Ok I'm 12 for the people who don't know that already. I got a girlfriend on march 14/07. I don't see her unless were in a turnorment (both in a bb gun program), or practice every Monday.

I get frustrated because she never calls or emails unless I've emailed and she is repling. I got in trouble and took some overly dramatic sadness in my email to her about her not calling or emailing. I sent it and later regreted sending it.
Its been a week and I'm beating myself up. I try meditation, and act like an idiot to keep my mined off it.

I love her and have told her. She tells me she loves me. Every time I get off the phone I say "I love you" she says she loves me too and we hang up.

She is always trying to please her mother and loves to read. I'm afraid that, that email will change her out look on me. I'm scared of the reply. She hasn't checked her emails a lot latly and sense she is out of state till Monday she won't have a chance.

I've never seen one thing she has ever done, I disagree or was wrong in anyway.

She seems so perfect so far and I want to explan the message was not my true feelings it was only rage and stress I felt at that moment.

HELP!!

Thanks,
Kriscool :(



I always try to call her 2 times a week. Is that not enough. I don't want to interfere with her daily life. I just care about her so much.

If you feel bad about your email, write her another and in the subject line type "OPEN FIRST". Explain to her that you would like her to delete the other one without reading it because you were overly emotional. Be honest and open with her. If you are worried that you are calling her too much, ask her. It is difficult to balance it, but you don't want to seem so hung up on her that it pushes her away. I think if you see her every Monday, call her twice a week and exchange emails from time to time that is well within reason.

The difficult thing that you have to realize that at 12 years of age you will find that a lot of girls your age like a different boy every few months. It's also hard to have a 'girlfriend' when you don't actually go out on dates and stuff. I would concentrate the most on the 'friend' part of the equation.

Oh, and next time you feel like pouring your heart out in a letter or email write it and save it for a day or two. Then re-read it and decide if you still want to send it. I still do that!

:)

Hugs, Didi

Just what I was thinking.

I'm not doing that again.
Thanks I already feel Better.
Thanks Didi.

From,
Kriscool

You're welcome!

It seems kind of simple. Too simple.

I don't think 2 times a week is too much. I just don't know where the point of not enough and too much. Because I have no idea.

Kriscool

Girls,well, most girls, are more attracted to guys who aren't "cling-on's". You don't want to ignore her, but you don't want to chase her too strongly either. Besides, her mother might not like it, especially at that age.

There really is no cut and dried rule. She will eventually move on, anyhow. It's just too hard to be boyfriend and girlfriend when you don't see each other very often. She will want someone to go to school or church dances with, hold her hand and go for walks with her. It's kind of like you are feeling now. You want more, without it being too much.

I think that phoning her twice a week is fine, but you will have to take your cues from her. Maybe next time you call her you can ask her when she'd like you to call back. As for you having no idea... get used to it! Girls will make you feel that way for the rest of your life! :)

Didi

Could I ask her what would be obsessive and not enough??

You can ask her when she'd like you to call back. She probably couldn't identify what is too obsessive. Communication is good, but that's a big question.

Didi

What about emails can I get to a point of having an obsession with that?

I understand that 12 emails a day is too much. I'm talking about 1,2, 3 max. a day.

Kriscool

When you send an email to her, wait for her response to send another. If you are exchanging more than one or two, then sure, ask her if she thinks you are sending too many.

Didi