an escort longer than she has known you. Sucks but it is what it is and now you know.

It's both our computer. The site came up on the search bar where you type the website in. I agree with what you are saying, cat. The friend at the gym was my good friend, I spoke to him personally on the phone. He wouldn't lie. The thing is, it's just a mess this relationship. Shouldn't have to be ringing up escort agencies to find out where my girlfriend is