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alyssanc10
Apr 4, 2014, 07:29 PM
Ok, I will be 16 in July and the guy I have been with for a little over 3 years will be 21 in October. We haven't actually been together, we've been sneaking around. But I understand that 16 is the consent age in Georgia which I know also means that you can have a sexual relationships but does it mean I can date him if my parents was to agree. I know we are on the same page of our relationship and everything. We are just tired of sneaking around.

smoothy
Apr 4, 2014, 07:35 PM
He's 21, you are 16... that makes him a perv because you both are NOT even close to eh same maturity level. The fact that he as a 19 year old was messing around with a 13 year old three years ago only proves it more.

Cat1864
Apr 4, 2014, 08:08 PM
You are 15 and 20 at this moment in time. Do your parents even allow you to date males your own age?

There are no laws regarding dating. However, there may be other laws on the books your parents might want to look into.

That he started a relationship with an 11/12 year old when he was already an adult or close to it (17/18) brings into question his motives and ability to make wise decisions. That he encourages you to go behind your parents' back and disobey them is even worse. How many other people are involved in your current scheme to break the trust your parents have given you?

You need to stop this now and come clean to your parents. They will probably be upset and probably will ban him from the house. But that will be a lot better than finding out their daughter has been destroying their trust for three years if she ends up in an accident or other event where authorities are involved when she is where she isn't supposed to be.

If you want to make adult decisions for yourself, then be mature and don't hide.

J_9
Apr 4, 2014, 08:50 PM
It doesn't matter what age you WILL be, what matters is the age you are now. You are 15 and he is 20. You are a freshman or sophomore in high school, while he should be close to graduating college. Unless he his mentally or emotionally challenged, the two of you have nothing in common. I know you are mature for your age, we hear that from every 15 year old here, so you don't need to say it.

The age of consent in Georgia is 16. If you are having any form of sexual relationship right now, he can be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life.


does it mean I can date him if my parents was to agree Were to agree, not "was to agree." No, you cannot date him, in a sexual way, if your parents agree. Their decisions do not supersede the law. I can't imagine them agreeing to this relationship.

You need to come clean now before something very bad happens.

alyssanc10
Apr 4, 2014, 09:13 PM
Let me rephrase my question from earlier since some of you think you know my situation so well. The whole story is, mine and this guys family was grown up together which made us grow up together. One year, we found ourselves having a crush on each other. We talked for a while but then still had our own relationships. Well last July, the feelings started to grow more and more. This year, I will be 16 in July and he with be 21 in October. I understand 16 is the content age in Georgia which is where I live. So would that mean, we could date if my parents were to agree? I've read with the laws that you can if they did but If they didn't he could be charged for making me disobey them, which wouldn't be what he is doing. And what if your parents are divorce and one parent agrees but the other don't, how would that be? I'm just trying to see if we can finally be together or do we have to wait till I'm 18.

odinn7
Apr 4, 2014, 09:16 PM
Nobody is being rude...you're being told the truth. Obviously, if the guy is that age and interested in you that way then he has issues. Plain and simple. The rest of it, you pretty much got the answer already. And...there is no need to ask the question again under a different title...you'll still get the same answers.

J_9
Apr 4, 2014, 09:16 PM
You have to wait until the parents, both of them divorced or not, agree to let you date. If not, and you continue to date, he can be charged with parental interference.

As of right now, he could be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor (it doesn't always have to do with alcohol and/or drugs) since you are sneaking around behind your parent's backs.

Oh, and drop the attitude, it doesn't make you look very mature.

odinn7
Apr 4, 2014, 09:17 PM
Oh, and drop the attitude, it doesn't make you look very mature.

She is very mature for her age.

J_9
Apr 4, 2014, 09:20 PM
She is very mature for her age.

Of course she is. All 15 year olds are.

alyssanc10
Apr 4, 2014, 09:21 PM
I have no attitude. I just didn't ask for anyone's thoughts on my situation.

J_9
Apr 4, 2014, 09:23 PM
You posted on a public site. You get what you get whether you like it or not.

