victorb1785
Apr 2, 2014, 02:12 AM
OK, so this happened yesterday, but it was coming for about a month now, if not even more. Some background into how it all went (it is going to be long, but it is required):
I started dating her back in 2010, that's almost 4 years together. It didn't start well, I was just a naïve inexperienced guy back then who fell in love with a woman who is 4 years older than him. She was just getting over a breakup herself, a 10 year-long marriage that was ending at that time. She has a kid with that man, she was still trying to bring their family together, but didn't say no when I asked her out. I was swallowing tons of pain at that time, I was getting out of my skin to be the guy that is capable of giving her what she needs, of making her happy, to be the guy that would be the right replacement to her husband. I realize it now that what I did was wrong, I should have never got myself involved in a relationship with someone who was still not ready for it. I remember the times I accepted the fact that she even slept with her husband in the attempt to bring the family back together. But she was kissing me and hanging out with me too, she never tolerated my lack of experience, and was giving me really hard times when I was just trying to get closer to her. You know, I did not get into their family to drive her away. Her husband left her, my brain was so immature back then that it had no control over my heart and my feeling towards her. We broke up multiple times, got back together again, as I felt like I was quitting and that I might regret it later.
Some year and a half of waiting, coping, hoping, she was saying she needed me because I make her feel better, that she is discovering things that she thought she'd lost, but at the same time, I was never enough for her. More than this, I could only get to see her like once a week, twice max, she had her duties, going to dance classes, some other stuff. I learned to accept all that, but somewhere deep down I knew all this would come to an end. I tried numerous times to talk to her about these things. She always said that I don't appreciate enough what she's doing for me, for our relationship, she said that if we don't share the same dreams (like dancing latino together, or some other stuff that she enjoyed doing) then she won't be with me. I was trying to explaing to her that it is not right to make someone share your dreams, but rather stimulate each other on following their dreams individually. She never agreed. I asked her to make time to see me at least one more day than just on some weekend night. It never got anywhere. The relationship with her started to look like just one-time-a-week sex relationship to me. I had to give up many dreams I had related to her - I lost belief I would ever get them accomplished next to her.
It all got worse starting last autumn, right after spending the vacation together at the sea side. I was starting a gym business with my coach and was heavily investing money and time in that. I am also a software developer and starting doing games development because this is something I like and I dreamed about making my own commercial games. This requires time and patience. She insisted that we moved in together. She was to move in with her child, this is why we needed to get a larger place, with at least two rooms. My single room flat that I am still renting was not sufficient. The reason why she insisted so much is that she wanted to get closer to me, and also because she found out that her ex husband found a new girlfriend, they moved in together and they were even planning to get married She was always in bad moods, my attempts to calm her down and comfort her were rarely successful. I was just feeling I am being used as a crying shoulder. Plus to this, when I told her it would not be possible to move in together for the time being, due to my new responsibilities that would take me about half a year to get sorted, she started to resent me, asked obsessively for time with her, got mad with me even on days when I was not feeling well and was unable to see her. This drove us away, both me and her. It started with me, I started avoiding her in some ways. I guess the only reason why I still stayed in the relationship with her is that the sex was great, and there was still hope that maybe someday, things will get better.
We started fighting more and more, my nervous system is at the limits right now. We didn't see each other for nearly a month. She told me yesterday she gave up, she never wants to see me again or get back to me again, that she wants to move on. I tried asking for another chance to patch things up, she refused to give it to me. She managed to bring the info of this to me in such a way that I feel guilty for everything that didn't work right in our relationship.
I started dating her back in 2010, that's almost 4 years together. It didn't start well, I was just a naïve inexperienced guy back then who fell in love with a woman who is 4 years older than him. She was just getting over a breakup herself, a 10 year-long marriage that was ending at that time. She has a kid with that man, she was still trying to bring their family together, but didn't say no when I asked her out. I was swallowing tons of pain at that time, I was getting out of my skin to be the guy that is capable of giving her what she needs, of making her happy, to be the guy that would be the right replacement to her husband. I realize it now that what I did was wrong, I should have never got myself involved in a relationship with someone who was still not ready for it. I remember the times I accepted the fact that she even slept with her husband in the attempt to bring the family back together. But she was kissing me and hanging out with me too, she never tolerated my lack of experience, and was giving me really hard times when I was just trying to get closer to her. You know, I did not get into their family to drive her away. Her husband left her, my brain was so immature back then that it had no control over my heart and my feeling towards her. We broke up multiple times, got back together again, as I felt like I was quitting and that I might regret it later.
Some year and a half of waiting, coping, hoping, she was saying she needed me because I make her feel better, that she is discovering things that she thought she'd lost, but at the same time, I was never enough for her. More than this, I could only get to see her like once a week, twice max, she had her duties, going to dance classes, some other stuff. I learned to accept all that, but somewhere deep down I knew all this would come to an end. I tried numerous times to talk to her about these things. She always said that I don't appreciate enough what she's doing for me, for our relationship, she said that if we don't share the same dreams (like dancing latino together, or some other stuff that she enjoyed doing) then she won't be with me. I was trying to explaing to her that it is not right to make someone share your dreams, but rather stimulate each other on following their dreams individually. She never agreed. I asked her to make time to see me at least one more day than just on some weekend night. It never got anywhere. The relationship with her started to look like just one-time-a-week sex relationship to me. I had to give up many dreams I had related to her - I lost belief I would ever get them accomplished next to her.
It all got worse starting last autumn, right after spending the vacation together at the sea side. I was starting a gym business with my coach and was heavily investing money and time in that. I am also a software developer and starting doing games development because this is something I like and I dreamed about making my own commercial games. This requires time and patience. She insisted that we moved in together. She was to move in with her child, this is why we needed to get a larger place, with at least two rooms. My single room flat that I am still renting was not sufficient. The reason why she insisted so much is that she wanted to get closer to me, and also because she found out that her ex husband found a new girlfriend, they moved in together and they were even planning to get married She was always in bad moods, my attempts to calm her down and comfort her were rarely successful. I was just feeling I am being used as a crying shoulder. Plus to this, when I told her it would not be possible to move in together for the time being, due to my new responsibilities that would take me about half a year to get sorted, she started to resent me, asked obsessively for time with her, got mad with me even on days when I was not feeling well and was unable to see her. This drove us away, both me and her. It started with me, I started avoiding her in some ways. I guess the only reason why I still stayed in the relationship with her is that the sex was great, and there was still hope that maybe someday, things will get better.
We started fighting more and more, my nervous system is at the limits right now. We didn't see each other for nearly a month. She told me yesterday she gave up, she never wants to see me again or get back to me again, that she wants to move on. I tried asking for another chance to patch things up, she refused to give it to me. She managed to bring the info of this to me in such a way that I feel guilty for everything that didn't work right in our relationship.