Hi, my fiancé of 4 years left me 3 weeks ago, I have a very close family and she has never really liked them or vice versa, she left me because she says that I do not put her first but she thinks I am an amazing guy, we have a two year old daughter together so I can not just ignore her like most people advise, my family are now ignoring me, telling me to go and be with her and they will back out of my life. This weekend I went to see my daughter and my ex told me how good I was looking and has started phoning and texting me again but only to tell me that she feels for the situation I am in, but we just don't work? She has also told me that she has been on a couple of dates with a guy. I keep telling her when she rings that I want her back and I need her and she listens and says I am just telling her what she wants to hear and we just don't work and she wishes it was different. How can she say that she wishes that and wants to hear that, but doesn't want me? Please help ? :confused:

Because you are tied together by your daughter, you just can't cut and run. What you can do is drop the relationship conversation and focus on your daughter. Do the best for her and basically stay out of the personal stuff with your ex. You have no choice, but to heal and get a life you enjoy without her, but remain on good enough terms for your daughters sake. Hardest thing you'll ever do, so Good Luck!

I feel for you. That whole situation really sucks and now after only 3 weeks after a 4 year relationship she's dating. I think that tells me she already was prior to the break up. Certainly she knew this was coming months if not a year ago. She brought herself out of the relationship while she was still dating you. So know your having to face this sudden shock in your life. That is going to take time and be willing to give yourself as much as you need and don't feel bad about doing it.

As far as your future relationship goes, I would discuss only your daughter with your ex and nothing else. If she starts talking about other things tell her that's nice and leave or hang up the phone. You are no longer he emotional doormat and as such all conversations between the two of you should be serious and about your daughter.

OK, so it didn't work, you have a child so make it work, you both love each other and want to be with each other. The keys to any good love relationship are communication, give and take and compromise, if you follow these simple things you are virtually there if you talk through both your worries, work out where it went wrong, work out what you both really want amicably without rowing, then I think you may save your relationship, I have an idea what she wants but is for her to tell you, I wish you all well don't forget your beautiful child that you both created, sometimes it helps to stand outside the situation and try to view it as if you were not involved, is amazing how clear things become, good luck, you can achieve what you want, just need to communicate a little better without talking in riddles, if you have true love for each other then you have everything, take care

In what ways does she think you put your family over her? I would like to know and give examples because that will help me answer your question better.

She might be passing the buck blaming your closeness to your family, but there had to be other issues happening. As far as telling her you will not be with your family anymore? Your family actually agreeing? Wow, it sounds pretty messed up to me but you need to give more details.

As far as wanting her back, why would you after her breaking it off with you? Yes, you have no choice in the matter of keeping the ties because of your daughter. I hope that it works out, that your able to spend time with your daughter but do not use that as an excuse to try to see her again or to be with her. That is only wrong.

I think it is best that you keep it about your daughter and that getting your girlfriend back is not really feasible and you will be only in for further heartache.

Joe