We are parents. Many of us are parents of young girls your age. None of us would let our daughters date pedophiles. That is what he is if he is 20 and interested in a 15 year old. At his age he should be starting his career and his family, not chasing after a freshman or sophomore in high school.

alyssanc10
Apr 4, 2014, 09:24 PM
You want to talk about maturity? Look at yourself. Just by the comments, you wouldn't seem so mature yourself.

J_9
Apr 4, 2014, 09:30 PM
I'm mature enough to be your mother and I take the safety of my children very seriously.

alyssanc10
Apr 4, 2014, 09:36 PM
I understand I have posted on a public website. What I don't understand is how parents would want to keep their kids away from happiness. I know some say they know best for their kids which some do but sometimes keeping them away from someone or something they love, can ruin your relationship with them. Just think about that. My mother is now married to a man who is 8 years younger than her and who has finally put a smile on her face and the happiness she finally deserves. What's that saying? "Age is nothing but a number" right? Especially when it comes to love.

alyssanc10
Apr 4, 2014, 09:37 PM
That maturity comment, was not to you.

odinn7
Apr 4, 2014, 09:41 PM
Age is only a number once both parties are legal adults...that is the difference here. The fact that he started a relationship with you when you were still just a child and he was an adult...you don't think there is a problem with that?

And it makes no difference to me what you think my maturity level is...we're not talking about me here...I'm not the target of a pedophile.

J_9
Apr 4, 2014, 09:45 PM
We don't want to keep our children away from happiness, but we do want to keep them safe.

At 15 you are only learning what relationships are like, yet you don't have the maturity (this is not a put down) to know what goes through the mind of a 20 year old man. You are a child, he is a man. You see the difference?

Age is nothing but a number once you are an adult. At your age it is your parent's responsibility to protect you from the dangers of pedophiles such as this.

He should be starting his own career and/or family at his age. Not chasing after a high school student. You should be dating boys your own age. This guy is not going to want to go to the prom with you and you can't go out to the bars and clubs with him.

Erikson's Psychosocial Stages says that at your age you need to develop a sense of self and identity. Role confusion is a problem at your age because you feel like an adult and you want to act like an adult, but you AREN'T an adult.

At his age Erikson says that he needs to form intimate and loving relationships. It is illegal for him to do this with a child of your age.

I know you are enamored with this young man, and I understand that, but men this age have things on their minds that are not appropriate for girls your age.

Your mother is married to a man 8 years her junior, but they are adults. It is okay when you are consenting adults. Right now you live with your parent(s) and must follow their rules. If it is found out that the two of you are sneaking around, he very well could go to jail. That's not what you want, is it?

alyssanc10
Apr 4, 2014, 09:56 PM
Of course not. The sneaking around isn't as what you're thinking. But I understand all the things that can go wrong. I do. I was just wondering if when I became 16... And if the parents were to agree so we wouldn't have to wait till I was 18 which is what he is rather to do. But thank you for all of your input.

J_9
Apr 4, 2014, 09:57 PM
You did ask this in the legal section, so I will address that.

If you are sexually active with this man he can be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life, whether or not your parents approve.

If your parents do not allow you to date him, now or when you turn 16, he can be arrested for parental interference. As long as you live under their roof, you must abide by their wishes if you don't want him in trouble.

Once you move out of their home then they have no say as to who you date.

alyssanc10
Apr 4, 2014, 10:02 PM
Oh understand the sexual thing completely in the situation right now. Which he has had enough respect for that we have agreed to wait till we are married. Which I know some would say he is probably receiving sexual active from others but I know he don't. But OK, so when I turn 16 and IF both parents was to agree, it would be legal? In Georgia.

odinn7
Apr 4, 2014, 10:04 PM
Yes, it would be legal in that case.

J_9
Apr 4, 2014, 10:09 PM
IF they agree it would be legal, but it would be irresponsible for them to agree. Don't get your hopes up. Most likely they will be very upset with both him and you for breaching their trust.