My husband and I have a one-year-old, male German Shepherd mix named Stryker. I had never wanted to crate train a dog before until we got him. He has severe separation anxiety--immediately after we leave, he barks this loud, high-pitched whine and it honestly sounds like we're hurting him or something. He immediately starts getting into things and chewing everything and getting on the counter. I cannot take it anymore. I swear I have more anxiety upon leaving than Stryker does. I had a panic attack at work because of him.

He's so clingy that if we're sitting on the couch and we shift our feet or move our arm, he jumps up and stares at us with panic on his face. He won't let us leave the room without being absolutely glued to our sides. What makes it hard is that we live in a small apartment so we have to take him outside to go to the bathroom, he can't just wander into a backyard on his own, so a lot of the time, if we get our coat on, it's to take him out. So we're constantly in each other's immediate vicinity and I know that's a huge part of his anxiety.

Now we looked up how to stop his separation anxiety and literally everything we've tried doesn't work in the slightest. We've tried the desensitization techniques every site recommends and it doesn't work. Getting on our shoes and sitting down or something of the like doesn't work because even if we didn't have shoes on, he'd jump up and follow us, glued to our sides so either way, with or without shoes, he'd have the same reaction. We've tried ignoring him and leaving and coming back over and over again and it makes him more panicked. He'd eventually lay down right in front of the door so we would have to have contact with him no matter what we did.

So eventually we bought a crate because he had gotten into and ruined so many things including my nail polish all over the apartment's carpet, the doorframe in the bathroom, and my husband's new $50 shoes. From the very beginning, even before getting the crate, we had him sleep in a little fenced-off area away from us so it's not like he was suddenly separated. He sleeps in his crate every night and whenever we have to leave the room and can't watch him (showering for example) we put him in his crate. He's okay with being in his crate while we're at home, even if he can't always see us, but once we leave, all hell breaks loose.

The only thing we've found to kind of work (since we can't even put him in his crate we specifically bought for leaving him at home in) is to make him go lay down in his crate and be super firm with him and tell him to stay and then we leave. We've had to clean the whole apartment spotless before we leave just so he can't get into anything he's not supposed to while we're gone. So we've been doing preventative techniques for his bad behavior instead of catching him and disciplining it just because there's no other way in our situation.

Someone please please help us! We're at a loss and I have developed insomnia and anxiety because of him! We need a solution now! :( If not, we're just going to have to throw a shock collar on him and lock him in his crate while we're at work.

A Shepherd mix isn't really the best breed for apartment living, as you have realized to your dismay. He needs a tremendous amount of activity for his physical as well as emotional health. Have you tried taking him on a run before work? Even physical exhaustion will only go so far. Assuming him to be in the 80 - 100 pound range (40 - 50Kg), he will need a walk after about 4 hours in a crate. Can one of you get home for a lunchtime walk? After work another long run would be beneficial to him and make him quite happy to nap so you can have some time for yourselves. Another possibility would be a dog sitting service or co-op where you either hire someone to stay with him or leave him at another dog owners during the day.

Please please don't use a shock collar. They are not for the inexperienced at all, I don't like them ever but some professionals will use them. They cause pain to the dog and can give you a fearful dog. Consult a trainer is my advice to deal with this issue.
Walks can help with his energy levels. Cats gave you some good advice.

Thank you for your answer! Yes I know :( We originally were planning on just getting a small dog just because we knew it wouldn't be fair to a larger dog to be cooped up inside an apartment all day. We are hoping to be able to move into a house this June when our lease is up *fingers crossed.* I've thought about walking him before work but my job is already physically demanding so I'm afraid it would only exhaust me further :/ Also, I'd have to wake up at around 5 am and that doesn't sound very appealing. He's only fifty pounds. At my work, we don't get a lunch break, sadly, and my husband works about 45 minutes away and doesn't get home till about 7 at night. I've thought about a dog-sitter but we don't know anyone here in town so I wouldn't be able to trust someone to do it :/ The closest dog owner we know well is 20 minutes away and neither of us would want to make that drive every morning. We hate this town and can't wait to move back to where our family is. Things will be a ton easier for us and for Stryker.

Is there anyone in your apartment building/complex you would trust to take him out? Maybe someone currently unemployed or looking for a little extra money?

It may not be appealing to get up early to take him out and give him the exercise he needs, but he is going crazy without it.

Do you have a friend or family member who could foster him until you get a house and/or the ability to give him the exercise and stimulation he needs?

I don't want to sound mean or harsh, but if you can't give him what he needs to be a mentally healthy animal then maybe you should rehome him.

Frankly, it sounds like even a smaller dog may not fit into your lifestyle right now.