I'm torn between two men.

A is my boyfriend of two years and B is someone I met through a social circle about a year ago.

B and I have been seeing each other now for almost 6 months and he's been asking me to leave A. The problem is, I had been generally happy in my relationship with A. I had not thought that there was anything wrong with the relationship with A before I started falling for B.

I like them both a lot; however, sex between A and I have not been as passionate and I mostly just want to cuddle with him instead of having sex. But I don't know if this is something I should consider when choosing who I want to be with. My guess is that with B it may also die down after a while...

Another problem is that I don't see a clear future blueprint B has for himself ( career wise more specifically). He's 36 and has been taking a break from work for a year. He has no problem of supporting himself at the moment and is enjoying not working, but for me there is a concern of stability.

I feel like A is more stable but at this point I feel like he's more like a close friend/ family. They both treat me well but I really don't know what to do. I feel that I've dragged this on for too long :( I'm really confused.

I am going to be blunt: If you can't decide between two people, leave both of them alone and find someone who has the traits that draw you to the two different men.

If you aren't happy in your current relationship, walk away. Stop putting yourself in the position of emotionally cheating on him even if you don't cross the line into physically cheating. Do not leave for another person. If you leave, it should be for yourself.

B may be a great guy. But I have to question the reliability of someone who dates a person who is in a relationship and encourages the person to cheat. It tells me he is all about what he wants no matter who or what gets hurt and right now that is you. If you were actually single and he had to work on the relationship with all of the daily ups and downs, he might not be as interested.

Confusion only lasts as long as you feed it.

Thank you Cat1864. Your comment makes a lot of sense.

I think I just have this fear that I don't know whether I can find someone who has the traits of both. I know there is no perfect partner and I wonder if I should settle for what I have now.

I also feel like maybe I don't feel the passion with my boyfriend anymore because this is the "normal" course of a relationship. Maybe I should not expect that to exist after 2 years anyway. And I also fear that the same thing is going to happen again with future relationships ( whether it's with B or not).

Your problem is you think you only have two choices, and you don't. You are just afraid to strike out on your own and find your happiness for yourself. You are probably trying to figure out how to best love yourself. That would be a good reason to leave them both alone and do your own thing for a while. If nothing else, to end the confusion of a divided heart.

You cannot define yourself by a relationship, until the relationship with yourself becomes defined.

Agree, and also, of course after that 2 or 3 years many couples go though a period where the passion dies off. Many break ups occur then. Was A. like what you wanted when it started ? If so, what effort, besides cheating on A, have you done?

I say neither A or B... since you were fooling around on each of them with the other as neither were apparently important enough to be exclusive... Try C... someone new... start over again.